Category Archives: Family

Summer Reading List – Mama version

Surprisingly, I have actually managed to finish quite a few comedic and/or “chic lit” books so far this summer. TV shows being on hiatus combined with trying to rest more have been an awesome combination for extra reading.  But I have also pulled out some new and old parenting books that I plan to read or re-read this summer too, if any mamas are looking for some family related reading they are all below with a few thoughts!

paperbacks!

Sacred Pregnancy: A Loving Guide and Journal for Expectant Moms
Anni Daulter

sacred pregnancy book
If you find yourself less inclined to stay up to date with the week-by-week pregnancy updates online or via a phone app during a subsequent pregnancy but feel like you don’t want to completely ignore the changes taking place in your body each week, this is a great alternative! The book is set up for a few pages each week talking about various things that may be happening with you or baby that week, way less clinical and more spiritual, and also gives a topic you can journal about that week and a small activity to honor yourself and/or the baby growing inside of you! I have this on Kindle version but so wish I would have ordered a physical copy as the illustrations look so beautiful and there is probably room to journal right inside the book which would make it such a special keepsake even once the pregnancy is over.

Parenting from the Inside Out
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. & Mary Hartzell, M.Ed.

parenting from the inside out book

I love everything about this book! It is NOT an easy read by any means and I have only made it about half way through but if I ever get some quality, uninterrupted time to read I like to pull this up on Kindle and am always highlighting passages and taking numerous notes. It is written by a psychiatrist and early childhood and parent educator and is very straightforward and scientific at times. It delves into how memory works, how certain parts of the brain develop and work, and is centered on emotional intelligence, self understanding and reflection. It also lays out very specific ways for us as parents to grow and understand ourselves and our children more. Everything is very practical and I learn a TON every time I pick it back up. Before the book begins it states “This book will encourage you to build an approach to parenting that is founded on basic principles of internal understanding and interpersonal connection. The anchor points for this approach to the parent-child relationship are mindfulness, lifelong learning, response flexibility, mind sight and joyful living.” These are all principles that were important to me and my husband long before having children, so this book really resonated with me on all levels. I would highly recommend if these are things that are important to you in your life as well!

How to Raise a Healthy Child… In Spite of Your Doctor
Robert S. Mendelsohn, M.D.
I have had this book for awhile now and have never actually read it, I have just used it as a very useful reference guide. The index has everything you could possibly be wondering about and you can flip right to the appropriate page. I really want to sit down and take it in cover to cover though, I know I won’t remember everything but I think there is probably a lot of useful preventative information that would be nice to have in the back of your mind before you are in the thick of a OH MY GOODNESS MY BABY IS PEEING BLOOD AND HAS A FEVER OF 104!!!??? episode. It does a really great job of providing a balance between treating at home and when to seek care, most everything I have read doesn’t seem too liberal or too conservative, just logical paired with the author’s actual experience as a medical doctor.

kids are wroth it!
Barbara Coloroso
This book was recommended by my wonderful doula and mama to seven, Rose, so I knew it would be a good one. I have only got through seven of sixteen chapters but have really loved it so far. Chapter Two talks about “three kinds of families” and I found it to share a lot of similarities with Dr. Laura Markham’s (the next author on the list) four parenting styles. Some parts were a tad overwhelming to me as they address some very typical patterns and behaviors that we have fallen into with our toddler without even realizing and/or thinking about it. It definitely prompted me to want to make many positive changes in the behaviors we use to encourage him to change his behavior. There are also a lot of tools of self reflection in this one, ways in which to honor our own feelings as parents and how to work through them while still being our best selves for our children. One of the main themes throughout the entire book is how to empower children, something I really appreciate and try to keep at the top of my mind at all times, can’t wait to finish the rest!

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids
Dr. Laura Markham

I have probably said this before, particularly when I reviewed seeing Dr. Laura speak earlier this year that while the book is very feel good and has many great messages, I find most of it very hard to apply to toddlers in particular, especially ones that are not yet verbal. There are only 17 pages specifically for the toddler ages, 13 months – 36 months, which is obviously what I am most interested in right now. I think there is a lot of “big picture” information too, showcasing what ideal circumstances will look like when you and your child are connected, instance, etc, but it was sometimes hard for me to find information helpful for specific circumstances we find ourselves in that are hard to deal with. Some of the techniques are helpful, like offering choices, making a game out of hard times like bath, brushing teeth, etc. but I also find us a lot of time going through all of those tools and still ending up in a tense place. I think there is a lot of great information for “preventative” work with our children though, and the overall theme does really seem to be self care and connection to help avoid as many negative situations between child and caregiver as possible. I am happy to keep this book around and think I will re-read it many times during the school age years!

The Discipline Book
William Sears, M.D. & Martha Sears, R.N.

