Category Archives: Birth

Thoughtful Thursday: DO use your BRAIN

As a mom, a childbirth educator, a consumer of health care and a doula, I am sad for THIS mom and her doula.  It reads like a story of a naive mom and an over-reaching doula; a hospital staff that missed warning signs in labor.  Thank God and the care providers who were on top of their game, the baby sounds like she is thriving today despite her rocky start.

How terrible to learn the hard way that a doula is NOT a medical professional. I am sad that her doula did more than facilitate her decisions by asking open-ended questions.  The doula influenced and made medical decisions.

There are many GOOD and GREAT doulas out there who understand their role as a support person ONLY.  Besides labor support, doulas are knowledgeable about pregnancy and birth based on their education, continued reading, and client experiences.

A good doula will share information (i.e., articles or good studies to read for both the pro and con of every option/consideration/intervention) and she will ask questions.  A good doula may share past experiences from previous clients, and she will NEVER decide for her client.

It is up to the client to use their BRAIN.  In short, what are the Benefits-Risks-Alternatives? What does my Intuition say? What will happen Next if I say yes, or what happens if I do Nothing?

It is up to each family to question more and trust less.  True informed consent means reading, educating, and asking questions, not just blindly following advice – be it medical or otherwise.  Even medical professionals can give you bad advice, and not because they are evil. They may be slow to catch up on evidence-based care while doing CYA to keep their insurance companies happy. Doctors have their biases, too, usually based on previous outcomes.  Their reasons are worth listening to – they are after all, professionals with years of education and experience.

What if their practices and/or malpractice insurance carriers are not caught up to evidence-based care as per American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG)?  I encourage all pregnant mothers to read up on ACOG guidelines* so that you know what the current practice standards are.  If your care provider is not following the guidelines as set forth by their professional organization, ask them why.  And LISTEN to the answers so you can weigh the information against what your intuition and research is telling you.

It is the responsibility of every parent to weigh the benefits, risks, and alternatives to all the information they are receiving BEFORE they make a decision, whether it’s for their care or their children.

I will offer these words of caution: if someone on your care team is setting up an “us vs. them” mentality, it is a red flag to RUN the other way get more information. Pregnancy care is definitely a team effort. If someone says otherwise, whether it’s the doctor, midwife and/or the support team – some part of the story is is missing. Find out what their history is if you can, decide if it’s something you can work around, and if not, build a new team.

My little equation:
Childbirth Education + Supportive Care Providers + True Informed Consent = Empowered Birth

Making true informed consent decisions are part of the equation in empowered birth.  In addition, choose your care providers wisely – both the medical and support team should be willing to work with you for a Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby outcome.  Another part is to set yourself up for success: eat well, exercise, meditate (relaxation practice), avoid harmful substances, educate yourself on the process (Bradley Method® classes cover all these topics). Having a good foundation for what is normal, the variations, and true complications of pregnancy and childbirth will help inform you as you make decisions about your care.

Will every birth play out just as you imagined?  NO WAY.  However, by following the above equation, I believe that every family CAN have a birth experience that they are proud of: they know that they did all they could to have the birth they planned for, they recognized the forks in the road, they made carefully considered decisions as a team, and proceeded with the informed choices that yield a Healthy Mom AND Healthy Baby.

What are your thoughts on doulas, doctors and informed consent?

Want more info in evidence-based care? Read my feature article in the ICAN Clarion, a quarterly newsletter HERE,  Usually only available on a subscription basis, this issue was made public in honor of Cesarean Awareness Month.

*ACOG publications – three to start with
Term is redefined as 37-42 weeks
Reducing the primary cesarean rate
VBAC guidelines

 

Tuesday Tips: Cleaning House

The meeting down at the State Capitol yesterday was great, and besides an action plan, some Arizona homebirth advocates took time to meet with several Senators.  I am relieved to report that things are looking MUCH better.   If you would like to get involved in this very important work, please visit the Rights For Homebirth facebook page.  Regular updates offer action steps to take to keep the pressure on as we strive to Kill the Bill SB1157.

