Tag Archives: Attachment parenting

Monday Musings: Moving Past Anger

Sqaure A+E
We hosted a bonus class for Bradley students to meet our chiropractor on Saturday. Since our lives have been immeasurably enriched since we started chiropractic care. we invite him to share the benefits of chiropractic care with our students. As a Bradley™ dad, he also has some amazing tips on coaching back labor. Since they involve physical manipulation of the sacrum, we leave that info to the professional!

And then – the reason why he is a “bonus class”. He is a wealth of information on all things parenting and life. On this visit, he really stressed the importance of emotional health and well-being in the partnership before the baby arrives to have a better birth experience. He also shared that the stress level of the caregiver affects the immune health of the child.

As we seek to improve interpersonal communication, recognize that anger is unmet expectation.

Simple. It is not about you. It doesn’t need to spiral.

“You had an expectation – what did you want to happen?”

Whether you ask it of yourself, your partner, your child, or whoever it is that is angry, you have inserted a place for a breath. The answer to that question is something we can do something about. Or maybe it the start of a conversation than is long overdue.  Be it an action or a dialogue, maybe both, steps can be taken that remove the anger and restore the peace.

I am so looking forward to this new tool in our communication toolbox!

Do you think this could work for you?
If you already  have a “breathing space” question(s), what  works for you?

Wordless Wednesday: Winter Fun

As it turns out, living in CA and AZ we are not going to have traditional winter pictures…here’s what we have been doing without snow!

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Picnics

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Sand play – at the beach!

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Learning about money at Chandler Museum CTown Suitcase Club

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Blowing dandelion seeds and making wishes

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Learning how to use castanets from Ms. Linda Machado

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Jungle Jill brought some of her pets to show & tell at NatGeo Kids Club

Otter and Charger reacting to an animal visitor

Otter and Charger reacting to an animal visitor

The Sweet Pea Kids little prank that gets me almost every time - including today as I sat down outside to do this post!!

The Sweet Pea Kids little prank that gets me almost every time – including today as I sat down outside to do this post!!

 

 

Attachment Parenting: Responding With Sensitivity

I was so glad to be able to attend another monthly meeting of the Attachment Parenting Support Group this month.  I always learn something, and there is usually an a-ha moment or two!

“Responding With Sensitivity” can be a way to prevent the need to discipline when behaviors are a result of acting out.  Remove the need to act out, and you remove the need to discipline for that instance.  It can also circumvent or redirect behavior if a child is already moving down the path to needing help to make kinder choices themselves.  Meeting them where they are at, at their level, listening to what they need, redirecting if necessary – those actions from the parent that honor the child can make all the difference in their world.

Here are the three behaviors shared with us in yesterday’s meeting by Amanda, our AP facilitator in the Phoenix area:

1.  Show interest in your child’s activities and participate enthusiastically in child-directed play.
This made so much sense.  We can spend the day telling our children what to do: go here, go there, do this, stop that…I can see how it gets to be too much.  It must be so rewarding as a child to feel like your word counts because for once, one of your favorite adults is happy to do what you want to do.

2.  Some children enjoy programs where parents are not included.
There are children who will thrive in a home environment, there are others that will enjoy a group environment.  If your child is one who craves groups, then we as parents need to gauge our child’s readiness to spend significant time away from us.  Our other responsibility is to learn about the type of support provided by the adult caregivers.  How do they run the classroom/group? What are their expectations?  How do they set boundaries?  Are those things (and more!) in line with your beliefs?  One thing that was not brought up in the meeting, but that comes up because of my own backstory is to ask if the care providers have been trained, screened, and/or cleared for child care.

3.  Babies’ brains are extremely immature – the more you soothe them, the more they learn about soothing themselves. 
This particular facet piqued my interest, especially after Tuesday’s post.  I am intrigued by the idea that the more they are comforted, the more skills they have at doing the comforting.

The simplicity of this principle really struck me, and confirmed once again, that AP can work because you are respecting your child as a whole person who has needs, however they are able (or unable) to communicate them.  It is our role as parents to slow down, listen with our hearts as well as our ears, and meet that child where they are.