I picked up this book when looking specifically how to handle discipline with my two year old. I found that during age 1 he was still learning and exploring and there was only keeping him safe and guiding him, no discipline. As we approached his second birthday it was clear that “discipline” was needed. Discipline has a very negative connotation but I am not referring to punishment, just a way to reinforce important rules to keep him safe, provide structure, and understand age appropriate behaviors along with what I could expect him to understand, etc. Because this is what I was looking for I only read Chapter 1 “Our Approach to Discipline” and Chapter 3 “Understanding Ones, Twos and Threes.” I really liked the information as it was easily presented, easily digested and practical. I did feel that some parts were focused on setting limits and providing structure around “age appropriate behaviors” but what exactly is age appropriate wasn’t defined, as it varies from child to child? That was a hard one for me because it was what I had struggled with before I even picked up the book, what is appropriate to expect from my 18 month old? What does he actually understand? What is he actually capable of? This has gotten easier as he has transitioned into two and now into two and a half. I have a better grasp on his understanding and capabilities even though he still doesn’t talk much, and revisiting this book as well as reading ahead will definitely be helpful!

What are your favorite mama or family focused reads? Is there anything you have heard of but just haven’t picked up? I know I have been meaning to find Raising Your Spirited Child as well as The Whole-Brain Child I just need to get through the rest of the above first!

 

 

Monday Musings: A Better Postpartum

Despite reading about and trying to prepare for the postpartum period while pregnant with my first baby those first weeks after his birth were a pretty miserable experience for me. I think with your first baby it is going to be a huge shock no matter what you do, everything that comes with being entirely responsible for a tiny human life is brand new and your body is undergoing rapid changes that have never happened to you before. That being said, I had an absolutely wonderful postpartum period with my second born, a blissful first week and then another wonderful two weeks after that spent at home. There are obviously a TON of factors that differ from first borns (knowing what to expect, your body’s physical memory, being used to interrupted sleep or very little sleep, etc. etc.) but there are a few things I did differently this time in hopes of a better postpartum that I wanted to share.

IMG_9244

Expectation & Household Help

Be very up front with your partner about the household needs if you are to remain in bed all day during those first days/weeks. Everyday I…. sweep, do one load of laundry, do two loads of dishes, pick up the playroom before dinner, wipe down the counters, etc. Personally, having my house out of order makes me feel out of order, you may be tempted to get up and do what you would like done, you may start to feel frustrated or resentful that your partner doesn’t see or know what needs to be taken care of – in my opinion it is best to have these conversations prior to birth and as frank as possible. If after understanding the requirements and expectation your partner isn’t up for the job then you can make arrangements to hire temporary help or ask friends or family members to take on specific duties (that you now have entirely listed out). I know it feels very strange and impersonal or uncomfortable but it is SO WORTH IT when you have a tidy home and can completely enjoy resting and responding to your newborn uninhibited.

Community

Which leads me to my next example, community. This is much harder with your first born as you may not have many friends that are mamas, or mamas of young children, but if there is any way for you to connect with other pregnant women or new moms or moms of your current child/children if this isn’t your first, DO IT. And while you can, before you are pregnant or before birth, show up for them. Make meals for new moms in the group, offer help to pregnant or new moms with their older children, reach out with flowers or anyway you can and when you have your baby they will do the same. We were showered with meals, snacks, flowers and gifts every single day that first week and it was nothing short of a continuous warm & fuzzy feeling.

Nourishment

At the advice of my midwife this time around I followed a vegetarian, high fat diet post birth. I really believe that this made such a HUGE difference for me. Nothing processed, no refined sugar or grains, big batches of nourishing smoothies, soups with seaweed, vegetables, soft cheeses, lots of ghee and butter, stewed fruits and nuts. This made going to the bathroom such a breeze (which seriously can be just as scary as birth itself that first week!) and I felt wonderful. Good fats are so important for hormones and there is evidence that they help combat postpartum depression, read a little more here & here. I will be forever grateful for all of the food preparation my husband did for me those first couple of weeks, and all of the generosity of our little community here made that possible. Him, my toddler and my mom, who was at our home helping out, never had to worry about anything to eat and I had endless options for quick grab-and-nurse foods in addition to everything my husband had prepped.

IMG_9253

Postpartum Lounge Wear

This point may seem vain and unnecessary but after an ultra nourishing postpartum diet I am going to put this up there as my next biggest game changer for baby #2. I lived in ultra tight Lululemon with teeny underwear prior to having my first baby and in the last few weeks of pregnancy it was the same pair of maternity tights and tank top that still fit. Once he was born I found myself so uncomfortable in those first weeks (months) with nothing to wear, my pre pregnancy clothes WAY too small, even my comfortable pajamas were squeezing me in various places, I had no underwear to accommodate large pads, I needed easy nursing access for my baby and it felt impossible to be slightly presentable, even just being in bed. This perpetuated more of the loneliness and isolation that is often felt after the birth of a first child. I wanted to at least try and see if that could be different this time. During Black Friday and some other holiday sales and with the help of my very generous mom I picked up some nice loungewear for after birth. A silky pajama set, two pajama sets I wouldn’t mind going for a walk around the block in, two pairs of comfortable high waisted jogger sweat pants, two nursing camisoles from Belabumbum and a few pairs of black boy short underwear in a size bigger than I normally wear. I didn’t wear any of my purchases prior to birth and everything was so fresh and nice and new to me when she arrived. I would take a lovely sitz bath and change into a nice, new pair of pajamas and I felt great. Now at 5 months postpartum I still wear every piece all of the time at home, definitely a good investment.

