Category Archives: Toddlers

Tuesday Tip: Play is Learning

As we get ready to go “back to school” in our home, we face a unique situation where we only have one child who isn’t being “schooled” with a curriculum.  However, every day is a school day when you realize that every interaction, every activity is a learning opportunity for your toddler.

Here are five ideas pulled from THIS article – these are the ones that we are trying to remember to use – we have the supplies…now to pull them out and enjoy them with Otter, and all the other kiddos, for that matter.

5. Provide puzzles, oversize wooden beads for stringing, blocks and other toys. (My note: great for spatial relationships, counting, sorting, hand-eye coordination when you string, cause & effect when you build and topple.)

6. Provide drawing and art materials to help your child develop pre-writing skills. (My note: great for developing gross- and fine-motor skills.  Also sense of touch if you use different textures of paper.)

7. Encourage pretend play such as “Let’s pretend we’re going to the store.” (My note: this is a perfect opportunity to engage older children.  Puma really enjoys playing store, so I can leave the set-up to her, and Otter and I can be her shoppers.  The two most common themes are Farmer’s Market and Pet Store – LOL.  Added bonus: Puma practices her math when she makes change!)

8. Play rhyming games to help your child notice similar sounds.  (My note: being a bi-lingual family, there are ample opportunities to do this.  So far we rhyme English to English and Spanish to Spanish.  Maybe we will expand to cross-lingual rhyming this year!  We definitely can add more rhyme time to every day…also a great opportunity to practice our sign language if we sign the rhyming words.)

9. Ask your child questions that encourage creative thought (“What do you think about …”).  (My note:  This one we have to incorporate…such a great idea can’t believe we have missed this one!!)

Read the complete 10-point list HERE

So as we strive to do more “play” and passive learning for Otter, it’s time to dig out our Discovery Toys and pull the chunky puzzles down from the shelf!  The bright colors engage her, and usually her siblings, too!  I love this line because you can replace lost parts…a gift when you can’t stand playing with incomplete sets (my little OCD challenge!).

I also take the time to cull our books every season and make sure fresh chunky books are on the lower shelves for Otter and Charger, and highlight the ones that are seasonal.  Some of our faves are from Barefoot Books – great Spanish selection and sing-along books.  We also make sure that any books that are on-subject for the older kiddos find their way to the schoolroom for that week’s focus.  I find that rotating our book collection keeps things fresh for all of us!

A staple in our school space is an easel and watercolors with cups and paintbrushes.  Every morning I refresh it with paper and make sure we have clean brushes.  The water filling I leave to the kiddos – good sensory activity and practice moving liquids!  It gets a little messy however I think the lesson is worth it.

We also started an “art station” in the kitchen the last few weeks of school last Spring.  Anyone else love doing art in the kitchen??  The sink is right there 🙂

I rotated the activity every week (stickers, stamps, crayons, markers, gluing, cutting and pasting, etc.).  It gave the kiddos a “play” activity to do while they waited for their meal, and it also allowed me to work in one (or more) art activity into the day.  We will be doing this again this school season.  Please send along any “center” ideas that we can set up in the kitchen – we will need some inspiration in a few weeks when we run through our standbys!

What do you think? Do you think you take enough time to play with your children?  I know I don’t, and that is something I am working on as I strive to add more breath to our days.

 

Extended Breastfeeding

Your baby is already past their first birthday…and the questions from “well-meaning” family and friends have started…

I needed this reminder today…Otter is almost 23 months old…and still nursing, and still very much wanting to nurse as needed…which means out of the home. I am guessing that I am going to grow again. I took heart from THIS article by Dr. Sears and I hope you will, too.

Quick quote from today’s link:
“Science is on your side. I have read many medical journals with articles proving the long-term health benefits of breastfeeding. The incidence of many illnesses, both childhood and adult, are lowered by breastfeeding  — diabetes, heart disease, and central nervous system degenerative disorders (such as multiple sclerosis) to name a few. The most fascinating studies show that the longer and more frequently a mom nurses her baby, the smarter her child is likely to become. The brain grows more during the first two years of life than any other time, nearly tripling in size from birth to two years of age. It’s clearly a crucial time for brain development, and the intellectual advantage breastfed babies enjoy is attributed to the “smart fats” unique to mom’s breast milk (namely, omega-3 fatty acid, also known as DHA). From head to toe, babies who breastfeed for extended periods of time are healthier overall. They tend to have leaner bodies with less risk of obesity. They also have improved vision, since the eye is similar to the brain in regards to nervous tissue. They have better hearing due to a lower incidence of ear infections. Their dental health is generally good, since the natural sucking action of the breastfed infant helps incoming teeth align properly. Intestinal health is also much better than those of non-breastfed babies, as breast milk is easier to digest, reducing spit-up, reflux, and constipation. A toddler’s immune system functions much better since breastmilk contains an immunoglobulin (IGA) which coats the lining of the intestines, which helps prevent germs from penetrating through. Even the skin of these babies is smoother and more supple.”

Need more reasons to stand firm in your decision to continue breastfeeding past your child’s first birthday?  Read the whole article from Dr. Sears HERE

Thoughtful Thursday: On Being “That” Mom

me taking the 1,456th pictures of my son & I, can't get enough of him!

me taking the 1,456th pictures of my son & I – can’t get enough of him!

 

 

Happy Thursday! Today I thought I would share some random thoughts about mama-hood that are always bouncing around my head. Specifically about stereotypes and being “that” mom.

