Category Archives: Healthy Habits

Sleep Happens

I was contacted by a sleep coach recently.  I went to her website, read through it, contacted some IBCLC’s I know, thought about it some more, and then after much contemplation, I have a path forward.  Now I just have to write back.

In the meantime, I have run across a couple of blogs that talk about sleep, I have revisited my Pinterest board to find articles about sleep, and reflected on what I know from my experience, and the insight I have into Cassandra’s journey with night nursing.

I don’t think anybody will ever convince me that training your infant child to sleep through the night is a good thing.  Here are two articles I like to share that explain why getting an infant to sleep through the night, when it hasn’t been a milestone they reach on their own, can actually be dangerous.

  • THIS one from Organic Baby Atlanta
  • THIS one from Yahoo! Voices

A student’s answer in reply to THIS post I shared inspired me to write today’s blog post.  Here is her comment (shared with permission):

“I don’t agree with this article being so adamant about it being normal to be so tired and an emotional wreck. I think that’s dangerous to say; because if you feel like that, you need support, and to adjust your lifestyle to compensate. Not just say it’s normal and suffer.”

So while you will probably not find me as a sleep training advocate, I do agree that families have to have a strategy to get the sleep they need so all the adults are fully-functioning during the waking hours: physically, mentally and emotionally stable as they go about their lives with a newborn.  Upon more reflection, I have come up with five suggestions for you to “try on” or “toss”, as needed.

1. EVALUATE
There are no easy answers.  I really encourage our students and friends with babies to trust their heart when it comes to their child.  I recognize that some ideas from The Experts are worthwhile, so try/take what you need and works for your family, without breaking your heart in the process.  Then, toss the books, The Experts, and Read Your Child.  How is their temperament?  Their growth? Are the reaching milestones?  Does what you are choosing feel right for you, and right for your child?  Are they at/around a milestone time?  Believe it or not, learning new skills can mess with sleep as much, if not more, than teething!

In addition to that – how are you?  Do you have the support you need?  Are you connecting with other mothers in similar situations?  Have you formed a mama tribe? Are the people around you supportive? And if not, are you okay with your decisions? ARE YOU WAKING YOUR PARTNER UP TO HELP WITH CARE??

2.  ENGAGE YOUR PARTNER
I emphasize the last questions because parenting is a team gig.  You cannot parent in a vacuum.  If there are two of you in the home, then the two of you need to participate in care.  We often hear, “But they have to go to work in the morning.” *crickets* SO DO YOU.

Whether mothers work at home, or work outside of the home, we have to show up, too.  Not zombie mama, tired mama, yelling mama…I can honestly say I hate it when she shows up at my house…so ironic as I write the wee hours of the morning in AZ.  Lucky for me, I am a 6-hr a night type of gal, and since I fell asleep at 8:00 pm, things are looking good for today.  Anyway, I digress.

Your best mama is needed every day.  So wake up your partner and have them help you if your baby (or child of any age) is still waking through the night.  Both of you are invested in your child, and this night waking thing is temporary.  Trust me, it too, shall pass.  We literally slept in shifts for a brief period last year.  It was crazy while we were in it; looking back, I am glad it’s over; and I can see now that it truly was temporary.

 

Sometimes it helps to get a routine going, and you can both get back to sleep.  THIS article has great tips on training your infant’s circadian rhythms without resorting to cry-it-out methods.  Our “infant” routine consisted of the baby waking, being passed off to Bruss for a diaper change while I got up to use the restroom (still! because making breastmilk also requires a hydrated mama), and then I would come back to a clean, dry baby, and I would sit down to nurse.  After passing off our nursling, Bruss would head to the kitchen, fix me a high-protein snack, deliver said snack, and then he would go back to bed.  I would nurse our baby until they were back asleep(!).  With some kiddos, we used an Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper, with others we did bed-sharing, and with some, as they got older, they were lovingly cradled into the crib in our room.

We followed each child’s cues, and they got back to sleep, we got back to sleep, and life moved on.

3. MAKE SLEEP A PRIORITY
The other key that is so hard to follow is the old adage, “Sleep when the baby is sleeping”.  Yes, that means during the day, too, especially in the early postpartum days, or even when you have a toddler.  (As I sit in the middle of “being two” with Otter!)  I know: you have things to do, emails to answer, places to go.  This is written with much love in my heart: I don’t care.  I mean it – sleep when the baby is sleeping.  The best thing we ever did, and I can’t believe it took me four babies to get it right, was to take a babymoon.

