Category Archives: Homeschool

Thoughtful Thursday: New Normal

We have had several students welcome their second children this year.  It brings back memories.  Both Bruss and I remember going from 1 to 2 children as the hardest transition to make as we were adding children to our family…and maybe that’s because we have stopped trying for more children after we welcomed our fourth in 2011…anyway…

While it was hard to readjust to using the diaper bag again, the amount of time it took us to go from wanting to leave the house to actually leaving the house, the sibling rivalry…it was not until we welcomed our third in 2009 that I had an epiphany moment about my expectations and “normal”.

I remember sitting on the couch – overwhelmed with how much I needed to do, not being on top of my to-do list, feeling like I was neglecting my usually ordered life somewhere because I still felt like there was so much chaos.  And the realization hit me – our third child was already nine months old!  This WAS my normal…as I came to call it, my “New Normal”.

Once I accepted that things were never going to be like they were before, and that I was going to be okay with that, I made a new game plan.  I started by identifying my priorities.  Once I made those, I took a hard look at our day, and realized that although we liked our nanny, she was not the right one for our family.  Another adult in the house who made more work for me rather than make our day smoother was not an option anymore.

And yes, we have a nanny – that is one of the ways I am able to do all the things I want to do on a daily basis.  And I buy $5 pants from goodwill, or buy no pants at all and keep mending my torn pair because I would rather have a nanny than new clothes.  When we do buy new, we buy on sale, or we shop gently used at consignment sales.  We have also cut back in other areas so that I can keep that help, and still homeschool, teach childbirth classes, and devote time to writing almost every day.

My other “secret weapon” is an incredibly supportive partner.  He totally believes in co-parenting, and I know I can count on him to take care of the Sweet Peas when I need to go out and network, or go to meetings in the evenings.  He works hard to support our family, and allows us to afford the nanny so that I can be a mom, teacher and burgeoning free-lance writer.

I cringe to say I have found balance – I see balance as a stationary thing with no movement…I definitely don’t strive to be motionless.  I do aim to be kind, be peaceful, grow our children, grow & support our students, and grow as a writer, all while maintaining some sanity and a relationship with my partner and best friend.  I do look at our life every few months and try to figure out if we are at another “New Normal”, or if things are still going well as we go along.

As I reflect on the lessons of 2013, here are my big a-ha’s for this year:

  • Accepting that I need to sleep has been transformational.  Sleeping more than 6 hours a night has pretty much put Crazy Mama to bed and allowed Peaceful Mama to show up and stick around almost every day.  I love Peaceful Mama, and since she is who I want to be when I grow up, I am going to keep sleeping.  As a wonderful side benefit, I have barely had a sniffle all year long.
  • I embrace that I can only do so much.  I identified my two biggest priorities, and all other decisions stem from my ability to do those two things.  Wow – I can’t even begin to tell you how immensely freeing that has been.  It’s so easy to say no without regrets, and again, Peaceful Mama reigns the day because I am not overdoing things.
  • I have compartmentalized my time.  There is school time, social media time, and writing time.  Once that time is used up, then it’s face time with the kiddos. If things are not done within their time frames…move along.  By the end of the day, it all gets done, and if it wasn’t perfect…I am okay with it.  I feel like our children see me, and my face, instead of a shining computer screen, clicking keys, and my backside.

I am reflecting on 2013 and considering what I want 2014 to be like…I have some good ideas to build on the lessons I learned this year.

What is on your wish list for 2014??

P.S. Blue Russ from Blue Russ Health Coaching was instrumental in helping me identify and realize my “a-ha” lessons over the course of our coaching sessions.  I encourage anyone who is ready to grow to give her a call!

 

Homeschooling: Toddlers

I had an interaction on Instagram that asked how we homeschool when the Sweet Peas are between 2 – 3 years of age.  My answer is simple: play with them!

Now that doesn’t mean that you can’t play with intention.  We have toys that involve sorting, stacking, and identifying.  We talk about shapes, names, and colors in English and in Spanish.  We also work in the ASL words, and now that Puma is exploring French, we add that name in as well when she is playing with us.

You know how toddlers repeat everything they hear?  We read books and books and more books – they are absorbing everything that they see and hear.  Is there any topic that they love?  Is there something in particular you want to explore with them.  The key here is access.  We ask Otter to bring us a book, and read whatever she chooses.  If she chooses a book that is a little older than her attention span, we look at the pictures and make up a brief story and pick out things from the illustrations to talk about.