When I think of, “Responding With Sensitivity”, it means that we are intentional about nurturing, comforting, and being kind to our children.  Not just when we can see them start heading to a melt down – all the time.  To me, it means I want to learn to move through the day with the mindset that we are meant to nurture, comfort and be kind *always*.

I know whenever I hear our child crying or whining, my first thought, especially when I am tired, is typically to think, “What now?”  AP teaches that any behaviors out of their ordinary usually indicate that they have a need that isn’t being filled.  I am training myself to learn to ask, “Which need is not being met?”  I know that they are not setting out to ruin or manipulate when I am rested…I want to remember that when I am tired, too.

With an infant, the needs are pretty easy to identify after four kiddos…wet, hungry, tired, in need of more/less touch?  I am having a harder time – maybe you have a suggestion to help me formulate a toddler list when they are not always able to use words.  So far my checklist includes: hungry, tired, eye contact and attention…what else should I add to my list?

Our older kids are “easy” to decipher thanks to spoken language and body language .  Now I am waiting for the hormones to kick in and make me learn AP skills for tweens and teens…

I am still pondering the sleep statement.  I wonder if that is why some babies rock when they are tired?  And it brings up the never-ending debate of nature versus nurture.  Can I teach my “high-needs” child to soothe themselves?  Can we nurture them out of their nature?  Do we want to?

So for now, sleep will continue to be something I am just happy to “roll” with (pardon the pun!).  If it works for our family, we will go with it.  If it doesn’t, we will try other ideas, until we find the next something that works “for now”.

The big a-ha moment from yesterday:  AP takes time.  A Lot Of Time.  Time I don’t always want to take because our “demand change now tape” from my reflexes takes over.  I worked so hard to never bark out orders at my adult staff and co-workers – why would I treat my children with any less respect?  Unfortunately, my reality is that it is SO much faster to bark a directive than it is to breathe, reflect, and get down on our child’s eye level and nurture them.  However, seeing the moments when an older child remembers to breathe instead of react, the time when they look a sibling in the eye to ask, “are you okay”…those are the rays of promise that efficiency *is not* everything.  Nurturing with love and respect is worth it every time.

So I will continue to try to erase the “fast” tape and replace it with the “intention” tape.  I can see it’s worth it, and I want to allow our children the space to know that they are worth my time.

I will close with this video that I ran across today.  It was put together by Rachel Rainbolt, M.A., and it offers more insight on the biology of infant sleep:

Sleep-Bonding

Do you want to keep up with information about the Attachment Parenting of Phoenix group?  It is facilitated by Amanda Santana, and meetings are held the 3rd Thursday of the month.  You can find her at Nurtured Beginnings on Facebook HERE

P.S. We are having a great opportunity to try out Responding With Sensitivity today.  We have one Sweet Pea with a fever that hasn’t broken, two tired parents, and three other Sweet Peas who want and need attention…definitely time to breathe, speak with kindness, and parent with the intention of meeting everyone individually and respond to that particular child’s needs.

Sleep Happens

I was contacted by a sleep coach recently.  I went to her website, read through it, contacted some IBCLC’s I know, thought about it some more, and then after much contemplation, I have a path forward.  Now I just have to write back.

In the meantime, I have run across a couple of blogs that talk about sleep, I have revisited my Pinterest board to find articles about sleep, and reflected on what I know from my experience, and the insight I have into Cassandra’s journey with night nursing.

I don’t think anybody will ever convince me that training your infant child to sleep through the night is a good thing.  Here are two articles I like to share that explain why getting an infant to sleep through the night, when it hasn’t been a milestone they reach on their own, can actually be dangerous.

  • THIS one from Organic Baby Atlanta
  • THIS one from Yahoo! Voices

A student’s answer in reply to THIS post I shared inspired me to write today’s blog post.  Here is her comment (shared with permission):

“I don’t agree with this article being so adamant about it being normal to be so tired and an emotional wreck. I think that’s dangerous to say; because if you feel like that, you need support, and to adjust your lifestyle to compensate. Not just say it’s normal and suffer.”