Perspective

I really wanted to make the most of our time home as a brand new family of four. Besides some aspects that are just kind of shocking, I think one of the hardest parts of postpartum is the guilt, the unrealistic expectations, the “shoulds”, the “have tos”, so I took some time before the birth to give myself some personal perspective. I was going to ask for and accept help, I was going to accept that my son was well cared for by someone other than myself, I was going to stay in bed, I was going to take a bath every day, I was going to take time and eat good food, I was going to see this as a blissful almost three weeks at home as a family, we would never all be home together for that amount of time! I was not going to power through pain or negative emotions, I was going to rest, cuddle and nurse the baby, and when someone else was cuddling her I was going to cuddle my son. And that was it. Instead of feeling trapped inside the house I was going to view it as my personal sanctuary, a spa like place, that was tidy from the help I requested, that served amazing food and where I took hot baths with and without my new baby. There was nothing else I should or had to be doing, this was it.

prez

A friend recently posted a link to this article on her Facebook page and it is so true. We have lost so much as new mothers in this country and I really hope little by little we can support each other and help change the face of postpartum (which really extends throughout the first year, IMO!), even a little bit. What did you do to have a better postpartum? What do you recommend to new mamas? How did your postpartum experience change with each child? We would love to hear your stories 🙂

Sibling Preparation Part II: Post Birth

This is part two of my (Cassandra’s) sibling preparation journey, what we did after the birth of our daughter in January to help my son (2.5 yo) with the transition. You can read what we did during pregnancy in part one here.

It has only been four months since we welcomed sweet baby P into the world (see photos of her birth here) and although we still have moments here and there we have established a pretty good routine as a family of four, our son is honestly thrilled to have a baby sister 99% of the time… Our son, T, is definitely a rise-to-the-occassion kind of guy. He really never does anything until he absolutely *has* to, case in point, he slept through the entire night without waking for the FIRST TIME EVER the night after his sister was born, he was almost three. He has also since decided he would start talking. That being said, he really took to his role as big brother and embraced our changing family, it could have absolutely nothing to do with what we did before or after. BUT these things did help everyone feel more at ease and help us get into a nice, new rhythm that now included a baby.

1. Help for our son

We asked my mom in advance to visit after the baby was born for additional help, mostly for our son. Her trip coincidentally was planned for the very evening our baby P was born, we had a great day resting as a family of four post birth and the next day my son was SO excited to see his Granny. She stayed for more than a week and I think it was one of the best things we could have done immediately for our son. He was so busy having fun with her, out and about all day he didn’t even notice that I was at all restricted. Another lap, another set of hands and undivided attention for him.

2. Mama Milk Access

My son hadn’t nursed in many long months but was still used to his share of milk cuddles, I knew shutting him out when baby was nursing would trigger him emotionally, causing him to act out. I always welcomed him to snuggle me while simultaneously nursing the baby, we talked about how the baby didn’t eat food and needed lots of milk to grow bigger and stronger so she could play with him and he got into a routine of coming to “kiss baby P milk” each time we nursed, he would give a quick kiss to her head or my breast and then usually run off. It’s not always easy when he climbs all over us or I am feeling touched out or the baby was fussy at the breast but over the long haul I think it was really important to welcome him into our nursing time in order to combat jealousy.

image2

3. Only Positive Reinforcement 

This was actually a tip from one of my midwives, to only focus on and model the positive aspects of his interactions with the baby and not the negative. So very basically, instead of “don’t be rough with the baby” say and show him “we are very gentle with the baby, we touch her gently and kiss her gently” We did this with EVERYTHING and we also refrained from making things “because of the baby.” If the baby was sleeping and we needed to be quiet we didn’t say we need to be quiet because the baby is sleeping we would say we need to be quiet because we are having quiet, restful time and we can be loud and crazy as soon as we get outside or something a long those lines. I tried to ONLY mention ANYTHING about the baby in a positive manner to him. I felt like it was really important at the very beginning, that although fantastical, he did not feel the baby was affecting him. Obviously everything was going to change but if the change was gradual and organic for him rather than abrupt I knew we would all fair better.

image1

5. Keeping it Low Key 

I was on my own with both kids for the first time when my daughter was two days away from turning 3 weeks old. I was feeling fantastic so that was a MAJOR plus, but things were obviously still very new and scary and taking a tiny almost three week old baby out of the house is not comfortable for me. My son and I rarely ever stayed home the entire day though and I knew keeping things similar to his normal routine would have the best results. For the first couple of weeks I did some of our same activities, just toned down a bit. I invited one of his friends over to play, instead of the usual 3 we have play dates with. I walked to the closest coffee shop (instead of our usual spot that is farther from home) and then the park across the street. I went to a nearby science class as our outing for the day, instead of planning anything before or after as we usually would. This helped me from feeling entirely overwhelmed and it was really nice for all of us to gradually transition back into “normal” life.