Then there are times when kiddos want the same book read over…and over…and over.  Those days we choose different voices for different readings, or I ask her to tell me what happens next by the third and fourth reading.  If I can find it, I will link a great resource that talks about reading a book four times through as a general practice.  I printed out sheets for our playgroup and now I can’t find the source…grrr…

The last thing we do as we “homeschool” our toddler is a lot of art!  We have crayons, markers, scissors, glue, paint, colored pencils, stickers, yarn, beads, pasta…so many textures to explore and use to create.  There is no judgement, and usually no examples…I just lay out the materials and let the kiddos do what they are going to do.  They are so proud of their creations, and in the process they are learning gross and fine motor skills, getting used to holding a line maker and making lines in all directions, shapes and sizes.

Before you know it, you are going to have a little person that knows their stuff and did it without tears.  It is so much fun…and as Otter is joining us in the school room every day, it is slowing us down.  However, it is making school more fun for everyone because if she is crafting, then everyone is crafting.  What a great way to start the day…music…art…and learning.

Why We Homeschool

One of our student’s sent me the following questions…I sent her the short answer, and thought that a longer answer would make for a great blog post.  (and it’s longer! broken up into sections so you can read it in pieces if you want) Thanks, N.M., for tickling my brain!

“Why do you homeschool? How do you feel your kids have benefitted? And how long do you plan to do it? I’m really considering it…but I’m gonna continue to read up on it. I just know when the time comes I will have to convince C.”

Why we homeschool
It started off with a simple desire: I wanted our children to be truly bi-lingual.  I wanted them to be able to speak, read and write Spanish.  It is my first language, although it is not the one I am the most confident in.  I wanted our children to have the advantage of having consistent and deliberate exposure to Spanish as they grew and throughout their school day.

As it turns out, Coach Bruss is of a Libertarian bent and I have evolved to be so, too.  We both feel that the public school system is too much about the collective versus individuality.  We believe in the sanctity of the individual, and we want our children to grow up being free thinkers and creators, in contrast to the culture of being good at taking tests and standing in lines.

Add in the component of food allergies, and the fact that not all of our children want to sit at a desk to learn, and we are beyond happy with our choice to homeschool.  While we have a set curriculum, we are organic in our approach.  I learned a long time ago that tears and resistance are a good sign that neither teacher or pupil is ready for the subject matter, and it is best to wait until both arrive at the same place at the same time in regards to reading, writing, and math.

How we feel our children have benefitted
There are so many ways – almost too many to count.  Here are some of them in a nutshell:

Puma is able to explore her avocations – she loves horses and dance.  We read books about horses, and periodically throughout the day, she gets to take dance breaks.  She also loves to draw – there is plenty of time for her to do that and she always has access to art supplies.

Night Owl is most definitely our non-traditional learner.  He absorbs everything…just not the way you or I might expect.  He likes his hands busy and his brain open.  He may look like he is playing, then all of a sudden you ask a question and he gives you an answer that includes today’s, yesterday’s and last month’s information synthesized together.  He wasn’t interested in reading or writing last year, however, he could build you a structure worthy of a thesis project.  This year, he is asking to learn to read.  And we are not sounding out words…he is looking at a word, working it out in his head, and he tells me the correct pronunciation.  I couldn’t be more proud or flabbergasted at the same time.

Charger is our writer.  He loves to put shapes on paper.  Recently, he is more into drawing.  He figured out how to make the first two letters of his name.  Not by repetition – I will write his name for him on top of every worksheet, and he just started copying.  One of his favorite phrases is, “I can do it!”  Meaning that he doesn’t want me to show him how to do something – he wants to work it out on his own.  He has been learning by immersion by sitting in with us for the last couple of years.  He knows his shapes, colors, most of his letters, and numbers through 10 without having to be intentionally taught – the information seeped in and now we get to do something with it.

Now it is Otter’s turn to learn by osmosis.  She wants to be right in the big fat middle of everything.  She wants to be in the schoolroom with us every moment.  She likes to use her clipboard and fill up a whole sheet with different strokes and colors.  It is a gift to watch her enjoy the time in the schoolroom although at this point she is more of a champion mess-maker than anything else.  Even that turns into a lesson as we sort and talk through our clean up.