To go along with the theme of “Cleaning House” and getting rid of nasty bills, I thought I would share this website with you today.  It has been the source of most of our “green clean” recipes that we are using for non-toxic house cleaning.  It is written by Dr. Bronner’s granddaughter, Lisa, and she shares cleaning tips as well as anecdotes about her colorful grandfather’s life and times.  Definitely a useful and enjoyable site if you are a fan of Dr. Bronner’s Pure Castile soaps like we are.

Going Green With A Bronner Mom

And with that, I am off to start the day…I came home from the meeting yesterday and started pulling together documents for the Rights For Homebirth group to use as we continue to advocate and lobby the Senators to pledge a NO vote on SB1157.  The Sweet Peas had a free day which they loved! It all worked out.  Now it is time to do some double-duty in our homeschool, and head off to one of our favorite monthly events this morning.

Wishing you a great day!

What is your favorite DIY cleaner recipe?

 

Home Birth Rights in Arizona and SB1157

2013:
The consumers in Arizona worked REALLY hard and through the legislative process to update the rules and regulations that govern home birth.  A Midwifery Scope of Practice advisory committee and the Arizona Department of Health Services worked together for countless hours to revise the rules and regulations governing Licensed Midwives. The rules were finalized in July of 2013. Because of those revisions to the rules, home birth midwives are able to attend VBACs, starting July of 2014. HERE are the revised statutes as they stand today.

2014 Update:
Senate Bill 1157 (SB1157) was dropped in January 2014.  If passed as proposed, it would make it a prohibited practice from here forward for midwives to attend VBAC (new practice under revised rules & regs), breech (midwives have always been able to do with doctor consultation), and multiples (midwives are not currently able to do anyway).  It also seeks to influence the way in which midwifery rules are revised to make them even more onerous to change in the future.

My initial reaction left me with an incredible headache and heartache.  We did not spend hours organizing and following due process to have a “little language change” affect the rights for home birth that were achieved with respectful dialogue and thoughtful consideration.  After sleeping on it, I got involved and started writing letters and making phone calls yesterday.

As consumers of healthcare, we must ALL speak up for our right to self-determination.  I encourage you to get involved.  If you are willing to take a stand with us, please scroll down to find the  contact information for the representatives we are seeking to respectfully influence.  The key words are To Be Respectful.  We want to add to the dialogue and present ourselves as the informed, albeit passionate, people that we are.

Here is the body of the letters that I wrote to the sponsors of the bill, as well as to the State Senate Health & Human Services committee members:

SB 1157 is taking away our freedom to access the healthcare provider of our choice. Our options as consumers of healthcare are being limited.  This bill will eliminate access that was deemed safe and effective by Director Humble and the Midwifery Scope of Practice committee after many hours of testimony and a thorough evaluation of the most current scientific reviews of evidence-based maternal healthcare.

The right to self-determination is exactly what the women of Arizona spoke up for when it comes to our right to birth at home.  Two years ago, we, the people, organized a position statement, the process of law ruled, and the Midwifery Scope of Practice Committee was formed. Director Humble presided over open, transparent government proceedings and listened to hours of testimony, evidence and the voice of the people.   The committee thoughtfully considered all the evidence and revised the scope of practice.  They agree that in most situations, we the consumers, have the right to choose our provider, and we can choose a hospital, a birth center or the privacy of our home.

As a consumer, I, and others like me, are seeking alternatives to “modern medicine”.  One reason is because forty-seven countries do a better job at keeping women and children alive in childbirth than we do.  Home birth in the USA accounts for less than 1% of the national statistic when it comes to maternal care. Midwifery care is not responsible for the deplorable state of the maternal health care system.  We will not “lay down” any more.  We will use our voices and be heard. The bill to limit our choices as an “emergency measure” is the government entering our homes, our lives, and limiting our freedoms once again.