FullSizeRender

 

6. “Pretend Me Baby” & Snuggles

Pretty soon after the baby was born my son started asking to “tend (pretend) me baby” and would want to fake cry while I rocked him or make sucking sounds over my shirt or pretend we were driving and he was crying in his car seat. I embraced this and it gave us a good time afterwards to talk about him being a “big guy” and how he differs from the baby, etc. At four months postpartum he still likes to play this game and we always get lots of laughs out of it. Whenever he would start getting frustrated about diaper changes or wanting mama I would ask if he wanted to PRETEND he was a baby and have a pretend diaper for a moment or have a good cry, etc. it almost always works! I also try to give him as many extra snuggles and physical contact as possible, even if it doesn’t seem like he needs it. As soon as baby is sleeping in her swing I check in with him for snuggle time or cuddle and read books and we play lots of tackle and wrestling games when possible. I know that once he is depleted it is much harder to fill his cup back up so I try to be mindful of frequent mood lifting activities.

 

At four months postpartum there are already new challenges on our journey as a larger family (toy possession, baby’s increased need to being “put” to sleep and quiet, etc.)  but these above were all extremely helpful for surviving the fourth trimester and setting the stage for our new normal. What else have you done before or after the birth of a sibling that have helped the transition, emotionally and physically?

 

 

 

Sibling Preparation: During Pregnancy

Krystyna has wrote various pieces on preparing siblings for the arrival of a newborn brother or sister and even specifically preparing them for a home birth of that sibling over on Sweet Pea Births blog, but today I am going to share what exactly we did with our 2.5 year old son during pregnancy and birth in anticipation of his sister’s arrival.

We talked about the pregnancy, baby, breastfeeding, what he could expect, etc. every day in all different contexts and situations, it was a regular topic of conversation and everything was always positive. In addition to that ongoing dialouge the following was all extremely helpful in easing the transition.

1.  Big Brother Books.

We picked up all sorts of different books: I’m Going to be a Big Brother , Daniel Tiger’s The Baby is Here and Big Brother, Babies Can’t Eat Kimchee and were gifted Berenstains Bears’ New Baby and The New Baby. We read them throughout the pregnancy and he still likes reading them today (3 months post birth).

2. Watching Birth Videos.

We were planning a home birth so towards the end of the pregnancy we watched home birth videos online quite often. I searched for ones with siblings present and we talked about how this is what it would be like when baby sister arrived. We talked specifically about what labor was like and how she would come out and join us.

3. Breastfeeding: Remind, Remind & Remind Again.

We were in the process of weaning when I found out I was pregnant. My son was completely weaned very early in the pregnancy but still was interested in and asked about “milk” ALOT. I knew that breastfeeding might be a point of frustration / anger / sadness for him when the baby arrived so we talked about it early and often. We talked about how babies have mama’s milk when they arrive (and watched newborns nurse in the above mentioned birth videos), we watched animals nursing online, we talked about how little babies need mamas milk but he is big and has things like yogurt and ice cream that babies can’t have. I asked him over and over again what the baby was going to do when she got here so he could respond with “mama milk!” and over and over and over just kept the conversation going and always kept it very upbeat.

4. Big Brother, Little Sister Gift.

We talked a lot about how when little sister got here she would bring a gift for him (my parents and grandparents so generously purchased him an iPad mini! We wanted it to be something notable) and we took him around my due date to a local children’s store and let him pick out a gift for her. He picked out a little plush giraffe and a couple hours after the birth he started asking about his gift and was extremely excited to give baby her gift too! This really worked like a charm for us and definitely promoted his interest in her when she arrived I believe.

5. Recognizing & Pointing out Siblings.

As soon as we started talking about a baby joining our family we started emphasizing siblings wherever we went. We talked ALOT about his friends that had babies and what it was like for them and how exciting it was that *he* was going to get a baby too, just like them. When we would see babies at the park I would always point them out and say “a baby like your baby sister that is coming”, etc.

These are all extremely simple and were not hard to implement but for our family they really did make an impact. Our son knew exactly what to expect during and after the birth and I could not have been more pleased with the immediate transition. I feel like a large portion of the work actually came *after* she was born in order to preemptively mitigate tension and maintain peace within our day to day though. Stay tuned for those in part two, Sibling Preparation: Post Birth, coming on Thursday!

IMG_9398 IMG_9399 IMG_9400

IMG_9397

What else did you do to prepare your older children during pregnancy? We would love to hear in the comments, cheers to siblings without rivalry!