I love laying out papers, colors, scissors and glue for them to create while I am reading out loud.  I like allowing them to bring in some building toys, or do puzzles while I read.  I like being able to go outside and do some water play in the middle of the day.  Or letting them go into the kitchen to get their own snack, or go to the bathroom when they need to…just allowing their basic needs to be met while we all go on this journey of discovery.

We also have the benefit of flexibility.  There are no sick days – if someone is under the weather, they don’t have work to make up – they just devote their energy to recovering and pick up where we left off when they are better.  We can take vacations during off-season, and go to the playground, museums, and the zoo with full access to all the fun stuff when most other kiddos are in school.  It is such a gift to go and just enjoy these without the weekend crowds!  We try to remember to point this out to the kiddos.  They sure can tell the difference, and prefer going on “field trips” in the middle of the week.

How long we plan to homeschool
When Coach Bruss and I first talked about homeschooling, we thought we would homeschool through second or third grade.  We both agreed that the early years are crucially important to our children’s long-term outcomes:

“The basic facts are compelling. The human brain grows most rapidly during the
prenatal period and the first few years of life, reaching 50 per cent mature weight by
six months and 90 percent by the age of eight. Children’s physical growth is also very
rapid during the early years, but physical maturation is a much more extended process
compared with the changes taking place within the nervous system (Rutter and Rutter,
1993). The earliest months of life are also the period of most rapid synapse formation
– constructing the dense networks of neural connectivity on which cortical activity
depends. Synaptic density increases most between birth and 1 to 2 years of age (when
it is 50% higher than for more mature adults). Densities decline gradually over the
period from 2 to 16 years of age.”
http://unesdoc.unesco.org/images/0014/001474/147499e.pdf

We knew we wanted to be their primary influence during their formative years when they would be learning their core values and the belief systems that they would have to evaluate as adults.  Why would we entrust these little treasures of ours to other people?  I really believe that we know our children best and we are best suited to be their teachers.

Now Puma is doing her third grade year.  At the end of last year, as I saw her enjoying her time with her friends from dance class, I felt a twinge of guilt – maybe I was keeping her from social experiences that she could benefit from.  I asked her if she wanted to try public school this year, and she was quick to say, “No!”  She likes being together as a family, she likes to be able to ride (horses) and dance and learn and play.

As we see more of what we consider indoctrination finding it’s way into the school system, we are more convinced than ever that we will be homeschooling at least through middle school.  We both agree that we do not want to have their first experience with peer pressure and decision making to be in college, so we are racking our brains and trying to figure out how/where/what will have to happen to get them into a high school that is based on the Objectivist philosophy while still honoring the sanctity of our Creator.

Convincing Your Partner in Parenting
Coach Bruss did not know what to think when I told him I wanted a natural birth…and yet we went to Bradley classes together and we learned a lot through that experience.  We went to a La Leche League meeting as Bradley students, expecting to see tree-hugging, au natural mamas and ran into a couple of people we knew, and who we would definitely call “normal” – that preconception was changed.  And then I bring up that I want to homeschool our daughter….Bruss was containing his eye roll, I know!!  However, having been pleasantly surprised with our other choices, he was open to exploring the idea.

So when Puma was about 18 months old, we went to our first homeschool convention.  It was an eye-opener for both of us.  I thought of homeschooling in the context that I saw my mom teaching my brothers in their bridge year between preschool and kindergarten.  I thought we would be doing worksheets and flash cards.  Bruss expected tree-hugging, macrame-making mamas with their earth children in tow.  What we found was that the homeschool scene of today is huge!  There are all kinds of families choosing to homeschool and it blew both of our preconceptions out of the water.

There are choices in curriculum that fit the secular to the spiritual choices.  There are options for science and math and creative writing, as well as art, physical education and language studies.  The sheer volume of resources that was on the floor at the Phoenix Convention Center pretty much cemented the decision to homeschool.  Both of us felt confident that the only thing our children would miss out on would be the negatives of public education.

There is the age-old question: what about socialization?  The idea that our children are not going to be able to navigate social situations has always intrigued me.  Our children are actually being exposed to a wide strata of instructors and age groups in the activities we do outside the home.  They are able to communicate with children their own age, and in addition, they can relate to people who are both older and younger than they are.