The mom that always gets funny looks & sideways glances, at the park, at toddler classes, at the museum, at restaurants. I am definitely “that” mom.

“That” Mom whose child always has snot/drool/etc. on his face

T gets a runny nose with every set of teeth that come in, it has happened every single time since his first set at 5 ½ months. I know it is due to his teeth and sometimes even progresses to a cough. Read more about that here. I know he isn’t “sick” and I follow his cues on if we need to stay home, take it easy, or go about with our normal activities. In addition to that, I try really hard every day to respect my son’s body and space. I allow him to wipe his own face and recently his dad taught him to blow his nose, yes it is not as efficient as me holding him and doing a rough swoop to get everything but when/if it bothers him, he knows how to take care of it himself.

“That” Mom who is always super late

Living on a toddler‘s timetable is a foolproof way to never get anywhere even remotely on time. T likes to take his time: waking up, getting dressed, eating, going to the bathroom, going to sleep, walking, pretty much everything. He needs natural, organic transitions from one activity to the next and we have a much more harmonious relationship when I provide that. Both of us are happier and working together and it makes for much smoother, calmer days. Do I sometimes feel like my entire life is dictated by what a very small human feels or wants right then? Yes. Is it hard to deal with sometimes? Yes. But in reality, that is my life. Right now, my entire days revolve around facilitating my son’s journey; it is a very short period in what I hope to be a very long life for him, so yes, he most often decides when.

“That” Mom who always has stuff on her clothes

Yes, I am a mess everyday. I walk and bike where we need to go and am often sweaty. I always sit on the ground with my son and inevitably get grass, dirt, dew, you name it, on my clothes. My son is also a “nibbler”. He has food out all day long (and snacks when we are out and about) and alternates between playing and eating and checking in with me for a hug, kiss, pick up, nursing and whatever is on his hands always ends up on my shirt, pants, or in my hair. If it’s not that, it’s one of the above that is now a permanent stain. At a point in the future, parenting will be much more hands off, and maybe then I will manage to keep myself clean. I parallel it with the quote by Mary Randolph Carter that “A perfectly kept house is the sign of a misspent life”. My clothes are definitely representative of all the “living” we have done that day.

‘”That” Mom who treats her toddler “like a baby”

I wear my son in a front carry most places we go. I am almost always hugging him, cuddling him, kissing him, or just rubbing his back while he sits in my lap. He sleeps in our family bed for naps and nighttime. I nurse him whenever he wants and if he wants my attention or me close by, I give it to him. He amazes me almost daily with how much he knows, understands, comprehends, and observes for someone so young. He is definitely a little person of his own, and far from having the dependant nature of an infant that only knows being close to mama, breastfeeding, and touch, but he still enjoys those things, and in my opinion, at this point they are nothing but beneficial. He will grow up and be his own, independent being, but as of now he has only been on this earth for 17 months of what will hopefully be 100+ years. In the grand scheme of things, he is still a baby.

“That” Mom who is always talking about her child

Being a mama is my job right now, and I take it very seriously. So yes, I pretty much only talk about my work. And yes, I can tell you are not that interested but it’s my life and it is pretty all consuming for me. I also am just so obsessed with my son; he is the best.

“That” Mom who never tells her child no

I was explaining “gentle hands” to T after he was hitting me the other week and another parent I was talking with commented, “Gentle hands? Does that actually work? Doesn’t he know what ‘no’ means?”

I choose to always explain why or how we do things with T. Regardless of whether or not it is most effective immediately, I believe it is the right way to interact with him and will yield the most positive behavioral results in the long run.

It has been a crazy journey thus far, but as of now I have really embraced what kind of mama I am. I find myself being less and less self conscious about all of the things above as time passes too. Mostly, it has been a lesson for me in not judging, not labeling, and not isolating myself because some people choose to do things differently. No matter what kind of mom I am, I am trying my hardest everyday and that is all that matters. Funny looks, comments, and my own insecurities aside, I try to remind myself of that as often as I can.

There is also no greater feeling than being surrounding by other mamas who support, uplift, and laugh with you no matter *what* kind of mom you are that day. Finding our tribe in Arizona was invaluable to me that first year, we are still working on finding our perfect place here in California <3

Share your thoughts with us! How do you see yourself in your role as mom? How do other people see you? Has being a mom made you less prone to judging others?? I love hearing other mamas stories and perspectives!

A Day in the Life of… SAHM + 17 Month Old

A Day in the Life Of: SAHM & The 17 Month Old

Life has been a crazy roller coaster for our entire family since pretty much the week my son was born last March 2012, he arrived over three weeks later than we expected and we needed to be moved out of our apartment 8 days later. Since that move we have moved five (!!!!) more times but have currently been situated in our present (and hopefully permanent) town for a month now. In that month we have gotten down a pretty good routine, one that feels that it will stick around for a while, so I thought I would share what a typical day looks like for us.

8:00-9:00AM Wake Up!

T nurses throughout the entire night and is a very light sleeper. In the early morning hours he nurses the most but rolls around and keeps his eyes closed. He is not ready to start the day until 8 or 9, sometimes later. He will open his eyes and smile at me or stick out his tongue and laugh and our day has officially begun!