Tuesday Tips: Kindly Saying No

It is one of our great privileges to be an ongoing resource to our Bradley Method® students.  Here is a question that came my way that I wanted to share today:

Hi Krystyna! Help! I’m in need of some advice.  We live in a small town where everyone knows everybody and it’s been great for so many reasons. The problem I’m having is keeping people from giving my kids candy. It happens daily. Sometimes several times a day. At church yesterday I happened to walk up just as my two year old was choking on a piece of hard candy. There are a million old ladies at church with hard candy in their purses. In fact, after a very scary 10 seconds, I was able to get the candy out of his little throat just as another old lady is handing our other son a piece of gum. I just about dropped the F-word right there. How do I, very nicely, tell these sweet old ladies to stay away from my children. Our older son is always asking for candy too, so that doesn’t help. He knows he can get it anywhere. It’s driving me crazy. The lady at the post office today handed them both a lollipop as I was getting the mail. I’m at the end of my rope. Any advice? Thanks!

When faced with situations like this, my first line of defense is humor.  I struggle with seething rage when I perceive a threat to our children, so I have had to learn to laugh first, then respond.

There are a couple of things you can say with a smile:

  • “Oh, you can’t give him that candy unless you are planning on taking him home with you….you know how sugar makes them fly off the chandeliers!”
  • “Stop right there  (Hands up where I can see them, etc.), or I’ll have to call the granny police!  Candy before lunch and he’ll be going to toddler jail!”

The other approach is just a matter of fact if you can pull it off without an angry face:

  • “Oh thank you, we can’t accept that right now – we are on our way to have lunch/snack/dinner and I do not want to ruin their appetite”

My last suggestion is to tell well-meaning gifters that your children are allergic to the ingredients in the candy. Read over this information, and you can probably make a good case that your children are allergic to the dyes in the candy: http://feingold.org/6certified.php

It is a tough place to be when people want to be kind.  I try to remember that they are operating from a place of love, especially in the situation like our student was facing.  By remembering to respond to their love with my own love, it makes it easier to replace my angry face with a smile.

How have you kindly said no to people who are giving your children unsolicited food or treats?

 

 

Why I Won’t Take Sides on the Vaccine Debate

I have been known to mention in our Bradley Method® childbirth classes that the best way for our students to blow up their social media pages is to mention one of these words: “vaccine” or “circumcision”.

True to form, I watched an alumni student’s feed blow up in a spectacular fashion last week. When I expressed sadness over the situation on my own page, and tried an attempt at tongue-in-cheek humor – wow! I had an implosion on my page. It was quite spectacular, really, in the history of my personal social media.

Quick recap to frame this post:

You may have seen the article(s) going around about a measles outbreak that seems to have originated from a contagious individual visiting Disneyland. A friend posted a link to one of those articles on her page. Then it was detonation time as people from both the pro-vaccination (“vax”) and anti-vaccination (no-vax”) camp chimed into the ensuing conversation.

A post I made expressing sadness over the name-calling and bemoaning that there are no easy answers elicited all kinds of new passionate responses, both on and off topic.

Names were called and feelings were hurt. Among those of us who know each other IRL, personal messages were exchanged to make sure that there were no lasting hard feelings.

I learned two things from the situation:

  1. I do not have the stomach or the thick skin required to take a stance on these issues on my business pages, or anything else, personal, really. I had pretty much accepted that I will never be a super-blogger because I am not willing to bleed for the sake of making a name for myself – this was the final nail in that coffin.
  1. The situation validated that I will continue to make an effort to examine conflicts from different perspectives, and to seek lessons from the situations that cross my path. It continues to be a wonderful way to step away from the emotion and see how I can grow.

I will not take sides on the vaccine debate, personally or professionally, and here is why:

  • Both sides claim to have science on their side.
  • Both sides have examples of sick and injured children.
  • Both sides have room to play the “dead baby” card.

The statement, “If you are not willing to sacrifice your child, don’t ask someone else to sacrifice theirs,” holds true for both sides of the argument, doesn’t it? Indeed, we have heard from both sides of the argument…children who experienced life-threatening or lasting complications from the vaccines they received, and children who have been compromised by the decisions of those who choose not to vaccinate. There certainly are no easy answers from where I stand.

Here is what I can and do say about all parenting decisions: Take Responsibility. This is not just my position; it is one of the tenants of what we teach as Bradley™ instructors.