You may be thinking, “This is just a very vocal minority of passionate women”.  As one consumer wrote, “Even if we are a minority, our country and the government [were] designed in order to protect the rights of the minority against tyranny from the majority. The majority of women may want to march in and out of hospitals, but that doesn’t mean that I, as a part of the minority, should be cattle-prodded into the hospital machine against my informed decisions.”

Please do not limit our choices, our right to choose our provider.  We are intelligent, college-educated women choosing home birth.  There is nothing “lay” about midwives in Arizona as a whole.  Midwives in Arizona are required to sit for a national licensing test – we are making the informed decision and choosing trained, professional providers.

Please re-consider your position on SB 1157.  This bill is eliminating access to safe and effective health care for families that want to birth at home.  All Arizona families, women and infants deserve equal rights wherever they choose to birth.

Respectfully,
Krystyna Bowman
Chandler, AZ

Note: to the committee members I wrote “Please vote NO on SB 1157,” instead of, “Please re-consider your position on SB 1157. ” 

List of research on home birth:
http://www.mana.org/research/section-a-best-available-studies-grouped-by-design-level-of-evidence

Maternal Mortality Rates:
https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2223rank.html

Home birth in the USA:
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db84.htm

How to get involved: Call, Write, Fax, Tweet!! Thank you for your help – we appreciate you adding your voice to our concerns.

Find your state legislators and tell them you oppose SB 1157:
http://www.azleg.gov/alisStaticPages/HowToContactMember.asp

SB 1157 sponsors:
Senators
Dr. Kelli Ward
Republican – District 5
1700 W. Washington
Room 306
Phoenix, AZ 85007
Phone Number: (602) 926-4138
Fax Number: (602) 417-3165
kward@azleg.gov

John McComish
Republican – District 20
1700 W. Washington
Room 307
Phoenix, AZ 85007
Phone Number: (602) 926-5898
Fax Number: (602) 417-3020
jmccomish@azleg.gov

Representatives
Eric Meyer
Democrat – District 11
House of Representatives
1700 W. Washington
Room 121
Phoenix, AZ 85007
Phone Number: (602) 926-3037
Fax Number: (602) 417-3111
emeyer@azleg.gov

David W. Stevens
Republican – District 25
House of Representatives
1700 W. Washington
Room 312
Phoenix, AZ 85007
Phone Number: (602) 926-4321
Fax Number: (602) 417-3146
dstevens@azleg.gov

David Livingston
Republican – District 22
House of Representatives
1700 W. Washington
Room 341
Phoenix, AZ 85007
Phone Number: (602) 926-4178
Fax Number: (602) 417-3154
dlivingston@azleg.gov

 

TWITTER:
The sponsors of SB1157 can be reached on Twitter at
@kelliwardaz
@JohnMcComish
@DrEricMeyer
@LivingstonLD22

 

Health & Human Services Committee:
Nancy Barto – Chairman
Republican – 15
1700 W. Washington
Room 307
Phoenix, AZ 85007
602-926-5766
nbarto@azleg.gov

Kelli Ward – Vice-Chairman
(see info listed above)

Ed Ableser
Democrat – District 26
1700 W. Washington
Room 303A
Phoenix, AZ 85007
602-926-4118
eableser@azleg.gov

David Bradley Democrat – 10
1700 W. Washington
Room 313
Phoenix, AZ 85007
602- 926-5262
dbradley@azleg.gov

Katie Hobbs
Democrat – 24
1700 W. Washington
Room 308
Phoenix, AZ 85007
602- 926-5325
khobbs@azleg.gov

Judy Burges
Republican – 22
1700 W. Washington
Room 302
Phoenix, AZ 8500
602- 926-5861
jburges@azleg.gov

Kimberly Yee
Republican – 20
1700 W. Washington
Room 302
Phoenix, AZ 85007
602- 926-3024
kyee@azleg.gov

Thoughtful Thursday: Birth Vocabulary

So there were two articles back to back in my news feed this morning….