One of the benefits of homeschooling is having open lines of communication with your children.  You are their teacher, their parent, and their confidante when you intentionally nurture those relationships.  There is nothing Puma can’t tell me – she knows I am a safe space for sharing ideas and experiences.  There have been instances when the anecdotes she tells me from her dance school makes me raise my eyebrows (internally, of course), and we have the opportunity to talk through those situations and learn from them.

Can this work for our family?
I would encourage any family thinking about homeschooling to think about these questions:

  • What is our motivation?  What will keep us on this course once we accept the commitment to this path (for now/ for this year)?
  • Who will take on the responsibilities of teaching? What will they do to feed their soul so that they can be fully present for the children in a teaching capacity?
  • How can we organize our days to honor the commitment to school/unschool?
  • When we look down the line – 1 year, 3 years, 5 years down the line, how does this choice fit into the long-term goals we have for our family?

I will start a tab on the blog soon to list homeschooling resources.  I spend so much time at the convention looking through resources that I rarely feel the need to research online, however, I know that is not an option for everyone.  I know that there are some great pages out there that talk about the hows, whats and whys of this choice in great depth.  I will find them and get back to you on those.

Have you ever thought about homeschooling?  What crosses your mind when you evaluate that choice?  What kinds of resources are you looking for?

Tuesday Tip: Play is Learning

As we get ready to go “back to school” in our home, we face a unique situation where we only have one child who isn’t being “schooled” with a curriculum.  However, every day is a school day when you realize that every interaction, every activity is a learning opportunity for your toddler.

Here are five ideas pulled from THIS article – these are the ones that we are trying to remember to use – we have the supplies…now to pull them out and enjoy them with Otter, and all the other kiddos, for that matter.

5. Provide puzzles, oversize wooden beads for stringing, blocks and other toys. (My note: great for spatial relationships, counting, sorting, hand-eye coordination when you string, cause & effect when you build and topple.)

6. Provide drawing and art materials to help your child develop pre-writing skills. (My note: great for developing gross- and fine-motor skills.  Also sense of touch if you use different textures of paper.)

7. Encourage pretend play such as “Let’s pretend we’re going to the store.” (My note: this is a perfect opportunity to engage older children.  Puma really enjoys playing store, so I can leave the set-up to her, and Otter and I can be her shoppers.  The two most common themes are Farmer’s Market and Pet Store – LOL.  Added bonus: Puma practices her math when she makes change!)

8. Play rhyming games to help your child notice similar sounds.  (My note: being a bi-lingual family, there are ample opportunities to do this.  So far we rhyme English to English and Spanish to Spanish.  Maybe we will expand to cross-lingual rhyming this year!  We definitely can add more rhyme time to every day…also a great opportunity to practice our sign language if we sign the rhyming words.)

9. Ask your child questions that encourage creative thought (“What do you think about …”).  (My note:  This one we have to incorporate…such a great idea can’t believe we have missed this one!!)

Read the complete 10-point list HERE

So as we strive to do more “play” and passive learning for Otter, it’s time to dig out our Discovery Toys and pull the chunky puzzles down from the shelf!  The bright colors engage her, and usually her siblings, too!  I love this line because you can replace lost parts…a gift when you can’t stand playing with incomplete sets (my little OCD challenge!).

I also take the time to cull our books every season and make sure fresh chunky books are on the lower shelves for Otter and Charger, and highlight the ones that are seasonal.  Some of our faves are from Barefoot Books – great Spanish selection and sing-along books.  We also make sure that any books that are on-subject for the older kiddos find their way to the schoolroom for that week’s focus.  I find that rotating our book collection keeps things fresh for all of us!

A staple in our school space is an easel and watercolors with cups and paintbrushes.  Every morning I refresh it with paper and make sure we have clean brushes.  The water filling I leave to the kiddos – good sensory activity and practice moving liquids!  It gets a little messy however I think the lesson is worth it.

We also started an “art station” in the kitchen the last few weeks of school last Spring.  Anyone else love doing art in the kitchen??  The sink is right there 🙂

I rotated the activity every week (stickers, stamps, crayons, markers, gluing, cutting and pasting, etc.).  It gave the kiddos a “play” activity to do while they waited for their meal, and it also allowed me to work in one (or more) art activity into the day.  We will be doing this again this school season.  Please send along any “center” ideas that we can set up in the kitchen – we will need some inspiration in a few weeks when we run through our standbys!

What do you think? Do you think you take enough time to play with your children?  I know I don’t, and that is something I am working on as I strive to add more breath to our days.