We shifted priorities in our home.  For the first week, I stayed in bed with Otter.  That’s it.  It was A.Ma.Zing.  I didn’t look at the messy house, the kitchen, the scattered messes happening everywhere as our other children moved about their days.

Who else finds this image disturbing? Amazingly, I was able to let it go and enjoy our Babymoon because I was intentional about prioritizing sleep over my need to organize and sort.

Who else finds this image disturbing? Amazingly, I was able to let it go and enjoy our Babymoon because I was intentional about prioritizing sleep over my need to organize and sort.

Our bedroom was clean, our bathroom was clean, and I just closed my eyes when we took our daily walk through the house to sit outside in the sun and get some fresh air.  Other than that, all meals were brought to our room, sometime the kiddos picnicked with us, other times, I ate while I snuggled with Otter and fell right back to sleep.

Most partners can take a week off of work if a grandparent is not able to help out in the postpartum period.  Whoever it is, let them take care of you, and take care of the other children, while all you do is sleep, sleep, and sleep between breastfeeding your infant.  If you can take more than a week, do it.  Other world cultures practice a 40-day period of rest and recovery.  If that is not your reality, know that getting rest and letting your body have a surge of healing time through your first week can make the rest of the postpartum period easier to handle.  Facing it as a rested person, and not a zombie, does wonders for your perspective.  Need more convincing?  THIS article from Birth Without Fear makes a great case for Mothering the Mother.

Newsflash:  There are great ways to make technology work in your favor and release any feelings of having “to do” something with anything that clicks.  Set up your email with an “Out of Office” auto-reply announcing your babymoon, and offer an alternative mode of contact if someone feels their business is urgent enough to warrant an immediate response.   Almost all social media platforms now have a “cover photo” option that pops up when people search for you.  Write an announcement and make it your “cover” to let people know you will be out of touch, soon to return.  And lastly, if you blog, enlist other people to write for you.  I had four wonderful teachers from my mama tribe step up and write guest posts for me while we enjoyed snuggling with our Sweet Pea.  Turn everything off, and sleep when your baby is sleeping.

It Can All Wait.

4. SET BOUNDARIES
Learn to say YES.

  • To the friend who offers to set up a meal schedule.
  • To the visitor who offers to do housework (leave a list of chores they can choose from).
  • To the person who offers to leave your home and let you get some sleep.
  • What else??  Anything else that serves you, as uncomfortable as it might be to accept help.

Learn to say NO.

  • To the person who wants to come to visit during a sleep time.
  • To the person that wants you to help with something while you are on maternity leave.
  • To the outing that you can’t handle because you are too tired to go.
  • What else??  Anything else that will drain your energy reserves and keep you from sleeping.

As your baby gets older, it is so important to apply the same standards for your Yes’s and your No’s.  Avoid the temptation to fill your day full of activities, classes, and play dates *every* day.  Many of our students Just Say No to events that happen during nap time .  I am so proud of them, even if it means that we won’t get to see them or their Sweet Peas.

5. ENLIST HELP
Another option in the postpartum period that is increasingly available is hiring a Postpartum Doula.  These women are trained in the postpartum care of a family.  To quote a doula we interviewed, “…what I do is much more than taking care of infants; a Postpartum Doula offers education, companionship and in-home support for families with infants.” They can be available to do light housework, prepare meals, care for the baby while you sleep, and some are even trained lactation counselors who can help identify and troubleshoot any breastfeeding challenges you may have.  Want to learn more?  HERE is the full interview on our Sweet Pea Births blog.

Truly, these women are invested in helping you have the best postpartum experience possible, and for a very reasonable fee.  As your baby ages, and if your budget can’t afford a nanny or weekly house cleaner, consider their doula fee your monthly “treat”.  Have them come over once a month to play with your baby, prep a meal, clean the kitchen – while you take the much needed nap.  I am not sure at which point in your child’s age they would want to terminate their services.  I guess it’s a question worth asking.

Please check our Resource Page for a list of Postpartum Doulas if you are in the Phoenix, AZ area.  If not, you can check out DONA International’s registry, or doulamatch.net to connect with doulas in your geographic area.

It is my fervent hope that some of these ideas may work for you.  Everything is so much more manageable when you replace the “tired and tank empty” filter, with a “rested and tank is full” filter.

I also like learning new tips, so please feel free to share what worked for your family, or a link to your blog post about getting sleep and/or postpartum care in the comments.

What has worked for you to get more sleep in the postpartum period, or as your child develops before they start sleeping through the night?