So while you will probably not find me as a sleep training advocate, I do agree that families have to have a strategy to get the sleep they need so all the adults are fully-functioning during the waking hours: physically, mentally and emotionally stable as they go about their lives with a newborn.  Upon more reflection, I have come up with five suggestions for you to “try on” or “toss”, as needed.

1. EVALUATE
There are no easy answers.  I really encourage our students and friends with babies to trust their heart when it comes to their child.  I recognize that some ideas from The Experts are worthwhile, so try/take what you need and works for your family, without breaking your heart in the process.  Then, toss the books, The Experts, and Read Your Child.  How is their temperament?  Their growth? Are the reaching milestones?  Does what you are choosing feel right for you, and right for your child?  Are they at/around a milestone time?  Believe it or not, learning new skills can mess with sleep as much, if not more, than teething!

In addition to that – how are you?  Do you have the support you need?  Are you connecting with other mothers in similar situations?  Have you formed a mama tribe? Are the people around you supportive? And if not, are you okay with your decisions? ARE YOU WAKING YOUR PARTNER UP TO HELP WITH CARE??

2.  ENGAGE YOUR PARTNER
I emphasize the last questions because parenting is a team gig.  You cannot parent in a vacuum.  If there are two of you in the home, then the two of you need to participate in care.  We often hear, “But they have to go to work in the morning.” *crickets* SO DO YOU.

Whether mothers work at home, or work outside of the home, we have to show up, too.  Not zombie mama, tired mama, yelling mama…I can honestly say I hate it when she shows up at my house…so ironic as I write the wee hours of the morning in AZ.  Lucky for me, I am a 6-hr a night type of gal, and since I fell asleep at 8:00 pm, things are looking good for today.  Anyway, I digress.

Your best mama is needed every day.  So wake up your partner and have them help you if your baby (or child of any age) is still waking through the night.  Both of you are invested in your child, and this night waking thing is temporary.  Trust me, it too, shall pass.  We literally slept in shifts for a brief period last year.  It was crazy while we were in it; looking back, I am glad it’s over; and I can see now that it truly was temporary.

 

Sometimes it helps to get a routine going, and you can both get back to sleep.  THIS article has great tips on training your infant’s circadian rhythms without resorting to cry-it-out methods.  Our “infant” routine consisted of the baby waking, being passed off to Bruss for a diaper change while I got up to use the restroom (still! because making breastmilk also requires a hydrated mama), and then I would come back to a clean, dry baby, and I would sit down to nurse.  After passing off our nursling, Bruss would head to the kitchen, fix me a high-protein snack, deliver said snack, and then he would go back to bed.  I would nurse our baby until they were back asleep(!).  With some kiddos, we used an Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper, with others we did bed-sharing, and with some, as they got older, they were lovingly cradled into the crib in our room.

We followed each child’s cues, and they got back to sleep, we got back to sleep, and life moved on.

3. MAKE SLEEP A PRIORITY
The other key that is so hard to follow is the old adage, “Sleep when the baby is sleeping”.  Yes, that means during the day, too, especially in the early postpartum days, or even when you have a toddler.  (As I sit in the middle of “being two” with Otter!)  I know: you have things to do, emails to answer, places to go.  This is written with much love in my heart: I don’t care.  I mean it – sleep when the baby is sleeping.  The best thing we ever did, and I can’t believe it took me four babies to get it right, was to take a babymoon.

We shifted priorities in our home.  For the first week, I stayed in bed with Otter.  That’s it.  It was A.Ma.Zing.  I didn’t look at the messy house, the kitchen, the scattered messes happening everywhere as our other children moved about their days.

Who else finds this image disturbing? Amazingly, I was able to let it go and enjoy our Babymoon because I was intentional about prioritizing sleep over my need to organize and sort.

Who else finds this image disturbing? Amazingly, I was able to let it go and enjoy our Babymoon because I was intentional about prioritizing sleep over my need to organize and sort.

Our bedroom was clean, our bathroom was clean, and I just closed my eyes when we took our daily walk through the house to sit outside in the sun and get some fresh air.  Other than that, all meals were brought to our room, sometime the kiddos picnicked with us, other times, I ate while I snuggled with Otter and fell right back to sleep.