As you start your evaluation process, consider exposure. Examine your family’s exposure and re-evaluate it periodically. Where do you/ your partner work? Are you exposed to a population where there might be a concern that you will bring dangerous germs back to your children? How many people are you exposed to in your daily routines? The more people you are exposed to, the more chance your child has of possibly catching anything, whether there is a vaccination for it or not.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO VACCINATE:

  • Read the package insert on the vaccine you are choosing to have your child injected with. Know the production process and the ingredients in the vaccine, i.e., if your child has an egg allergy, you may not want to vaccinate them with an inoculation that was cultured inside an egg. Also inform yourself of the possible side effects, so that if you see any, you can report them to the your doctor and the federal agency if your country has one (VAERS https://vaers.hhs.gov/index in the USA). Do not count on the information that is available on the Internet or via word of mouth from your friends. While there is a lot of information and you probably have very smart friends, only you can choose for your child. Read.
  • Talk to your pediatrician. Ask them what the vaccination was intended to treat, if it has been effective, and how your child will be cared for if they do, indeed, contract the illness against which they have been vaccinated. Is it any different than if they were unvaccinated? Has the treatment progressed and improved over time?
  • Do you know if your pediatrician accepts patients that opt for alternative vaccination schedules, or decline vaccines as a whole? Will someone coming to the office with an illness affect your ability to care for your child, or attend to work if you and/or your child are quarantined? If you are concerned about their answers, find a pediatrician who practices in line with your beliefs about vaccinations.
  • If your child’s health is compromised due to prematurity, other illnesses, or birth defects, and you choose to vaccinate, do you care if your pediatrician treats patients who are not or are alternatively vaccinated? Again, if you are concerned about their answers, find a pediatrician who practices in line with your beliefs about vaccinations.

It is up to the parent of the vaccinated child to get the answers they need to know in order to make decisions for the care and treatment of their vaccinated child.

 

IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO VACCINATE

If you are not going to vaccinate, you also have parental responsibilities that go along with that choice.

  • You have a responsibility to protect and build your child’s natural immune system. Things that may help: extended breastfeeding, a whole food diet that includes as much organic food as possible. For organic eating without breaking the bank, check out THIS article from WebMD or check out THIS blog post from the Food Babe that offers 75 tips on how to make organic eating realistic and cost effective. You may especially want to load up your child with breastmilk and/or food that is rich in Vitamin A (called the anti-infection vitamin) and Vitamin C (known to boost the immune system).
  • It is up to you to make sure that your personal hygiene is impeccable. Good hand washing is the foundation for better health outcomes. Learn, practice, and teach your children how to *really* wash their hands. HERE is an info page I like from the CDC.
  • If you suspect your child has a contagious illness for which there is a vaccination, and your pediatrician sees both vax and non-vax children, I beg you to make an appointment at the end of the day when you are not going to expose any other patients to those germs. If you have it in your heart, maybe even offer to have the space disinfected after you leave. Also have the courtesy to let the staff know that you suspect your child is experiencing symptoms of a particular disease. You are choosing to be okay with your child building up their natural immunity by experiencing illness and making a recovery. It doesn’t mean that everyone else wants to make the same choice by proxy. Be mindful that even if parents are going to vaccinate, some are cannot be administered until a child is 12+ months old. You could be exposing an infant whose consequences are *much different* than an older child experiencing the same disease.
  • If your child’s health is compromised due to prematurity, other illnesses, or birth defects, and you choose not to vaccinate, are you doing everything you can to ensure your child’s exposure is limited during critical times like cold+flu season, and throughout their childhood when they are building up their immune system? Have you exhausted all alternative therapies (chiropractic care, homeopathy, acupuncture, bodywork, essential oils) to ensure that your child has the best opportunity for a healthy life?

As I learned more about vaccines and struggled with the decisions we need to make around how to choose for our children, a midwife shared some wise words with me when I sought her counsel.  Loosely paraphrased: There are consequences with either decision. If you put something in, you may wish you hadn’t. If you don’t, you may wish you had. Which decision can you live with?  Which one lets you sleep at night?

There are a growing number of families who are choosing alternative vaccination schedules. While this post is written for the “yes” or “no” perspective to vaccines, there are middle roads. Dr. Bob Sears offers an alternative schedule in his Vaccine Book, and he also has an active social media page – check it out HERE.  Other families are choosing selective vaccination based on the diseases they feel the do/do not want to take risks with.

With whichever path you choose, make your choices, be willing to re-evaluate and change your path if necessary, and by all means respect the choices of those who choose differently. We are all reading, sometimes the same things, and coming to very different conclusions. What we have in common is making decisions for the love of our children. We all believe that we are doing what is best. And therein is the crux of every implosion you will see around the topic.

 

Namaste.

Happy New Year

Photo Credit: Amy Yellis

Photo Credit: Amy Yellis

We wish you much joy in the new year.  May you find your inner child, and run towards your dreams with love in your heart and the wind at your back.  And not only chase them…may you catch them, and enjoy the fruits of your labors <3

I have chosen to memorize the words that are attributed to St. Francis of Assisi this year, and make these 365 days ahead of me meaningful by living them out.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

I truly wish that this is not my year to be born into eternal life – there is still a lot of living left to be done with my amazing husband and our fantastic foursome.  As for the rest of it, I cannot think of a better expression of unconditional love, and that is my deepest question for this year, “How am I living love right now?”

Speaking of new beginnings:  Please join your prayers and good intentions with mine for Cassandra to have the birth she and her baby need as they become a family of four this year.
I am so excited for them, and I am so excited for T. to become the loving big brother she and Eric have nurtured in him.