First this one:

Gold Coast Hospital reduces caesarean rate by helping expectant mums overcome their fears of natural birth

But after being given time to talk through her fears with obstetrician Anne Sneddon and then with midwife Jenny Fenwick, Ms Watts says her “faith has been restored” in natural deliveries with the birth of her second son, Gyan, a month ago.

“They talked about how to labour, what would be the best position, what I could do that would reduce pain relief,” she said. “I didn’t even ask for gas, whereas I was asking for gas in my first birth and I was asking for an epidural.”

Dr Sneddon credited drops in caesarean rates to a range of changes, including the identification of anxiety in some women and linking them with the one obstetrician and midwife in a “continuity of care model” to work through their fears.

Read the article here: http://bit.ly/1alpzRy

And then this one:

Do I Need a Yurt to Have a Natural Birth?

Giving birth is scary — especially if you have never done it before. I remember looking down at my giant, pregnant belly, and thinking the laws of physics were a lie. I knew the baby would come out, but the suggested hole did not make any sense. Giving birth to a human seemed about as likely as regurgitating an entire watermelon. In fact, I was so nervous I’m sure I would have preferred if the baby came out my mouth.

Read the whole article here: http://huff.to/1alrm9k

While the author,  Toni Nagy, goes on to explain that she did have a natural birth in a hospital, and offers for decent tips on how to achieve that; if I was a mama freaked out about natural birth, that first paragraph alone would not encourage me to read down to the bottom of the article to read her natural birth tips.  I would probably read that first paragraph and say to myself, “Thank goodness for epidurals!!”

There are care providers and birth spaces that support a mother’s birth choices – it is our role as consumers to find them.  When we do, and have transformative birth experiences, I really invite those of us who have had empowered births to start talking about them with empowering words.  If we had a natural birth, an appropriate use of an epidural, a cesarean by choice, basically, choices that we feel good about, start telling people about that birth experience.  Use other words that are encouraging, even if “fear” and “scary” were part of your story, make sure you share that you transcended and came out on the other side with a Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby outcome.

I define an Empowered Birth as:

A mother working together with her support team and a care team that are invested in a Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby outcome.  As much as possible, they honor her birth wishes, help her make informed consent decisions regarding her care if/when there are decision points, and there are no regrets about the path of labor or the outcome.

In our own experience, Empowered Birth can be:

      • Transformative
      • Empowering
      • A Rite of Passage
      • A Learning Experience
      • An Amazing Experience

After reading those articles this morning, I will definitely make more of an effort to use those words when we go to birth events, meetings, or in general conversation when it comes up.

What kind of words do you use to describe your birth experience??

Remembrance Day

It seems trite to name today a “tip” day, although I have included links for more information at the end of today’s post.

October 15th is recognized as the day when those of us who have lost children in pregnancy and infancy honor their memory.  It is a day to acknowledge their presence in our lives.  Even if we never got to hold them, their passage through our lives leaves us changed forever.

We hardly ever talk about it – especially as Bradley teachers, the last thing want to do is freak our students out with stories of miscarriage.  Since it is part of our family story, I record it here for our children to read when they are ready.

I bought hardly anything with our first pregnancy because I bled the whole time.  I dreaded our baby showers.  I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.  When we did have a healthy baby at the end of months of “pelvic rest” and bed rest, and I resolved to enjoy my next pregnancy.

We found out we were pregnant a few days before we left on a vacation.  I had originally noticed that Puma (then 18 months) wasn’t very interested in nursing – she said my milk tasted salty.  Then I took a pregnancy test – positive!  We were so excited, we called my mom and my sister right away.  We called the doctor to find out if it was safe to travel – they gave us the all clear, and we set a “pregnancy confirmation” appointment upon our return from vacation.

So off we went on our plane trip.  About three days in, I started bleeding.  Not just brown discharge – red bleeding with cramping.  We called our doctor again – they said there was nothing to do.  If it was heavy, they suggested we go to an E/R to make sure we didn’t need a D&C.  It wasn’t too much more than a menses, and it stopped over the next couple of days…it was clear what had happened.  The confirmation came when Puma resumed breastfeeding on her normal schedule because my milk tasted good to her again.