Most partners can take a week off of work if a grandparent is not able to help out in the postpartum period.  Whoever it is, let them take care of you, and take care of the other children, while all you do is sleep, sleep, and sleep between breastfeeding your infant.  If you can take more than a week, do it.  Other world cultures practice a 40-day period of rest and recovery.  If that is not your reality, know that getting rest and letting your body have a surge of healing time through your first week can make the rest of the postpartum period easier to handle.  Facing it as a rested person, and not a zombie, does wonders for your perspective.  Need more convincing?  THIS article from Birth Without Fear makes a great case for Mothering the Mother.

Newsflash:  There are great ways to make technology work in your favor and release any feelings of having “to do” something with anything that clicks.  Set up your email with an “Out of Office” auto-reply announcing your babymoon, and offer an alternative mode of contact if someone feels their business is urgent enough to warrant an immediate response.   Almost all social media platforms now have a “cover photo” option that pops up when people search for you.  Write an announcement and make it your “cover” to let people know you will be out of touch, soon to return.  And lastly, if you blog, enlist other people to write for you.  I had four wonderful teachers from my mama tribe step up and write guest posts for me while we enjoyed snuggling with our Sweet Pea.  Turn everything off, and sleep when your baby is sleeping.

It Can All Wait.

4. SET BOUNDARIES
Learn to say YES.

  • To the friend who offers to set up a meal schedule.
  • To the visitor who offers to do housework (leave a list of chores they can choose from).
  • To the person who offers to leave your home and let you get some sleep.
  • What else??  Anything else that serves you, as uncomfortable as it might be to accept help.

Learn to say NO.

  • To the person who wants to come to visit during a sleep time.
  • To the person that wants you to help with something while you are on maternity leave.
  • To the outing that you can’t handle because you are too tired to go.
  • What else??  Anything else that will drain your energy reserves and keep you from sleeping.

As your baby gets older, it is so important to apply the same standards for your Yes’s and your No’s.  Avoid the temptation to fill your day full of activities, classes, and play dates *every* day.  Many of our students Just Say No to events that happen during nap time .  I am so proud of them, even if it means that we won’t get to see them or their Sweet Peas.

5. ENLIST HELP
Another option in the postpartum period that is increasingly available is hiring a Postpartum Doula.  These women are trained in the postpartum care of a family.  To quote a doula we interviewed, “…what I do is much more than taking care of infants; a Postpartum Doula offers education, companionship and in-home support for families with infants.” They can be available to do light housework, prepare meals, care for the baby while you sleep, and some are even trained lactation counselors who can help identify and troubleshoot any breastfeeding challenges you may have.  Want to learn more?  HERE is the full interview on our Sweet Pea Births blog.

Truly, these women are invested in helping you have the best postpartum experience possible, and for a very reasonable fee.  As your baby ages, and if your budget can’t afford a nanny or weekly house cleaner, consider their doula fee your monthly “treat”.  Have them come over once a month to play with your baby, prep a meal, clean the kitchen – while you take the much needed nap.  I am not sure at which point in your child’s age they would want to terminate their services.  I guess it’s a question worth asking.

Please check our Resource Page for a list of Postpartum Doulas if you are in the Phoenix, AZ area.  If not, you can check out DONA International’s registry, or doulamatch.net to connect with doulas in your geographic area.

It is my fervent hope that some of these ideas may work for you.  Everything is so much more manageable when you replace the “tired and tank empty” filter, with a “rested and tank is full” filter.

I also like learning new tips, so please feel free to share what worked for your family, or a link to your blog post about getting sleep and/or postpartum care in the comments.

What has worked for you to get more sleep in the postpartum period, or as your child develops before they start sleeping through the night?

PS: Another article I like about sleep training HERE

Monday Musings: Trust that you know

There are so many books about raising your child(ren).  There are so many experts with an idea, a book, a product to sell you that is going to solve all your childcare woes.

Except they are missing one thing.  They are missing what you know.  You, that may have carried your child for nine months.  Their DNA resides in your brain – you are literally connected to them.  If you are an adoptive family, there is still a connection that comes from living with your child.  With no preconditions or bias, you are open to receive the information that they offer about themselves.  You Know Them.