Wishing you and yours a blessed and joyful new year.

Have you set any intentions or goals for 2015? What are you striving for?

Wishing You All Good Things…

Thank you to all of you who have been faithfully following the blog, and big hats off to Cassandra who has managed to keep blogging  while being beautifully pregnant and chasing around her very active toddler.

We have had a full season in the Bowman House.  The boys enjoyed soccer for the first time, and Coach Bruss got to be a soccer coach instead of a birth coach!! He really enjoyed that.  I attended my final birth for my DONA doula certification…now I just have a pile of reading to do and paperwork to turn in.  Bradley™ Day was amazing…I will try to update that site while we take a break from homeschooling so I can upload the pictures to the website…you can see them HERE for now.  And homeschooling is almost on schedule – LOL.  It has been fun watching all our children grow through these first few weeks – Otter has mad scissor skills for a 3yo, Charger is learning to read (!), Night Owl is crazy good at math and is getting more motivated to read on his own as he hears his brother learning, and Puma is just all-around awesome – she is growing in her reading, writing and math skills, as well as learning how to do some sewing handwork.

To close out the year, I want to share these holiday wishes with you…

XmasWish05

Angels to guide you and keep you safe on your journeys…

XmasWish01

Angels to guide you and keep you safe on your journeys

Starry nights to wonder at the marvel of creation and reflect on the promise of the Star of Bethlehem

XmasWish02

Starry nights to wonder at the marvel of creation and reflect on the promise of the Star of Bethlehem

That your holiday dreams come true…even if they don’t come to fruition exactly as you imagined, may you find creative solutions so that you remember the love and joy as you create memories.

XmasWish03

That your holiday dreams come true…even if they don’t come to fruition exactly as you imagined, may you find creative solutions so that you remember the love and joy as you create memories.

Time to breathe in peace amidst the hustle and bustle so that you can radiate love and calm as you walk with your Sweet Peas

XmasWish06

TIme to breathe in peace amidst the hustle and bustle so that you can radiate love and calm as you walk with your Sweet Peas

A year of enjoying creation with your children…more time outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air with your Sweet Peas in 2015.

XmasWish04

A year of enjoying creation with your children…more time outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air with your Sweet Peas in 2015.

We are setting the intention for daily walks so that we can all get our daily dose of Vitamin D and teach our Sweet Peas good habits for a lifetime of health and vitality.

I will be back in 2015 with more regular posts.  I am committing to posting at least once a week, and more often as I get parenting questions from our students and can carve out time to blog between homeschooling and the other activities the SPKs.  I have all these pictures to share with you that just haven’t made it on to the blog – we have had so much fun with our preschool playdates and those will turn into blog posts so you can see the activities we are doing.  I also have great notes to share from the Birth Without Fear Conference…OMGosh it was A.Ma.Zing.  Lastly,  I can’t wait for Cassandra to share her thoughts on parenting two after her baby arrives safely earthside and she starts writing again after their babymoon…

Happiest Holiday Wishes to you and yours!! Be sure to tag us on social media so we can see how you are enjoying your holidays with your Sweet Peas <3

Hello again! What’s new?

So sorry we have been MIA since school started for us in September!!
  • We are a homeschool family, and for the first time, I am homeschooling all four of our children this year! Otter is now old enough to do preschool, and Charger is officially in kindergarten, so most of my day is spent educating the Sweet Pea Kids.
  • I had three doula clients in the last two months, and there is one more baby due in November.
  • We are getting ready to host the Bradley Day Family Festival on November 9, 2014.

In order to be Peaceful Mama for the Sweet Pea Kids, I have to get some sleep, so something had to give.  As soon as the baby arrives and Bradley Day 2014 is in the books, I will be back to more regular posting.  I do post to Twitter and Instagram as time allows – feel free to follow us there in the meantime.

A quick shout out:
We are pleased to be able to support a fundraising effort for Dignity Health Foundation – East Valley with a donation to their Silent Auction at their Laughter Is The Best Medicine event this weekend.  More details on that over on the SPB blog – click over to see a full list of what is inside this basket:

Gala02

So this morning we are off to dance class and then to do some volunteer hours at the Dignity Foundation offices.  The Sweet Pea Kids and I will be stuffing goody bags for the event and doing whatever else we can do before they run out of steam.

Have a great day!

Review: Preschool for Threes by AOP

We are two weeks into our homeschool year.  I am loving our new preschool program – so much that I wanted to share it with you!!

Note: I have not been compensated by AOP for the following review, and I am not in any way affiliated with anyone or anything that is linked in the post.  Feel free to click away on the links!  Nothing is going into my pocket!!
I am sharing out of joy and excitement in the hopes that another family can benefit from this product.

We used the Horizon Preschool program for when our two older kiddos were 4 & 2 and loved it.  They released a new program last year that was too young for Charger, so he also used the Horizon Preschool curriculum.  This year, Otter is turning three, so we had a perfect candidate to take advantage of the new Preschool for Three’s program.