My heart broke!  I had taken a risk and bought a little outfit for the baby at our destination (which is still set aside; I never had the heart to put it on our other children).  I had signed and mailed a postcard with the name “Baby Bowman”.  I had loved this baby already and had let myself get excited.  There are no words that can capture the emotions I felt over the next few weeks.

The passage of time has helped.  I still wonder what that baby would have been like if it had been healthy and made it to term.  It would have been a Spring baby – the one season we are missing in our family birthday calendar.

Seven years later, I can say I have gratitude for the experience.  I am so grateful it was a first trimester loss.  Since then, we have had friends experience loss after they were showing their pregnancy; after they had felt their baby’s movements.  As a birth-worker, there are friends of mine have held sacred spaces with families who lost babies during childbirth.  Given the grief I felt when our early-term pregnancy ended, that kind of loss is unimaginable to me. When I was pregnant with Otter, I heard three birth stories that ended with loss…our experience leaves me grateful that we were spared the pain these families felt, and may still feel very keenly.

The hardest thing for me, with any loss, is that life goes on.  Inside, I feel torn up – I want to scream with the grief, and about injustice that has been done.  Yet the world does not know that there is a hole in my heart, a void in the pit of my body, an emptiness that is so overwhelming that all I want to do is roll up in a ball and just be away, curled up in the dark.  It expects me to be sane, normal, kind and reasonable.  My children expect to see their mommy just as she has always been.

If nothing else, our experiences with loss, miscarriage and otherwise, have vividly illustrated the platitude that says we should be kind to one another since we cannot know what kind of baggage other people are carrying.  They are not just pretty words anymore.  That person who doesn’t return your smile – who doesn’t coo at your sweet baby – who can’t be bothered to hold the door – who doesn’t realize they just cut you off.  Give them space, whether you think they deserve it or not.  If they are being jerks, that is their Karma.  If they are truly in pain over a loss they have experienced, your kindness is a ripple of love that may reach them subconsciously – just a little more love to fill their “love tank” in a world where they feel a huge void of love.

I wish all of you that have experienced miscarriage, pregnancy loss, or infant loss much peace today.  I pray that your spirit will be filled with a “peace that surpasses all understanding”. (Phil 4:7)

While I believe that we are on this Earth to make a difference, and I want to live every day to the fullest, I am not going to lie.  I am also biding my time and waiting for the day when I get to meet all these beautiful heavenly children that we never got to meet here on earth.

While there is no day to remember all those children lost to abortion, I love this image and wanted to share it today, too. Click on picture for link to the story about the artist and her vision.

While I do not know of a day to remember all those children lost to abortion, I love this image and wanted to share it today, too. Click on picture for link to the story about the artist and her vision. *This is not a political statement* Simply a recognition that some of those mothers feel loss, too.

Do you want to support someone who has experienced a loss?  Here are some places to start reading about grief support?

Bereavement and Support Website for Care Providers and Families
http://www.babylosscomfort.com/
“Women who have suffered the loss of a baby are postpartum mothers too. Miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death leave women requiring not just emotional but also physical support.”  This site offers words to share and comfort, healing gifts, and links to more resources.

Owl Love You Forever
http://owlloveyouforever.com/
Our hope is to create a memorable and positive hospital experience for families that lose their baby before, during, or shortly after giving birth.  We provide boxes with meaningful items for the families, including specially designed blanket sets and a soft stuffed owl.  Help us fill these grieving mom’s arms by donating online today.

Have you experienced pregnancy loss?  Here are some resources that our students have found helpful:

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep 
http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/ 
They offer the free gift of professional portraiture and remembrance photography to parents suffering the loss of a baby.  “The NILMDTS Foundation is there for parents and families to help aid them in their Healing, bring Hope to their future, and Honor their child.  It is through Remembrance that a family can truly begin to heal.”  They feel that these images serve as an important step in the family’s healing process by honoring their child’s legacy.