You know what you know.  Listen to what your heart is telling you.

  • Does your child fall asleep nursing?  Do you both get to sleep that way?
  • Does your child like to sleep next to you?  Can you find a safe sleeping situation so that you can stay close?
  • Does your child like to be held?  Can you find a great wrap that let’s you hold them and still tackle your List for the day?
  • Does your child leave food on their plate?  Are they developing and achieving growth milestones? And have you considered that maybe you are serving too much food?
  • Is your child refusing a certain food? Have you considered that maybe they have a food allergy and they are not being defiant or playing games?

From sleep, to feeding, to schooling, to play…everyone has an opinion.  I am going to write more about infant sleep tomorrow…these are just some thoughts that are rumbling around in my head as I research for that post.  It is so important for us as parents to Know That We Know Our Children.  No book, idea, or product has a sure-proof guarantee that it is the right thing to pursue with your child.  Only you can know that, and sometimes after trial and error.

I love the idea that I learned in La Leche League…treat all information sharing as a buffet…take what appeals to you/ works for you, and leave the rest.  Trust your instinct, love your child, and make the choices that you know are right for your family.  When you make a decision from a place of love, it is pretty hard to go wrong.

Tuesday Tips: An Au Natural Holiday

No, we are not running around the house naked – although I admit, you will see an occasional  naked baby bottom streaking through the house!  The title refers to today’s blog post, written as part of the Carnival of Natural Mothering 🙂



Welcome to the November 2013 Carnival of Natural Mothering!

This article is a part of the Carnival of Natural Mothering hosted by GrowingSlower, Every Breath I Take, I Thought I Knew Mama, African Babies Don’t Cry, and Adventures of Captain Destructo. This month’s topic is Incorporating Natural Into the Holidays. Be sure to check out all of the participants’ posts through the links at the bottom of this page.

November 5, 2013: Incorporating Natural Into the Holidays
As we approach the holiday season, it is easy to get swept up in preparations and anticipation. How do you bring your natural lifestyle into the holidays with you? Whether it’s eco-friendly party prep, special treats that are also healthy, traditions that involve aspects of nature, or the natural techniques you use to stay calm and focused during the busy months ahead, we would love to read your stories and suggestions that focus on all that relates to a natural lifestyle during the hustle and bustle of the holidays.

Ahh – the holidays.  I am fascinated that the season of celebrating “holy days” is also the time when we can get the most frazzled, the most frustrated, and the most hurried.  It is pretty much exactly the opposite of keeping things sacred and holy!

The most important thing I try to remember is the “reason for the season”.  Is it really important to have the best looking and tasting food, the prettiest house, the most presents; if along the way you have forgotten to be kind to others, most importantly, your children?  For a lot of us, striving for perfection layers on added stress, guilt and pressure.  By extension, we lash out at the little people who are still needing our attention outside of our huge lists of things we need to do to: shopping, cleaning, preparing, hosting…those lists go on and on and on.

There are several things I have learned along the way that help me to be more intentional and peaceful during the season of hustle and bustle.

1. Breathe.  That simple act can make a simple and profound difference.  Before I don my cape, I aim to take five deep breaths as I start the day, reflecting on the intention of that day.  I no longer carve out time for a full yoga practice in the morning…now I simply use the deep breathing techniques I learned, and I review my mantras.  I want to be sure that Peaceful Mama shows up for my kids this day, not the Crazy Mama who yells her way across the day.

2. Flower Essences.  I can’t say enough about these amazing Lotus Wei elixirs.  We discovered them a few years ago and we will be forever customers.  I keep them next to our bathroom sink so that I can breathe in peace, love and joy every time I wash my hands.  A.Ma.Zing.BLOG lotus photo

3. Simplify.  I read an article this summer that talked about what kiddos remember the most about summer vacation: ice cream and the beach.  What?! That’s easy!  It’s so easy to discount the simple things while we focus on “going” and “doing”.

I think this concept of simplicity is perfect to apply to the holiday season as well.  Sit down with your partner and identify what it is you want your children to remember about the holidays.  Better yet, ask them what their favorite part of the season is, and see if you can incorporate it as often as possible into your days.