According to the Children’s Health Network, “a normal attention span is 3 to 5 minutes per year of a child’s age”.  If we can keep Otter’s attention on a task for nine minutes, we call it a win.  

Why I love Preschool for Threes: 

    • Otter has a chance to “do school” without being overwhelmed.
    • She has a reader that is just for her.
    • She practices school readiness skills every day.
    • She is introduced to one letter concept and one number concept a week, and the worksheets provide an opportunity to reinforce both.
    • The worksheets have delightful animals that carry through the theme every week.

She is so proud to be able to sit at the school table with her older siblings, and believe it or not, they want to do her work, too.  They *love* her animal coloring pages and cannot believe that I do not have enough worksheets to go around for them to color their own animal.  We are talking a nine-, seven- and five-year-old here.  I guess my only complaint is that I have to get on-line to find them line drawings of animals to color so they don’t feel left out!!

Here is what you get with the program…along with my insight about why there is so much to love about the Preschool for Threes program:

Curriculum: Horizon Preschool for Threes by Alpha Omega Publishing

Curriculum: Horizon Preschool for Threes by Alpha Omega Publishing

Teacher’s Manual:
Every week is themed around one bible lesson.  The lesson plan offers a supply checklist plus additional activities to supplement the worksheets and the theme.  I like having a checkbox, and we also start reasoning skills at the preschool level, so I created a spreadsheet that I can fill in for the week ahead on Sunday night, and then check off throughout the week.  I get all of the supplemental material ready so all I have to do on the weekday is pull out a packet for that day, all ready to go.  Total prep time on Sunday night: 1 hour.

Pf3s04

Teacher’s Manual – Horizon Preschool for Threes by Alpha Omega Publishing

Student Workbook:
These are the worksheets for the program.  You can tear them out as needed, or if you have other children to prep for, do it all at once and lay it out for the week.  Horizon has the best illustrations and colors – as I said earlier, our older kiddos pine for pages like these although they are way beyond 3-year-old work.

Student Workbook - Horizon Preschool for Threes by Alpha Omega Publishing

Student Workbook – Horizon Preschool for Threes by Alpha Omega Publishing

Student Workbook Companion:
These pages are printed on heavier weight paper.  They consist of games and activities that can be played throughout the school year.  So far we have prepared a lacing card, a language arts aid, and now we have a memory game for next week.  I am pasting them on card stock to make them last even longer, and as soon as I have a working laminator again, they will be laminated.  I write the lesson theme on the back or the container so that I can remember to reinforce it as the school year stretches on and the themes aren’t at the tip of my tongue.

Since the language arts aid for this week was a child’s face, we have been talking about the vocabulary for different parts of the face in English and In Spanish.  The theme of the week was “Sin” from the fall of the the garden of Eden.  As we go forward to use this aid, we will use the song O Be Careful, Little Eyes to reinforce the vocabulary as well as the lesson.

I am thrilled to be able to fill a preschool box for Otter of just her own activities.  At any point going forward in the school year, she can entertain herself with sturdy materials that can be used over and over.

Pf3s01

Student Workbook Companion – Horizon Preschool for Threes by Alpha Omega Publishing

Bible Story Reader:
This is by far Otter’s favorite part of the program.  She is delighted to have her very own book since we have bookshelves full of books for each of our other children’s school programs.  She proudly pulls down her “God book” every day.  We are not just reading the story for the week.  The illustrations are fantastic, so as she finds an illustration that appeals to her, I “read” her the story.  Not always the whole thing, maybe a sentence or two, or I ask her what she sees in the picture.  As you may have noticed in some of the photos, although we are only two weeks into the program, the book is already well-loved.  I have admonished all our other children to keep things well-taken care of since they have to be used four times over, and we don’t want Otter to get dog-eared hand-me-downs.  This is going to be Otter’s very own book so I am patient in letting it be loved.

Pf3s02

In practice:
All in all, I do “school” with her and Charger (5yo) for about an hour a day.  She sits at the table to do her worksheet and her other supplemental activity, then I lose her for a little bit while she goes to play and I work with Charger, and then she comes back and we do the other supplemental activity for the day and/or re-play an activity she liked.  We usually come back in the afternoon to finish whatever we didn’t cover in the morning, or do more re-play as well.

This program is just so perfect for a three year old, it seems like it was written by other three year olds for their peers to enjoy.  Thank goodness that there are educational experts who have studied child development…I have a strong suspicion that they were consulted on this program.

Horizon has exceeded my expectations with this program.  I have always enjoyed their colorful pages and activities.  This is about to become my favorite Horizon program, and I am only going to get to use it once!  At least we are going to get to use it and love it well for the next nine months – I can’t wait to see how our littlest Sweet Pea blossoms with this program.

Pf3s03

One week of print materials – Horizon Preschool for Threes by Alpha Omega Publishing