Arizona Perinatal Loss Bereavement Resource, Banner Desert Medical Center
1400 S. Dobson Road, Mesa, 85202
480-512-3595
Provides a network of support for those experiencing a pregnancy or infant loss. This resource gives parents a statewide network of support, current bereavement literature on a variety of topics, educational opportunities and resources in the community, state and national level.

The Compassionate Friends
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx
The Compassionate Friends is to assist families toward the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child at any age and to provide information to help others be supportive.   They offer a safe place for bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings to meet and talk freely about your child and your grief issues.

M.I.S.S. Foundation
www.missfoundation.org
The M.I.S.S. Foundation provides immediate and ongoing support to grieving families through community volunteerism opportunities, public polic y and legislative education and programs to reduce infant and toddler death through research and education.

M.E.N.D. Mother’s Enduring Neonatal Death
http://www.mend.org/ 
M.E.N.D. (Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death) is a Christian, non-profit organization that reaches out to families who have suffered the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death.

HAND Helping After Neonatal Death
http://www.handonline.org/ 
HAND is a resource network of parents, professionals, and supportive volunteers that offers a variety of services throughout Northern California and the Central Valley.

SHARE Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc
http://www.nationalshare.org/ 
The mission of Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc. is to serve those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first few months of life.

A christian site for baby loss:
http://www.sarahs-laughter.com/

Glow In The Woods
http://www.glowinthewoods.com/ 
This website deals with all kinds of baby loss.  There is also lots of helpful advice for things you may have to deal with depending on the stage of loss like stopping lactation, planing a funeral, and how to help others going through a loss.

BOOKS
Picture Book: “We Were Gonna Have A Baby, But We Have An Angel Instead”
http://www.amazon.com/Were-Gonna-Have-Angel-Instead/dp/0972424113/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1315324134&sr=8-1

Book: Empty Cradle, Broken Heart
http://www.amazon.com/Empty-Cradle-Broken-Revised-Edition/dp/1555913024 
The heartache of miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death affects thousands of U.S. families every year. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart offers reassurance to parents who struggle with anger, guilt, and despair after such tragedy. Deborah Davis encourages grieving and makes suggestions for coping. This book strives to cover many different kinds of loss, including information on issues such as the death of one or more babies from a multiple birth, pregnancy interruption, and the questioning of aggressive medical intervention. There is also a special chapter for fathers as well as a chapter on “protective parenting” to help anxious parents enjoy their precious living children. Doctors, nurses, relatives, friends, and other support persons can gain special insight. Most importantly, parents facing the death of a baby will find necessary support in this gentle guide. If reading this book moves you to cry, try to accept this reaction. Your tears merge with those of other grieving parents.

A purpose of this book is to let bereaved parents know that they are not alone in their grief. With factual information and the words and insights of other bereaved parents, you can establish realistic expectations for your grief. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart is meant to help you through these difficult experiences by giving you things to think about, providing suggestions for coping and encouraging you to do what you need to survive your baby’s death. Whether your baby dies recently or long ago, this information can be useful to you.

Book: “An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination: A Memoir”
http://www.amazon.com/Exact-Replica-Figment-My-Imagination/dp/B004WB19VC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1315324059&sr=8-1

Placenta Encapsulation – Wendy Diaz, PBi™ PES
naturallybirthing@cox.net
Her encapsulation services are free for bereaving mothers.  Wendy will also add herbs to the capsules that help dry up the milk supply.

Book: About What Was Lost: 20 Writers About Miscarriage, Healing, and Hope
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/427371.About_What_Was_Lost

ONLINE GROUPS
Faces of Loss Faces of Hope
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Faces-Of-Loss-Faces-Of-Hope/128929057151139

Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss
https://www.facebook.com/miscarriage

Angel Baby – Miscarriage and loss
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Angel-Baby-Miscarriage-and-loss/120451244647218

Thoughtful Thursday: The “Journey”

Being at MommyCon last Sunday, hearing the great speakers, seeing all the naturally-minded mamas, families, and companies…it was such a great way to start the week.  Lots of talk about birth – breastfeeding – parenting – choices.  The theme that ran through all the speeches, although I think very much unplanned, was about the cycle of things, and the journey we are on.