Things to consider if you want to simplify your list – how many events will you attend in a weekend?  How can you plan your days so that you do things with your children, instead of for your children?  Do you have family traditions you want them to learn, and if so, how do they become a part of them instead of having them done to them?

4.  Let Go.  Things are transient…I don’t know if our children will remember how perfect I made things. I know they remember that I was frazzled and stressed through the holidays.  Instead of trying to do it all, we pinpoint and do the meaningful things that grow us as a person and as a family.

5. Have Fun.  When I listen to our children, it seems to me that we have forgotten one important aspect of childhood:  they are in it for the fun.  Nothing gives me greater joy than hearing their laughter, or hearing their excitement at all the beauty of the holiday season.  So while we write our lists, do our shopping, make our meals, I try to be mindful that all they want to do is have a good day.  In my mind, a “good day” means feeling loved, sharing a laugh, and having fun.  I would rather not get it all done, and instead put “doing” off for another day so we all enjoy the “living”.

So what does that look like in action?

The breathing and the flower essences mean that I turn down my volume.  When I get stressed, I get loud, and that only serves to scare our children.  That is definitely not what I want them to remember about the holiday season!!  Being mindful of my intention to “make memories” instead of “doing things” helps me to focus on the big picture of wanting the holidays to be full of peace and joy.  To me, this mindset is more in-line with the promise and the hope that was delivered in the manger in Bethlehem.

It also means we take time to read holiday stories, sing holiday songs, and make holiday cookies.  We choose to spend time with our children, each other as partners, and our family.  I think when most of us look back, what stands out is the time with our loved ones, not the gifts they gave us, or the meals that they cooked.  We strive to make the prep time as important as the actual event we are preparing for.

For us, this meant letting go of hosting two holiday parties every season.  We cut our guest list to make the one event we do host more meaningful.  Instead of staying up all night on Thanksgiving night, we hire someone to do our decorating now, and it gets done over a 3-4 day period.  That lets me sleep, which is a much better choice in the long run.  If we couldn’t afford to hire someone, we would do less.  We made that choice with our outside decorating – now we do our own lights, again over more time and with a less ambitious approach.  Less is more, right?  And, it is so fun to have our kiddos showcase “their” section of the yard they decorated.

As they get older, we invite the children to help inside the house as well, and they take ownership of that holiday tradition with pride.  We use artificial trees, which saves a tree.  We use them until they are “Charlie Brown” style to be mindful of the environmental cost of production.  Again, we are not striving for perfection.  To them, it is all wonderful and beautiful.  Letting them place ornaments and other decor where they can see them and enjoy them has become more important than having the perfect show house.

Another “natural” choice we make is to give edible gifts.  Again, the goal is to reduce “stuff”.  Here is a gift everyone enjoys, and food can be wrapped creatively without adding to the mounds of packaging that will be thrown out or recycled.  If we don’t make the treats ourselves, we shop local at a farmer’s market for yummy treats to give to teachers, friends, family, or as hostess gifts.

We also go “au natural” through the holidays by giving back.  Although we all enjoy giving gifts, we also incorporate a charity into every season.  This was a tradition started by our families that we are passing on to our children.  We read through the holiday gift catalog from organizations like Heifer International or World Vision.  We read about parts of the world where people do not live like we do, and the kiddos choose gifts from those catalogs to give to their grandparents, who are in a phase of life where they are paring down.  I think we will start doing this for them to choose gifts for each other as well – we are all toyed out over here!

How do you incorporate natural living into your family’s holiday season?

Bloggers, visit GrowingSlower to sign up to be a part of next month’s carnival.

Monday Musings: Back to the Breath

Oh, my volume was higher over the last couple of days again…got a confirmation last night that I need to keep doing my deep breathing and using humor when it’s my moon time!!

So here is my affirmation for today, perfectly timed for this week.  I am so glad to report that the affirmations thus far have really helped me be a more peaceful mama.