We get out of bed and head to the bathroom. T gets his pajama pants and crazy full nighttime diaper taken off and sits on his potty. I wash my face, brush my teeth, and get some light makeup on. Thresh sits on the counter & splashes his feet in the sink and plays with his toothbrush and makeup brushes I have set aside just for him. He helps brush my hair and sometimes throws a million Q-tips all over the bathroom floor.

a look of sheer joy for finding the roll of TP that is usually out of his reach, great for using the toilet and brushing my teeth!

a look of sheer joy for finding the roll of TP that is usually out of his reach, great for allowing me to use the toilet and brushing my teeth!

Next, we pick out his clothes for the day, put a fresh new diaper on, and then I dress him.

9:30AM Breakfast

T gets cut up fruit from the farmer’s market and then either some leftovers from the previous night’s dinner, scrambled egg, pancake, French toast, beans, bread with almond butter, or a homemade muffin of some sort. I like to give a lot of choices and switch things up but everything is very basic and whole food.

a sample of T's placemat: blueberries, strawberries, grapes, black beans & corn, chickpeas, tomatoes, & yellow carrots.

a sample of T’s plate: blueberries, strawberries, grapes, black beans & corn, chickpeas, tomatoes, & yellow carrots with a side of water 🙂 Green Sprouts Placemat

While he is busy eating I make my coffee and get dressed as fast as possible. I don’t know what it is about getting dressed but it is a sure fire way to make T hold on to my leg and scream or whine or just need something from me right then while I have no pants on or something equally as inconvenient.

There is usually a few books requested and read throughout the morning too, cannot forget the books. Just once is never ok; “more” is the most used sign in our house by far.

morning reads.

morning reads.

10:00AM Head Out

Each day’s morning activity is a little bit different but we are usually always out of the house around this time.

Monday: Rotates

Tuesday: Age Related Class at Parent’s Place

Wednesday: Tots in Motion

Thursday: Story time at our local library

Friday: Art & Food Class

Mondays (& sometimes Wednesdays) we rotate with different things around town. Sometimes we will bike to the mall if I need to pick something, it is outdoors and T loves running around and playing by the fountain and doing the stairs. We also walk or bike to various beaches and playgrounds.

our bike riding set up - walking is easier but our bike allows us to cover more distance! (this was just a test ride, I always wear a helmet & do not bike in dresses typically haha)

our bike riding set up – walking is easier but our bike allows us to cover more distance! (this was just a test ride, I always wear a helmet & do not bike in dresses typically haha)

exploring at the beach this day.

exploring at the beach this day.

12:00PM Errands

Since we are out and about I will make a quick stop anywhere I might need like the post office or market, return library books, pop into the children’s consignment store to see if they have any “new” goods, etc. T usually wants to walk some of the way home and we stop to enjoy many plants and dogs and birds a long the way.

stopping at the park on the way home & taking some selfless :)

stopping at the park on the way home & taking some selfies (:

1:00PM Lunch & Play

We are home and I assemble T some more food, he has had some sort of snack while we were out and about but now hopefully he will eat some more and fill himself up a bit before nap time. Dinner leftovers, bean salad, roasted veggies, quinoa, lentils, more fruit, olives, cheese, and hummus make appearances often.

lunch today: blueberries, leftover chicken quinoa, and more black beans & corn

lunch today: blueberries, leftover chicken quinoa, and more black beans & corn

We read more books and sometimes play outside and if T is particularly engaged in his toys/play room I try to prep anything I can for dinner that night.

some lunch time play

some lunch time play

2:00 PM Naptime

There is usually a semi meltdown or at least some clingy-ness and/or whining around this time so we head to the bedroom for a new diaper, close the blinds, put on the white noise and lay down together to nurse to sleep.

Once T is sleeping I sneak out and do a quick clean up of the place, throw in some laundry or finish what dinner prep I was doing earlier, make a snack for myself, and work on the computer.

T usually wakes around 3PM and if I catch him quickly enough can nurse him back down for another half hour or hour. Sometimes I lay with him and read or work on my phone.

4:00PM Afternoon Adventures

T is awake and ready to party! I offer him more food when he wakes up and he will usually eat quite a bit. Then we read lots of books, play in his teepee and playroom and pretty quickly it is time to head outside.

awake & enjoying his playroom, searching for the perfect read

awake & enjoying his playroom, searching for the perfect read

On Mondays we walk down to the farmer’s market and finish our shopping for the week and Tuesdays we walk to pick up our CSA seafood delivery. We play with the neighbor’s dog; play with balls in the street, go on wagon rides, walk through the forest near our house, dig in the dirt in the backyard, and find other things to explore in our neighborhood.

off to pick up our CSA Fish share on a Tuesday afternoon

off to pick up our CSA Fish share on a Tuesday afternoon

6:00PM Dinner Prep

It is hard getting T back inside but usually I manage somehow and enlist his help in starting dinner. He hangs out in his learning tower throwing anything and everything onto the ground, plays in the sink, bangs together some dishes, samples whatever I am putting together, and the like. Sometimes he takes all of the garbage bags out from under the sink, all of the mason jar lids out of the drawer, bangs measuring cups together, empties the pantry, stacks muffin liners, and other various kitchen shenanigans. He gets frustrated easily during this time and wants my full attention and I usually don’t get very far into my cooking.

using the learning tower to help wash some dishes

using the learning tower to help wash some dishes

6:30PM Daddy is home!