I followed that day up with a coaching session with Blue Russ on Monday…it really brought my “journey” into technicolor.  She asked me some hard questions – some I don’t have an answer to yet.  The word journey is used in so many platitudes about life and living…yet I look at where I am today and I see it.

I am on a path that I don’t want to leave, yet in order to continue to grow, I have to move onto the next chapter, way station, season, turn the corner…what ever you want to call it.  There is so much that I love about pregnancy, labor, birth, breastfeeding, infancy…so much that is unique, irreplaceable and it cannot be duplicated.  I don’t know what I am going to find that meets the satisfaction I find in that life cycle.

And yet, reality sinks in.  We can’t possibly keep adding children infinitely.  Our respective ages as parents (both 40+), our financial stability, our goals for our family…it feels like it is time to stop having children.  I see our children’s insatiable desire for the things they love – they want more dolls, Legos, what ever their obsession du jour is.  I reflect and wonder, and find the lesson – am I the cause of this?  Is my seemingly insatiable desire for more pregnancy-birth-breastfeeding-babies rubbing off on them?

My eyes are starting to well with tears as I write this.  This sharing with you – the rawness at my core – I am hoping it will be one more step in starting to leave this path of “the baby craze clock ticking” phase, and move onto the path of “growing with the children” phase.

I am getting used to the fact that my breastfed toddler is it.  There will be no more babies to take her place at the breast when she weans.  We are going to move on as a family, and she will never get to be a big sister to a biological sibling.

So what am I grateful for as a mourn this transition?  I am grateful for our four healthy children.  I am grateful for the ability to have children.  I am grateful for the most amazing spouse I could have dreamed of – he is just right for me.  I am grateful that we live in a time and a place where we can teach, and help other families learn about the things that have made such a difference to us as parents.

So today, I have taken one more step toward being okay with not being pregnant again.  Please accept my thanks for letting me share this with you.  And please understand why I may tear up when I see you holding your sweet, smiling infant.  It’s just because I love what you two have – and I wish you all the best on your journey.

Upcoming Event: Healthy Happy Baby Expo

I am so excited to announce the Healthy Happy Baby Expo coming up next Saturday, September 21, 2013.  We sat down with organizer Kim Swayman, owner of the Healthy Baby, Happy Earth store in Glendale, AZ.  Please read our interview with her over on Sweet Pea Birth‘s today.

Although it is billed as a “Baby Expo”, there will be plenty there for parents of older children.  Along with the usual fare of Breastfeeding Q&A, babywearing, and car seat safety, some of the other sessions are:

  • Protecting Your Little Explorer – Session taught by Nancy Dastrup, owner of Arizona Childproofers
  • Helping Siblings Adjust – Taught by Youth Etc. – Valley Clinical Services
  • Nutrition – Baby’s First Year- Presented by Lisa Ingermanson RD,CLC – Easter Seals Southwest Human Development
  • Fostering a Love of Reading – Offered with Michelle Clark from Babymoon Inn – she is known for creating early literacy play spaces in over 20 libraries and for providing training on early literacy across the country

Check out the complete listing at the event website, http://www.healthyhappybabyexpo.com.  I just got a note from Kim that the Comfort Measures Class offered by my colleague is full, and we are adding a second session.  It is definitely a great idea to pre-register for these free classes, save your seat, and get the most out of your day!!

Will we see you there?  We will be there in the afternoon after we teach our Bradley™ “Next” class.  Leave me a comment and let me know if we should look for you.

Rally to Improve Birth – TODAY

Whether or not you were able to make it to your local Improving Birth Rally, anyone can participate in the Virtual Rally to Improve Birth.

Here are some pictures I am sharing today to show solidarity with the families that are out under the elements today to rally for an evidence-based care maternity system.  Thank you to everyone who came together to make the rallies happen in all fifty states and three other countries!!

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