I have remembered more often to breathe before speaking.  Puma wanted her hair curled for a party last night.  We got through her hair styling without major drama (she has one teeny spot she can’t reach with her brush, and she doesn’t want help, and there is always a dreadlock there!)  It turned out so well – she looked every bit the fairy and won a prize for her costume!

Charger and I have been negotiating the weaning process.  He is a little lost right now – and he has been acting out.  Most times, I have remembered to use humor – he really has a great laugh!  I also tried to be empathetic and show him love when he was not acting very lovable.

Night Owl and I are working on breathing together.  He is the most impulsive of our children for now, and so when I see him escalating, I ask him to take a deep breath with me.  It was so amazing to see him take a couple of deep breaths without prompting last week.  In addition, there have been a couple of times that he may have retaliated had he not been acting intentionally; I have seen him remain calm and make kinder choices.  What proud mama moments those are!  I praised him and thanked him for his kind choices; it was so neat to feel him glow with pride.

I would love to hear if any of these affirmations have helped you, or if you have read some affirmations from other sources that have helped you.  If you have a minute, please leave us a comment and share your thoughts – thank you!

Monday Musings: Breathe First

The picture in the top image is of our boys’ room.  Do you want to take a guess what it’s covered in?

Charger came into our bedroom right before it was time for them to go to dance class.  His clothes, which were a bright royal blue when he got dressed in the morning, were now a dusky gray.  My first reaction was panic – the first thing that ran through my mind was that they had knocked down a structural wall and were covered in insulation…and then I panicked about Night Owl’s asthma…the mind of a mother!

I took a deep breath and asked him what happened.  He replies, “I got dirty!” as he is laughing hysterically.  I asked him with what, and then I smelled him…I had an inkling that our walls were still standing.

We had just gotten back from our summer home in the mountains where it is a good 20-30 degrees cooler than where we live during the school year.  They were hot, and they decided that the best way to cool off was to have a snowstorm.  In their room. With baby powder.

So they had a snowstorm, made an ice skating rink, did some ice skating, and had an awesome time being rascals together.  Epic.

While it was really hard not to react to the mess, the fine particles in the air (I have never used baby powder on them – it was a gift when Puma was a baby wight years ago and I have such a hard time throwing things out “just in case”), we just got them in the car and told them to help us clean up when they got home.

After some thinking, we decided to talk to them about different scenarios.  When would it be okay to make a snowstorm with baby powder?  We decided that the next time they wanted to do this, we would do it outside.

We also asked Night Owl, who so far is the instigator of these crazy ideas (we have SO many stories…I may tell you about the “ice ship” if we ever get around to telling more stories), to please talk to us first, so that we can help him execute his ideas as safely as possible, and with minimal indoor clean-up required!

In case you like these affirmations and would like a pretty, peaceful picture, here is another version that you can download:

Slide09

 

Wishing you a great week!

How do you handle it when your kiddos get “creative”?

International Babywearing Week 2013

It’s International Babywearing Week!  Time to have carrier envy over here!!  There is just no possible way to have one of every beautiful carrier we saw at MommyCon yesterday…O My Gosh!  Talk about incredible and eye candy…awesome products by awesome people!!

If you are in the Phoenix area, be sure to check out our Upcoming Events list on Sweet Pea Births this week – Babywearing International of Phoenix has events planned all week long.  The Sweet Pea group donated logo wear and an autographed copy of Natural Childbirth Exercises by Rhondda Hartman, RN for The Main Event! raffle…hope to see you there!

Why do you babywear??

Attachment Parenting: Feeding With Love and Respect

I am so glad to be back in the area to take advantage of all the wonderful support groups the Phoenix area has to offer.  Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend the Attachment Parenting International meeting in Chandler.  The topic was “Feeding with Love and Respect”, based on that principle of attachment parenting.

Here are some of the ideas presented by Amanda, the API leader:

  • Feeding is about more than giving them food – it is an exchange of love between parent and child when you consider the time it takes to prepare and serve
  • Breastfeeding is the method that promotes the most bonding: closeness in proximity, it provides warm nourishment on cue, meets baby’s needs while meeting mom’s needs
  • Bottle-feeding can be AP, too: Keep your baby close, feed in your lap, make eye-contact: preserve what you can from the breastfeeding experience even when breastfeeding isn’t an option
  • As your child grows, there is definitely a decision to be made about making food at home versus purchasing processed food in the stores.

She made an interesting point that I had not thought about:  when we start solids, we literally start moving our child away from us.  Up to this point, all their food has come from mother and/or in proximity to a care giver.  Once they start being fed solids, children are usually set in a chair away from us.  It is not unusual for children to crave closeness and want to eat in your lap, which is exactly what Otter wants to do more often than not, especially when we are eating out.

Now I get it – she is in a strange place around people she knows are not in our family, eating a meal.  Mealtimes for her are usually at home, around our table, with people we know – no wonder a restaurant makes her want to be close to mama!! I will totally embrace her instead of hesitating to give her my lap space when we are supposed to be “eating out”.  It is totally appropriate for her to find comfort in my lap, because that has been and still is her “safe space”. She knows she is loved and safe when she is in my embrace.

Amanda also talked about weaning…she did say that AP teaches to offer breastmilk first (up to a year-old), and then to offer solid food.  There may come a point when baby totally bypasses you and goes straight to the table.  That is okay, too; it is honoring the child who does not want breastmilk at that instant.

We also had the pleasure of hearing Blue Russ share her perspective on food with the group.  Here are some interesting statistics she shared:
90% of the food in grocery stores is processed
If you think about it, we are advertised to almost every waking moment by billboard signs, computer banner ads, television ads and the radio.

She encouraged us to let go of any guilt that we have associated with our food choices, and instead, look at the choices we are making and accepting them as the choices that work for us in this time and space.  She reminded us that our children learn about food from us – they taste the flavors delivered in our breastmilk, they watch the choices we make, they learn our rhythm of life.  If we want them to learn healthy habits, then we have to live the habits we want them to learn.  Among them, to let go of any shame, guilt, blame and stress that we feel about food.

We have all been there – we are in a rush, we need to go, and we make the choice to go through the drive-through instead of feeding the food we “should” be eating.  One mama had a great perspective to share: she tried to remember it was more important to feed herself than go hungry, and that the opportunity to make a better choice existed in the future.

Blue invited us to look at the connections between our lifestyle, stressors, and our choices.  Could we see any correlations?  If we wanted to make changes, she encouraged us to look again at this day – just today.  What was one thing we could do, what decision would we make, to support the choices for a healthier lifestyle?

Here are some of the time-saving ideas shared in the group to help us eat well when we all feel the crunch of time:

  • Wash, dry and cut a bulk quantity of greens and/or other vegetables.  Then freeze them in meal size portions so that all you have to do is cook them when you are ready to eat them.  The question came up about freezing greens – yes you can! (think frozen spinach, or see top image)
  • Prepare a large quantity of main dish meals that can be augmented with sides for dinner.  Eat your portion one night, and freeze the rest in dinner size portions for later.
  • Make a stock soup in large quantities – use broth for enriching rice or pasta.  Puree veggies for a veggie soup, serve meat with meals, reserve some broth to re-heat for a quick “to-go” meal that you can drink.
  • Check out THIS link for more info on salad-in-a-jar and The Fresh 20; both time-savers.  The salads make for fresh, healthy convenience food, and The Fresh 20 is a planning/prep guideline that calls for one shopping/prep day and easy dinners on meal nights.
  • Prepare a week’s worth of food, and cut-up and label snack foods for fresh noshing.  Amanda makes a pasta salad that can be eaten cold for her anyone in her family to eat anytime, while staying out of her labeled items to be used later in the week for meals.

We also talked a little about how we prepare food.  One mama does Reiki over it before preparing/eating.  I shared that I say a prayer for God to bless our minds, our bodies and our souls with the food he has provided for us before I make a meal (especially when the meal is a gift to another recipient).  Basically, the idea was to prepare food with intention, because that is also part of feeding with love and respect…pouring our love into every action, including meal preparation, that will directly or indirectly be affecting our children.

In the Mexican tradition, we have a saying that if we are angry when we are preparing a meal, our food will be spicier.  Do you have any traditional beliefs about food in your family?  How about time-saving tips?  Any thoughts to share on the topic?