My husband is usually home by 6:30 and is greeted by a squealing T who immediately runs outside to greet him and to partake in one of his favorite activities, playing in the car (we only have the one car my husband takes to work every day). He climbs in and pushes a million buttons, plays music, etc. etc. etc. while I finish up dinner, yes!

dinner prep: note all the different bowls, etc. I do a little bit at a time throughout the day, this was right before it was going into the pan. Pictured is the chicken fried quinoa from a couple of nights ago.

dinner prep: note all the different bowls, etc. I do a little bit at a time throughout the day, this was right before it was going into the pan. Pictured is the chicken fried quinoa from a couple of nights ago.

7:00PM Eat, Clean, Play

We eat together while T tries to convince us to read books or take him outside and we try to coerce him into having a couple more bites. I clean the kitchen and my husband takes over playtime. They wrestle, read books, and play outside. I am exhausted at this point; there is almost always wine with my kitchen cleaning.

8:30PM Wind Down

There is usually some eye rubbing or yawning, but T fights his sleepy urges to the death. We take the opportunity to put on a nighttime diaper, pajamas, and turn all of the lights down low. T is not loving baths these days so we have been skipping them and every so often do a quick sink bath, he goes back and forth between bath loving and bath hating. I need to get some new bath toys, bath books, and glow sticks – I have heard glow sticks will turn the most avid toddler bath haters around! We all stay in our bedroom and read books, play around in bed, snuggle, laugh, and just marvel at how much personality this small human that is part of our family has.

9:00/9:30PM Lights Out

T usually isn’t ready to call it a night until about 9:00 or 9:30. We turn off the final light and lay down to nurse to sleep. Sometimes it’s easy, and sometimes he gets up at least 43 more times before he finally drifts off. I have thrown all expectations out the window and never “plan” anything for after bedtime. T is so unpredictable and half the time I fall asleep before or when he does. If I do happen to stay awake, I sneak off and eat some cookies or chocolate or drink more wine and work on the computer or read or fold laundry.

It is a simple life, but it is a great one.

What does your routine look like with your little one(s)? Do you find yourself taking it slower at different ages? I would love to hear what everyone does, we are always looking for new things to keep ourselves busy!

Tandem Nursing…Extended

breastfeedingcafecarnivalWelcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about breastfeeding multiple children. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 22nd through August 4th!

I got pregnant with our third child much sooner than we expected, and because I was having contractions every time we breastfed, my doctor recommended that I stop breastfeeding.  She told me that my body was responding appropriately to the oxytocin that is produced every time I nursed, and that my body could spontaneously abort the pregnancy if I didn’t stop.

I was heartbroken because of all our children, our second child really needed the benefits of extended breastfeeding.  He has had food allergies since birth, and on top of that, he had an episode of RSV as an infant that left him with symptoms of asthma.  He definitely could have used the extra immunity and nutrition of toddler feeding.  However, since we had already had one miscarriage, I knew I would regret another one.   We weaned within a week of deciding to preserve the pregnancy.

After our third child was born, I began the process to become a childbirth educator.  As part of my training, I had to attend two La Leche League meetings.  At one of the meetings, I met a mom who was in her third trimester and still nursing her toddler.  After the initial shock and heartbreak, I pulled myself together and started asking her questions.  Did she have contractions when she nursed?  Was it uncomfortable?  What had her doctor said?  I learned that nursing through the pregnancy had been possible for her, so that was one sliver of hope that maybe I wouldn’t have to do an emergency weaning if I got pregnant again.

As a childbirth educator, I also got more involved with our local birth community.  Thanks to the different events around birth and breastfeeding, I kept running into a mama who nursed through her pregnancies and was nursing a toddler as well as her infant!  Not just one nursling, but two at a time!!  Wow!  This really opened my eyes to the possibility of nursing past the second birthday.  Here was living proof that tandem nursing was not just for twins.  Tandem nursing could also apply to siblings of different ages.

Empowered by these examples, I was determined to at least try to nurse through a pregnancy.  I was hoping I would get to be a tandem-nursing mama, however a safe pregnancy was first and foremost in my mind.  My original goal was to allow our child and I to determine the end of our breastfeeding relationship together. From the anecdotal stories I had heard about pregnancy and breastfeeding, I figured one of two things would happen.  Either our third child would stop nursing if and when the milk changed flavor after the pregnancy was established, or that he would lose interest once the milk dried up or changed to colostrum.

We got pregnant again when our third was 18 months old.  Just as before, I would start feeling contractions when he nursed.  Instead of worrying this time, I reminded myself that I knew two women who had nursed through pregnancies.  I held onto the idea that if they could do it, so could I.  When I felt contractions as I nursed, I started doing self-talk with my body and our baby.  I would repeat this mantra:  “Everything is okay.  Baby, you are safe.  These contractions are making milk.  Stay safe inside. I love you.” It know it might sound a little crazy, and am in no way suggesting that this will work for everyone.   However, it did work for me. I was grateful the relaxation and the calm frame of mind let me accomplish our goal.

Well, much to my surprise, I neared the end of my pregnancy and I still had a nursling.  Now he was two years old.  I could see that I had colostrum – and I could smell that it was salty.  I asked our child, “Are you sure you still want to nurse,” to which he emphatically shook his head, “yes,” and continued on.