PS: Another article I like about sleep training HERE

Staying Healthy

It’s that time of year when I start to take extra precautions with our family.  We avoid high-traffic places (if we must go, we go off-peak times), we are even more vigilant about hand-washing, and we are on top of our daily dose of vitamins and minerals!!

Our chiropractor offers some very practical tips, especially important if you want to avoid the “ick” of the flu season.

Here is how our family is boosting immunity this winter:

BLOG winterize spf.1

Elderberry Syrup – some if the kiddos drink it straight (it’s very sweet!); the others add it to water and ice for a “North Pole” drink.  I know there is some debate about drinking cold things…my stance is if this works to get the elderberry in, we’ll do it.

Vitamin C Lozenges – chewable

Zinc Lozenges – disolve

Vitamin D – small capsules, easy to swallow

Fish Oils – chewables from Nordic Naturals

Juice Plus – to fill in the gaps in fresh fruits and vegetables

In addition to these, we continue to eat a whole food diet.  Our kiddos eat apples, carrots and oranges (fruit for some, juiced for others) almost every day, in addition to at least one serving of greens.  All of these foods are rich in Vitamin A, the “anti-infection” vitamin.

So far, so good.  We are into November with a couple of runny noses that are all cleared up now, and no fevers.  Praying we continue in good health!!

What does your family do to stay healthy during the winter month?

Disclaimer:
The material included on this site is for informational purposes only.  It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation.  Cassandra Okamoto, Krystyna and Bruss Bowman, and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided.  

Tuesday Tips: Learning At Home

Just in time for Tuesday Tips, I pulled out this great card from a shopping bag – yeah!!  I thought it would be fun to show you how we incorporate these principles in our home…forgive the mess in the background – we live at Sweet Pea House, not a catalog!!

In case you can’t read the fine print in the photo – here are principles plus photos of how we put them into action:

1. Space. Make sure you have a comfortable, well lighted spaces for your children to read, including space in their bedrooms and shared rooms.

We bring our chairs out here for some reading in the green space - a real luxury in AZ!

We bring our chairs or blankets out here for some reading in the green space – a real luxury in AZ!

Here is another outdoor space we enjoy - also a part of the courtyard. I have our sand & water table in this area as well.

Here is another outdoor space we enjoy – also a part of the courtyard. I have our sand & water table in this area as well.

Puma's reading corner

Puma’s reading corner

2.  Books, books, and more books.  Having a variety of age-appropriate books available ensures there’s always something fun to read nearby.

Books that are in our room for a peaceful family training at the end of the day...we hope the ideas seep in over night!

Books that are in our room for a peaceful family training at the end of the day…we hope the ideas seep in over night!

BLOG learningtips2.3

Books in our family room – took some of the niches and turned them into bookshelves! On the top is part of the lending library for our students.

Here is a close-up of the bottom shelf...more going to bed books!

Here is a close-up of the bottom shelf…more going to bed books!

Book basket in the family room - I try to remember to rotate these out so there are always new treasures!

Book basket in the family room – I try to remember to rotate these out so there are always new treasures!

Puma's bookshelf

Puma’s bookshelf

Playroom bookshelf

Playroom bookshelf

BLOG learningtips2.2

Schoolroom bookshelf with books, art supplies, and manipulatives.

3.  Creative writing.  Encourage your children to develop writing skills by stocking a variety of colorful writing materials and creating bright and airy space to write and draw.

Each kiddo has a pencil case of one kind or another with the basics...they usually have scissors and a magnifying glass in there, too! Will have to do a treasure hunt for Charger's I guess...

Each kiddo has a pencil case of one kind or another with the basics…they usually have scissors and a magnifying glass in there, too! Will have to do a treasure hunt for Charger’s I guess…

Our writing corner in the schoolroom - paper and lots of things to write/draw with :)

Our writing corner in the schoolroom – paper and lots of things to write/draw with 🙂

Even our youngest has the opportunity to practice her writing!! This is what the look of an almost-two year old looks like at our house.

Even our youngest has the opportunity to practice her writing!! This is what the “writing” of an almost-two year old looks like at our house.

4.  Play!  Make sure you have lots of props for pretend play, and play with your child.  The words you share through play help grow your child’s vocabulary.

Puppet basket

Puppet basket

Costumes

Costumes

Play food we mostly use to play farmer's market, picnic, and S'mores!

Play food we mostly use to play farmer’s market, picnic, and S’mores!

5. Read.  If your kids see you reading, they’ll learn that reading is a fun and valuable way to spend time.

On Coach Bruss's side of the bed - he also keeps a couple of books to read in the car while he waits.