Besides the mama examples, I credit my success in tandem nursing to the support from my local La Leche League chapter.  One of the leaders had nursed an infant and a toddler and she told me what to expect.  She also told me how to handle inquiries about the amount of nutrients for each child.  Here is what I learned:

  1. Once my milk came in, it was going to be like sweet cream for my toddler and to expect a new surge of interest.
  2. Set firm expectations with our toddler – when we would be breastfeeding, and how was that time going to work: feed the children together, feed them independently, would there be specific places that would be our nursing locations?  Once I set those parameters, try to stick to them since consistency works well with toddlers.
  3. Feed the baby first – she suggested making that a non-negotiable.  She also suggested to get my partner’s buy-in on that.  With both of us reminding our toddler that the baby nursed first, and my partner helping him wait patiently, we could be sure that the baby was going to get the nourishment she needed and that her needs were met before we traded the kiddos.
  4. I read and sent these two resources to a family member, who was very concerned about tandem nursing and the baby getting enough of the milk that she needed.  It came up in almost every conversation as the due date approached.  HERE is an article from the La Leche League website (they have since added THIS collection of links to their site), and HERE is another great link list from the trusted KellyMom page.

By educating myself on the possibility of nursing through a pregnancy, and preparing myself for tandem breastfeeding, I was able to accomplish my goal…I was allowing our child to determine his weaning schedule.  I was honoring his need to breastfeed, and I was not feeling any remorse about the choices I made.  We welcomed a healthy daughter in October of 2011, and I have been breastfeeding both children since then.

Yes, both.  As it turns out, I did more than accomplish my goal of simply nursing through a pregnancy.  I did get to be a tandem-nursing mama, and for a lot longer than I expected.  He is going to turn four tomorrow.  I can now say I am an extended breastfeeding mama.

I stopped nursing in public with our toddler as my pregnancy progressed.  I found it very hard to get comfortable as my belly grew, besides the fact I had two other children to keep track of.  Other than making the decision to nurse at home, I didn’t think anything of nursing a two-year old.

Then his third birthday came and went.  He was only nursing in the morning or at night, sometimes for a nap.  I started to wonder what house guests would think, and at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter.  The relationship has still been beneficial to both of us.

He is one of our healthiest children – any cold he does get passes quickly and without incidence.  Last winter, his younger sister went on a nursing strike.  With his help, I was able to keep my supply up between his nursing and some hand expression.  He got a nasty stomach bug this spring – while it lasted 24-48 hours in the rest of us, he and his little sister only had it for a few hours.  Recently, he caught a cough that was going around.  As an experiment, I increased his breastfeeding – it seemed to help!

It has been a quandary.  While it has been great to increase the amount he nurses under beneficial circumstances, in the back of my mind I worry about sending him the wrong message.  While I treasure being a source of nourishment and antibodies, I feel like it is important for him to start finding other coping mechanisms as he turns four.  While I can never replace the health benefits of nursing, I have to trust that he has a well-developed immune system that can cope well enough without breastmilk.

In the last two weeks, I have definitely started to see a decrease in his interest to nurse.  Part of it has been the message my husband and I have been relaying to him.  We remind him he is going to be four, and we wanted him to start finding other ways to self-soothe when he was tired or upset.  We agreed that it was important to expand his repertoire of coping techniques.  I also think part of it is the natural weaning – although he still asks, he nurses for literally 60 seconds, and then he is off and running in a different direction.

I am finally going public with our extended breastfeeding story because it may help another mama look at her choices with more confidence, or maybe even consider extended nursing as a possibility.  I want other mamas to know they are not alone if they want to breastfeed through a pregnancy.  I want to lend courage to another mama who may feel pressure to wean a toddler although she and her nursling might not be ready.  My favorite idea that has guided me through this extended breastfeeding relationship is from our La Leche League group: Breastfeeding is a dance.  Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.

My extension to that thought:  You continue the dance as long as it is mutually beneficial.  When one of you is ready to stop dancing, you honor each other with a mutually peaceful and loving transition.

Wishing you breastfeeding mamas a beautiful dance with your nurslings!  Enjoy the dance in the moment.  When the music ends and it’s time to clear the floor, I hope you leave the floor with happy memories.  Go forward with the knowledge that you and your child will continue to be a great team as you move onto the next chapter of your relationship.

 

 

 
Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Cooking with Sweet Pea Kids

We have been moving towards a whole food diet since Night Owl presented with food allergies as an infant.  The food that is easy to throw into the grocery cart for most families is not an option for us.  He is allergic to wheat (gluten), eggs, peanuts, coconut, hazelnuts, soy, watermelon, sugar, food dyes – all the prepackaged conventional snacks and treats are out for us.  People see that list and they feel sorry for us; they wonder out loud what there is that we can eat.

Answer:  Everything else.  I adjusted my outlook from despair at all the things he was allergic to…I had those moments when I wondered if we were ever going to eat “normally” again.  Now I look at it this way: those are only 8 foods/groups in the wide world of food.  We can eat millet, rice, corn, and quinoa based carb foods.  He can eat potatoes.  He can eat all the rest of the fruits and vegetables.  I looked it up…he has between 1,000 to 2,000 to choose from, depending on how you categorize the list.  Puma presented with the gluten allergy two years ago, so we made the switch to a gluten-free pantry and pretty much never looked back.

It has been the best thing that has happened to our family.  While some people struggle to make that transition from processed junk food and empty calories, our bigger challenge is how to change it up with the seasons.  How do we ensure that our kiddos have the best organic and conventional produce to choose from so that we save money and eat well at the same time?