On Coach Bruss’s side of the bed – he also keeps a couple of books to read in the car while he waits.

Books on my side of the bed.

Books on my side of the bed.

How do your incorporate these ideas into your family’s space?

 

Attachment Parenting: Feeding With Love and Respect

I am so glad to be back in the area to take advantage of all the wonderful support groups the Phoenix area has to offer.  Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend the Attachment Parenting International meeting in Chandler.  The topic was “Feeding with Love and Respect”, based on that principle of attachment parenting.

Here are some of the ideas presented by Amanda, the API leader:

  • Feeding is about more than giving them food – it is an exchange of love between parent and child when you consider the time it takes to prepare and serve
  • Breastfeeding is the method that promotes the most bonding: closeness in proximity, it provides warm nourishment on cue, meets baby’s needs while meeting mom’s needs
  • Bottle-feeding can be AP, too: Keep your baby close, feed in your lap, make eye-contact: preserve what you can from the breastfeeding experience even when breastfeeding isn’t an option
  • As your child grows, there is definitely a decision to be made about making food at home versus purchasing processed food in the stores.

She made an interesting point that I had not thought about:  when we start solids, we literally start moving our child away from us.  Up to this point, all their food has come from mother and/or in proximity to a care giver.  Once they start being fed solids, children are usually set in a chair away from us.  It is not unusual for children to crave closeness and want to eat in your lap, which is exactly what Otter wants to do more often than not, especially when we are eating out.

Now I get it – she is in a strange place around people she knows are not in our family, eating a meal.  Mealtimes for her are usually at home, around our table, with people we know – no wonder a restaurant makes her want to be close to mama!! I will totally embrace her instead of hesitating to give her my lap space when we are supposed to be “eating out”.  It is totally appropriate for her to find comfort in my lap, because that has been and still is her “safe space”. She knows she is loved and safe when she is in my embrace.

Amanda also talked about weaning…she did say that AP teaches to offer breastmilk first (up to a year-old), and then to offer solid food.  There may come a point when baby totally bypasses you and goes straight to the table.  That is okay, too; it is honoring the child who does not want breastmilk at that instant.

We also had the pleasure of hearing Blue Russ share her perspective on food with the group.  Here are some interesting statistics she shared:
90% of the food in grocery stores is processed
If you think about it, we are advertised to almost every waking moment by billboard signs, computer banner ads, television ads and the radio.

She encouraged us to let go of any guilt that we have associated with our food choices, and instead, look at the choices we are making and accepting them as the choices that work for us in this time and space.  She reminded us that our children learn about food from us – they taste the flavors delivered in our breastmilk, they watch the choices we make, they learn our rhythm of life.  If we want them to learn healthy habits, then we have to live the habits we want them to learn.  Among them, to let go of any shame, guilt, blame and stress that we feel about food.

We have all been there – we are in a rush, we need to go, and we make the choice to go through the drive-through instead of feeding the food we “should” be eating.  One mama had a great perspective to share: she tried to remember it was more important to feed herself than go hungry, and that the opportunity to make a better choice existed in the future.

Blue invited us to look at the connections between our lifestyle, stressors, and our choices.  Could we see any correlations?  If we wanted to make changes, she encouraged us to look again at this day – just today.  What was one thing we could do, what decision would we make, to support the choices for a healthier lifestyle?

Here are some of the time-saving ideas shared in the group to help us eat well when we all feel the crunch of time:

  • Wash, dry and cut a bulk quantity of greens and/or other vegetables.  Then freeze them in meal size portions so that all you have to do is cook them when you are ready to eat them.  The question came up about freezing greens – yes you can! (think frozen spinach, or see top image)
  • Prepare a large quantity of main dish meals that can be augmented with sides for dinner.  Eat your portion one night, and freeze the rest in dinner size portions for later.
  • Make a stock soup in large quantities – use broth for enriching rice or pasta.  Puree veggies for a veggie soup, serve meat with meals, reserve some broth to re-heat for a quick “to-go” meal that you can drink.
  • Check out THIS link for more info on salad-in-a-jar and The Fresh 20; both time-savers.  The salads make for fresh, healthy convenience food, and The Fresh 20 is a planning/prep guideline that calls for one shopping/prep day and easy dinners on meal nights.
  • Prepare a week’s worth of food, and cut-up and label snack foods for fresh noshing.  Amanda makes a pasta salad that can be eaten cold for her anyone in her family to eat anytime, while staying out of her labeled items to be used later in the week for meals.