With a little menu planning and information about produce, it’s actually very do-able.  We use the EWG’s Dirty Dozen and Clean Fifteen lists to decide which produce to buy organic and which crops to buy conventional.  We look through our cookbooks and find recipes that fit in with the ingredients that are in line with produce that is in season.  Now we are ready to make our shopping list for the farmer’s market and our local grocery store.

Here are our favorite cookbooks.  We have found that by working together as a family to choose recipes, the kiddos are vested in eating the food they help to prepare.  By allowing them to choose which recipes to try, there is a higher likelihood that they will taste the food that is served at mealtimes.

Superfoods for Babies and Children by Annabel Karmel

Superfoods for Babies and Children by Annabel Karmel

This is one of my favorite books for first foods.  Puma didn’t start solids until she was 11 months old – at her age, we used a food mill to grind up whatever we were eating and she ate on her own soon after that.  Since she pretty much started with whole foods, this was a great guide to help me design a plan for introducing solids.  We still use it today since there are a lot of whole food recipes that do not include Night Owl’s allergy foods, and the ones that do are easily modified.  One of our favorite recipes is the Broccoli Mac & Cheese.

Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld

Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld

Here is another favorite as families learn to eat first foods and beyond.  I made my own baby food for NIght Owl, and then followed suit with Charger.  Since I was making purees to feed the boys, I used them in the rest of our dishes to add flavor and nutrients.  Our favorite recipe in here is the spinach and carrot “infused” brownies.  I still use the tip of mixing purees into tomato sauces – that red hides just about everything.  Since we are not pureeing anymore, I do shred our fresh market vegetables into the sauce and simmer it on the stove.  The house smells amazing, and I watch with delight at mealtime as Sweet Pea Kids (and Dad!) lick their plates clean.

Weelicious by Catherine McCord

Weelicious by Catherine McCord

This has been Puma’s favorite book, as you can see by all the pages we have marked.  We are stuck on the Apple-Cinnamon pancake recipe – life-changing!  It was easily modified for our gluten-free, egg-free kitchen, and we have experimented with different fruits and add-ins.  It is by far Sweet Pea Dad’s favorite pancake recipe *ever*.  He, more than anyone, laments the shift to the gluten-free lifestyle.  We have also made some of the soup recipes, and are slowly working through the rest of the recipes we have marked to try out this summer.

Kid's Kitchen Cards from Barefoot Books

Kid’s Kitchen Cards from Barefoot Books

These are a brilliant concept from Barefoot Books.  There are 40 boardbook-type recipe cards with an illustration and ingredients on the front, and the instructions on the back.  Each of the kiddos can take turns choosing a card and deciding what to try for a snack or a main course.  Our favorite find in this stack has been the fruit kebabs.

Sweet Pea Families: Cooking with Sweet Pea Kids

The Vegetarian Family Cookbook by Nava Atlas

This is the last book that makes the trip with us pretty much wherever we are going to stay for a while.  After watching the documentary “Forks Over Knives” this year, one of my goals is to have at least one vegetarian family meal every day.  I have been vegetarian for 13 years now.  Sweet Pea Kids have been vegetarian until their first birthday, and then they eat meat as it appeals to them.  After seeing the devastating effects of meat and current practices around the meat industry, I am more mindful of teaching our children that meat is not necessarily a staple at every meal.  They are learning more about healthy protein options…here is my proud mama moment from last week:

Night Owl eating out - nothing on the menu appealed to him, so he ordered his own smorgasbord for lunch!

Night Owl eating out – nothing on the menu appealed to him, so he ordered his own smorgasbord for lunch!

Bon appetite!  I would love to hear your  tips and tricks for engaging your children in healthy eating – what does your family do?

Sweet Pea Kiddos eating a healthy, whole food snack. Sliced fresh fruit, vegetarian cheese, and raw cashews

Sweet Pea Kiddos eating a healthy, whole food snack. Sliced fresh fruit, vegetarian cheese, and raw cashews

Child Spacing: Pregnancy #2 & Beyond

 

Before my son, T, was born I wanted four or five children. I loved pregnancy and couldn’t wait to experience it again and again. Giving birth was a little bit harder; post partum recovery was a doozy and taking care of a newborn, oh. my. goodness. I swore off having any more babies’ f o r e v e r.

About a year later, amidst tons of dirty diapers, still waking at all hours of the night, and breastfeeding on demand, I began to see sets of siblings running around.  Lo and behold, my empty uterus began to ache. I figured I was elbows deep in the full-time, always-on mom mode and I might as well have two babies! The first year is the hardest, it really does go by quick, having them close in age will be difficult but rewarding and let’s just doooo iiiitttt! 🙂 After stopping to think about it more though there really is a lot of additional things to consider. I figured I would share the different factors we looked at and what we found.

Fertility: During months 3, 4, and 5 post partum it seemed my cycle was trying to return, it never quite made it though and since then there have been no indications at all that my body is ovulating, I am now 16 months post partum, 26 months since my last menses! For some women fertility during breastfeeding is not an issue, but for many it is. I also don’t know how comfortable I am getting pregnant on the very first or even second or third cycles post baby – in my mind my body is still getting used to and figuring out my new hormone levels and for me personally I think I would like a few “trial” runs before the real deal, to me it seems that this would lead to more optimal conditions and a greater chance of a successful, healthy pregnancy. In order to “try” for another child I would have to take measures of increasing my fertility, either with herbs, acupuncture, yoga, meditation, etc. to guide my body to do something it isn’t entirely ready to do on it’s own. Often times the body needs help in certain areas of functionality and I am definitely ok with that, but not sure it is the right time to enlist this help just yet. Another way to help increase fertility would be to cut back on nursing, which leads right in to my next topic of consideration…

Breastfeeding/Weaning: Most of what I have read says fertility increases in women enough to stimulate ovulation when babies/children are no longer nursing at night and if not then, more than likely when nursing is down to 2-4 times a day or there is a four hour period between nursing sessions. My son nurses constantly, we night weaned for a bit but now are back to night nursing and mostly nursing on demand during the day as well. He uses nursing as a huge comfort tool and often just “checks in” with me for a few quick sucks and then is back doing whatever he was concentrating on previously. We had a brief encounter at 14 months with sudden weaning when I wished to stop nursing altogether, but now at 16 months I am hoping for child led or natural weaning. Which, let’s be real, probably won’t be until at least two and I would be willing to bet actually much longer. After talking with my husband, paying attention to T’s desires, habits, and needs, and self-reflecting we, personally, are not comfortable weaning our first baby in order to conceive a second baby.

With that being said though, I am really not keen on nursing through pregnancy or tandem nursing. Pregnancy took a lot from me, pregnancy #2 will be even more physically demanding due to caring for and chasing after a toddler. I know myself and do not want to start resenting my nursing toddler while I am tired, hormonal, and not in my usual state of mind. I also know that those first weeks and months of caring for a newborn are extremely hard for me physically and emotionally and I believe we will all have the best shot at surviving as harmoniously as possible if only the new baby is nursing. So do we allow T to entirely self wean and then start ‘trying’ for a sibling? They could be 4, 5, 6 years apart on that path. At this point I feel like I am definitely over thinking things, so what do the facts say? What actually happens in the most natural of settings? For this I look to research of primal/rural cultures…

Natural Child Spacing & Rural Populations: Most rural populations practice ecological breastfeeding, very similar to what my son & I do. This practice is said to delay the return of menses until 14.6 months on average, with most women conceiving again between 18 & 30 months post partum.When studying rural women in Rwanda who do not use contraception it was found that 75% of mothers conceived between 24 & 29 months post partum. Studies conducted among Kung¡ women show they naturally conceive again around 35 months post partum. There is also evidence that waiting to conceive until at least 18 to 23 months from your last pregnancy produces better outcomes for baby. There are also various studies that show that as the time between pregnancies goes down, the risk for Autism in subsequent babies goes up.

The Powers of Nature: After reviewing the facts and pondering the many unanswered questions I still had regarding what we should actually do, it was my husband that brought me back down to earth, as he so often does in these types of situations. He explained that we try our hardest to align our lives with how humans once lived. We try to connect with our inner “natural” needs, desires, and treat our bodies as close as we can to the ways in which they thrived for tens of thousands of years prior to more ‘civilized’ conditions. If we trust in our bodies abilities to heal, grow, change, and adapt on it’s own we can trust that they will create children as close or as far apart as is best for all of us. If T is still nursing enough that my body is unable to conceive than neither T nor myself are ready for another baby. When he is nursing an amount small enough for fertility to return than his need is decreasing and he is closer to weaning and closer to being ready for a sibling. Although there can still be many outstanding questions (some I have thrown out above) we believe in the power of nature to guide us through life, birth, death, and conception, family planning, child spacing is no different.

I know that, “letting whatever happens happen” is not a profound conclusion or advice, but I think if there is anything that becoming a parent has taught me it is that there is a large element of control that you have no choice but to give up. For us, it makes sense that this also applies to baby #2. I know not everyone is in the same situation or even has the same factors as us to consider but as of now we are just happy to enjoy our son and meet his needs as best as we can. As day-to-day life changes, we will reflect and readjust accordingly.

What about you, are you thinking about baby number 2 or 3 or more? Did you plan or influence your child spacing? How? I would love to hear your stories and/or input!

Elimination Communication (EC): Tales of a Diaper Free Baby

Posted by Cassandra Okamoto

I first came across Elimination Communication way before I was even pregnant. I read all about it here, here, and here, and after devouring up all of the information, testimonials, FAQ’s and concerns it just made so much sense to me and sounded completely “do-able” whenever we decided to have a child. My husband was definitely not convinced. He was used to me coming to him with “extreme” ideas: Let’s eat vegan! Let’s have a completely vegan life! Let’s eat all raw! Do NOT get the dog his shots! Throw away all of the cleaning products, now! Don’t flush the toilet if it’s just pee! Pee while you shower!

But no diapers on a baby? Potty training an infant? He was definitely skeptical.

Whenever EC comes up in conversation most people do refer to it as “infant potty training” but that really was never what it was about to me, or even it’s appeal. I loved the idea of giving baby an opportunity and space to relieve him/herself and not forcing him/her to sit in wet or soiled diapers unnecessarily, which could be in conflict with his or her natural, instinctual desire. Below is our journey practicing EC with our now 15 month old.

When my son, T, was first born we started cloth diapers pretty soon after and although EC was still on my mind, we were in strict survival mode – washing diapers was all I could manage. Around 14 weeks post partum we were getting in a little better hang of things and I ordered Diaper Free Baby off of Amazon to read up on the specifics of how to implement with my now almost 4 month old.

We started by just letting him be naked on some towels and whenever he would pee or poo I would make the pppppsssssssss sound for him to try & start associating that sound with the sensation of going. Next I would hold him in the squat position over the toilet… he did NOT like this. A lot of the other moms we spent time with regularly that had babies only a couple weeks or months older than my babe were having tons of success with EC in practice and I was determined to keep trying… so the next thing I did was buy the BABYBJORN potty chair.

My son was actually not into this potty either, he wasn’t really able to sit by himself and although we could hold him on it for a few seconds before he started fussing it was never long enough for him to relax enough to go to the bathroom. We “caught” a few pees but that was it…

Baby-led potty-training w/ 16-week old

Baby-led potty-training w/ 16-week old

So after this (when T was 15/16 weeks old) I gave up on EC for a while. I got super sick right after that and my husband and mom were on baby duty for a couple of days and it all kind of went out the window.

But, around the time T was about to turn six months old, I got the itch to start up EC again and it was a whole different experience!

As soon as he would wake up in the morning the first thing we would do is take him to the regular potty, hold him over in the squat position and wait until he peed. He was totally comfortable in that position now & would never fuss!! He would always pee in the morning and then we would do the same after every nap. He almost always went, and we even caught a few poos this way too! I journaled about an after nap EC experience we had during this time that said “you woke up from a long nap kind of fussy (which is rare, you are usually only fussy when you wake up prematurely) so I took your pants & diaper off and went straight to the bathroom and almost immediately you pooed a TON & then peed, wooo hoooo!”

We would still make the ‘pppppppsssssssss’ sound when he was going in hopes that he would start associating that & the squat position with eliminating. I still had not noticed any cues from him: certain faces, grunting, etc. that indicated to me that he had to go but we kept doing the ASL potty sign too, and stayed hopeful that sometime soon he would catch on to that or we would start to notice some sort of other pattern or something. It really excited me! Diapers are really NOT exciting at all, but this was. It was so nice to not have to wash as many diapers, ESPECIALLY poo ones now that he was eating solids, and it felt like we are just making huge strides in our communication with each other, I loved it. My husband would take him to the potty too, which was awesome!

After he was sitting up really well unassisted, around 7 months, we started setting him on the small potty chair again. He was much more comfortable at this age and would sit for a while, playing with toys or just hanging out with us. He would poo & pee, too! We started taking him not just after naps but at all different transitions, when he would wake up, when we got out of the car seat, when we got out of the carrier, before we left the house and sometimes a few minutes after nursing. When we would arrive somewhere I would take him and hold him over the toilet in a public restroom, or often times just outside of the car in the parking lot! We were getting in a really good groove and it didn’t really take much extra effort at all, just undoing & redoing diapers but it wasn’t that big of a deal.

We also bought a few more little potty chairs from IKEA to have around the house so we weren’t always running to the bathroom. Having them scattered about was really convenient for us and I loved that T was comfortable and happy sitting on them.

Baby-led potty-training in progress

Baby-led potty-training in progress

Baby-led potty-training at playtime

Baby-led potty-training at playtime

This went on for a couple of months and then T started crawling, yay! Not so great for the potty though. Now he was able to climb off of the little potty whenever we would set him on it, he was MUCH harder to manage during diaper changes as he just wanted to roll over and go, go, go, and it was much more difficult to watch for any “signs” that he needed to go to the bathroom when he was off exploring.

Potty chairs are fun to play with though!

Potty chairs are fun to play with though!

This was a big time of transition for us, T loved being mobile, his mood was dramatically different, and it was the beginning of a lot more bodily independence between him and I. I was ok letting EC take a back burner for a while. He was learning and exploring and discovering at such a fast rate and we as parents were now deep in the “how to” of balancing freedom and safety and boundaries and awareness with a mobile child.

We changed houses a lot during the next months, stayed with different family members, moved states, but we always managed to spend time outside and I almost always gave T some diaper free time each day.

Around 12 months I noticed that he seemed to have more awareness of when he had to/was about to go to the bathroom. He would be naked outside and he would always look down before he peed, when he had to poo he would usually stand up and hold onto something, still and quiet for a bit, then go. This was huge to me! I felt like if he was aware of what was about to happen it would only be a matter of time before he would be able to communicate it to me or take himself to the potty to go.

He is now 15 months old and that is pretty much where we are. In the morning when he wakes up we go to the potty and he almost always goes pee, same when he wakes up from his nap in the afternoon.  He spends a lot of time during the day diaper free and almost always looks down before he pees, sometimes I am fast enough to put him on the potty other times I wait until he is done and then put him on the potty anyways and explain to him that the potty is the best place to go. I can usually tell when he is about to poo and if we are able to get his diaper off and get to the potty in time we do. I honestly don’t see us being diaper free outside of the house for a long while, it isn’t something I am pushing for and I am all about making things as easy and convenient as possible when it comes to being out and about with a toddler. I believe as he can start communicating more he will tell me when he is ready! I know he is only 15 months which is still very young when it comes to “potty training” but at this point it is not a stressful thing for us and I hope it continues that way over the course of the next year.

Letting child follow his body's cues

Letting child follow his body’s cues

Our EC story is a very part time one, but I am grateful to have come across the knowledge early and give T the opportunity to get comfortable on the potty and relieving himself outside of a diaper from a young age.

What are your experiences with EC? Have you heard of it, tried it? At what ages? We would love to hear your story!