We also talked a little about how we prepare food.  One mama does Reiki over it before preparing/eating.  I shared that I say a prayer for God to bless our minds, our bodies and our souls with the food he has provided for us before I make a meal (especially when the meal is a gift to another recipient).  Basically, the idea was to prepare food with intention, because that is also part of feeding with love and respect…pouring our love into every action, including meal preparation, that will directly or indirectly be affecting our children.

In the Mexican tradition, we have a saying that if we are angry when we are preparing a meal, our food will be spicier.  Do you have any traditional beliefs about food in your family?  How about time-saving tips?  Any thoughts to share on the topic?

Tuesday Tips: About Baby Food

Do you want to know about baby food and feeding made easy without using commercial baby “junk food”?  Today’s tips are for you!

I made purees for the boys.  While it was great to have them to mix-in to other foods and sneak veggies in everywhere, it was time consuming.  It took two days dedicated in the kitchen to make 30 days worth of purees.  With Otter being our fourth Sweet Pea, and two kiddos to homeschool, plus all the activities our three older kiddos needed to be ferried to and from, I was ready to try a feeding theory that was going to save me time.

Both Cassandra and I ascribe to the concept of Baby-Led Weaning.  It is not, as it sounds to our ears here in the USA, a method by which a baby stops breastfeeding and goes straight to solids.  It is a theory of feeding that proposes to skip purees and start with foods when a baby is ready, typically between six to nine months of age.

One of the reasons why our family decided to go the Baby-Led Weaning route:

“Feeding practices such as introducing lumpy foods before ten months of age and consuming family meals have been shown to lead to healthier eating patterns through childhood.”
http://theconversation.com/branded-baby-food-falls-short-of-home-made-fare-but-why-18004

The other reason is that it is actually insanely easy…you feed them what you are eating, with the exception that anything you serve to them is cut up into pea-sized pieces as they learn to feed themselves.  You still take the usual precaution of introducing one food at a time, so that you can identify any potential allergies.  We would also space 2-3 days between food introductions.

How do you know your baby is ready for Baby-Led Weaning?  A baby demonstrates they are ready for solids when:

  • They can sit independently – that means no props, folks.  Your baby can get from a prone position to a sitting position all by themselves, without the support of a chair or pillow to keep them in a seated position.
  • They have lost the tongue-thrust reflex, which means that they don’t try to suck at anything and everything you put in their mouth by reaching forward with their tongue first.
  • They have developed their “pincer-grip”, which is the ability to use typically their thumb and forefinger to grasp at objects (anyone else have a Sweet Pea that practiced on your arm while they were nursing – that was one of the clues for me!)

It does require some thought and planning.  You want to take into consideration any food allergies that run in your family, and possibly delay the introduction of those foods into your child’s first or second year.  You may want to look at food introduction schedules to make sure that your baby is going to be open to trying lots of different foods, not just stick to the sweet tastes.  Click on the links for a couple to check out from La Leche League and Dr. Sears.

The other tip I like to share was shared with us when Night Owl was a baby.  After his RSV scare, we saw a lot more of his specialty pediatrician, and this is what they told us: introduce new foods in the morning.  Why would that make sense?  In the event that your Sweet Pea has an adverse reaction to any food you introduce, care facilities typically have their “A-team” on staff during the day.

Most of all, have fun with it.  Remember that in most cases, your breastmilk is providing complete nutrition for your Sweet Pea up through their first birthday.  One of our students has a great little saying that I love to share: “Food before one is just for fun!”

If they play with their food, let them! They are exploring the smell, the texture, and the taste.  Some of it is making it into their mouth…and for whatever doesn’t, your breastmilk is still there providing complete nutrition.  Neat fact: your breastmilk changes flavor according the the food you eat, so they have already been exposed to all the flavors you will probably be offering them.

If your Sweet Pea sees that you have good eating habits, they will mimic you.  Before you know it, you will have a well-fed toddler that eats just about anything and everything that (s)he is offered.

I still have to migrate our Baby-Led Weaning posts over from our Sweet Pea Births site – it’s an 8-week chronicle of Otter’s foray into food.  Check it out HERE.  Want to see what the results of this type of feeding?  Cassandra has done some awesome posts on feeding her toddler.  Check them out HERE and HERE.

My favorite resources: Introducing Solids
Baby Led Weaning
La Leche League
Dr. Sears

Disclaimer: 
The material included on this site is for informational purposes only.  It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation.  Cassandra Okamoto, Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided.