Wordless Wednesday: Family Stories

Here are some images that I feel epitomize our family, plus a lovely alumni student/reader share.  Thank you, J, for your generosity!

BLOG ww 1120 spf.2

An SPB alumni family

BLOG ww 1120 spf.1

Classic: Bruss is proud as punch and ready for a Proud Papa picture, I can’t take my eyes off the baby!!

BLOG ww 1120 spf.3

Meeting Night Owl for the first time – she did then, and still loves, holding babies

BLOG ww 1120 spf.5

Puma meets Charger for the first time; Night Owl isn’t sure what to make of things yet – it’s first time being “big”

BLOG ww 1120 spf.6

Puma is holding Charger while Daddy and Night Owl get a good look at our newest family member of 2009.

BLOG ww 1120 spf.8

Wide awake and enjoying our newest family member after our home birth…

BLOG ww 1120 spf.7

And Coach Bruss, sans endorphins, is wiped out – snuggling with Charger this time.

BLOG ww 1120 spf.6a

Summer 2012

BLOG ww 1120 spf.9

Halloween 2013

 

Sleep Happens

I was contacted by a sleep coach recently.  I went to her website, read through it, contacted some IBCLC’s I know, thought about it some more, and then after much contemplation, I have a path forward.  Now I just have to write back.

In the meantime, I have run across a couple of blogs that talk about sleep, I have revisited my Pinterest board to find articles about sleep, and reflected on what I know from my experience, and the insight I have into Cassandra’s journey with night nursing.

I don’t think anybody will ever convince me that training your infant child to sleep through the night is a good thing.  Here are two articles I like to share that explain why getting an infant to sleep through the night, when it hasn’t been a milestone they reach on their own, can actually be dangerous.

  • THIS one from Organic Baby Atlanta
  • THIS one from Yahoo! Voices

A student’s answer in reply to THIS post I shared inspired me to write today’s blog post.  Here is her comment (shared with permission):

“I don’t agree with this article being so adamant about it being normal to be so tired and an emotional wreck. I think that’s dangerous to say; because if you feel like that, you need support, and to adjust your lifestyle to compensate. Not just say it’s normal and suffer.”

So while you will probably not find me as a sleep training advocate, I do agree that families have to have a strategy to get the sleep they need so all the adults are fully-functioning during the waking hours: physically, mentally and emotionally stable as they go about their lives with a newborn.  Upon more reflection, I have come up with five suggestions for you to “try on” or “toss”, as needed.

1. EVALUATE
There are no easy answers.  I really encourage our students and friends with babies to trust their heart when it comes to their child.  I recognize that some ideas from The Experts are worthwhile, so try/take what you need and works for your family, without breaking your heart in the process.  Then, toss the books, The Experts, and Read Your Child.  How is their temperament?  Their growth? Are the reaching milestones?  Does what you are choosing feel right for you, and right for your child?  Are they at/around a milestone time?  Believe it or not, learning new skills can mess with sleep as much, if not more, than teething!

In addition to that – how are you?  Do you have the support you need?  Are you connecting with other mothers in similar situations?  Have you formed a mama tribe? Are the people around you supportive? And if not, are you okay with your decisions? ARE YOU WAKING YOUR PARTNER UP TO HELP WITH CARE??

2.  ENGAGE YOUR PARTNER
I emphasize the last questions because parenting is a team gig.  You cannot parent in a vacuum.  If there are two of you in the home, then the two of you need to participate in care.  We often hear, “But they have to go to work in the morning.” *crickets* SO DO YOU.

Whether mothers work at home, or work outside of the home, we have to show up, too.  Not zombie mama, tired mama, yelling mama…I can honestly say I hate it when she shows up at my house…so ironic as I write the wee hours of the morning in AZ.  Lucky for me, I am a 6-hr a night type of gal, and since I fell asleep at 8:00 pm, things are looking good for today.  Anyway, I digress.

Your best mama is needed every day.  So wake up your partner and have them help you if your baby (or child of any age) is still waking through the night.  Both of you are invested in your child, and this night waking thing is temporary.  Trust me, it too, shall pass.  We literally slept in shifts for a brief period last year.  It was crazy while we were in it; looking back, I am glad it’s over; and I can see now that it truly was temporary.

 

Sometimes it helps to get a routine going, and you can both get back to sleep.  THIS article has great tips on training your infant’s circadian rhythms without resorting to cry-it-out methods.  Our “infant” routine consisted of the baby waking, being passed off to Bruss for a diaper change while I got up to use the restroom (still! because making breastmilk also requires a hydrated mama), and then I would come back to a clean, dry baby, and I would sit down to nurse.  After passing off our nursling, Bruss would head to the kitchen, fix me a high-protein snack, deliver said snack, and then he would go back to bed.  I would nurse our baby until they were back asleep(!).  With some kiddos, we used an Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper, with others we did bed-sharing, and with some, as they got older, they were lovingly cradled into the crib in our room.

We followed each child’s cues, and they got back to sleep, we got back to sleep, and life moved on.

3. MAKE SLEEP A PRIORITY
The other key that is so hard to follow is the old adage, “Sleep when the baby is sleeping”.  Yes, that means during the day, too, especially in the early postpartum days, or even when you have a toddler.  (As I sit in the middle of “being two” with Otter!)  I know: you have things to do, emails to answer, places to go.  This is written with much love in my heart: I don’t care.  I mean it – sleep when the baby is sleeping.  The best thing we ever did, and I can’t believe it took me four babies to get it right, was to take a babymoon.

We shifted priorities in our home.  For the first week, I stayed in bed with Otter.  That’s it.  It was A.Ma.Zing.  I didn’t look at the messy house, the kitchen, the scattered messes happening everywhere as our other children moved about their days.

Who else finds this image disturbing? Amazingly, I was able to let it go and enjoy our Babymoon because I was intentional about prioritizing sleep over my need to organize and sort.

Who else finds this image disturbing? Amazingly, I was able to let it go and enjoy our Babymoon because I was intentional about prioritizing sleep over my need to organize and sort.

Our bedroom was clean, our bathroom was clean, and I just closed my eyes when we took our daily walk through the house to sit outside in the sun and get some fresh air.  Other than that, all meals were brought to our room, sometime the kiddos picnicked with us, other times, I ate while I snuggled with Otter and fell right back to sleep.

Most partners can take a week off of work if a grandparent is not able to help out in the postpartum period.  Whoever it is, let them take care of you, and take care of the other children, while all you do is sleep, sleep, and sleep between breastfeeding your infant.  If you can take more than a week, do it.  Other world cultures practice a 40-day period of rest and recovery.  If that is not your reality, know that getting rest and letting your body have a surge of healing time through your first week can make the rest of the postpartum period easier to handle.  Facing it as a rested person, and not a zombie, does wonders for your perspective.  Need more convincing?  THIS article from Birth Without Fear makes a great case for Mothering the Mother.

Newsflash:  There are great ways to make technology work in your favor and release any feelings of having “to do” something with anything that clicks.  Set up your email with an “Out of Office” auto-reply announcing your babymoon, and offer an alternative mode of contact if someone feels their business is urgent enough to warrant an immediate response.   Almost all social media platforms now have a “cover photo” option that pops up when people search for you.  Write an announcement and make it your “cover” to let people know you will be out of touch, soon to return.  And lastly, if you blog, enlist other people to write for you.  I had four wonderful teachers from my mama tribe step up and write guest posts for me while we enjoyed snuggling with our Sweet Pea.  Turn everything off, and sleep when your baby is sleeping.

It Can All Wait.

4. SET BOUNDARIES
Learn to say YES.

  • To the friend who offers to set up a meal schedule.
  • To the visitor who offers to do housework (leave a list of chores they can choose from).
  • To the person who offers to leave your home and let you get some sleep.
  • What else??  Anything else that serves you, as uncomfortable as it might be to accept help.

Learn to say NO.

  • To the person who wants to come to visit during a sleep time.
  • To the person that wants you to help with something while you are on maternity leave.
  • To the outing that you can’t handle because you are too tired to go.
  • What else??  Anything else that will drain your energy reserves and keep you from sleeping.

As your baby gets older, it is so important to apply the same standards for your Yes’s and your No’s.  Avoid the temptation to fill your day full of activities, classes, and play dates *every* day.  Many of our students Just Say No to events that happen during nap time .  I am so proud of them, even if it means that we won’t get to see them or their Sweet Peas.

5. ENLIST HELP
Another option in the postpartum period that is increasingly available is hiring a Postpartum Doula.  These women are trained in the postpartum care of a family.  To quote a doula we interviewed, “…what I do is much more than taking care of infants; a Postpartum Doula offers education, companionship and in-home support for families with infants.” They can be available to do light housework, prepare meals, care for the baby while you sleep, and some are even trained lactation counselors who can help identify and troubleshoot any breastfeeding challenges you may have.  Want to learn more?  HERE is the full interview on our Sweet Pea Births blog.

Truly, these women are invested in helping you have the best postpartum experience possible, and for a very reasonable fee.  As your baby ages, and if your budget can’t afford a nanny or weekly house cleaner, consider their doula fee your monthly “treat”.  Have them come over once a month to play with your baby, prep a meal, clean the kitchen – while you take the much needed nap.  I am not sure at which point in your child’s age they would want to terminate their services.  I guess it’s a question worth asking.

Please check our Resource Page for a list of Postpartum Doulas if you are in the Phoenix, AZ area.  If not, you can check out DONA International’s registry, or doulamatch.net to connect with doulas in your geographic area.

It is my fervent hope that some of these ideas may work for you.  Everything is so much more manageable when you replace the “tired and tank empty” filter, with a “rested and tank is full” filter.

I also like learning new tips, so please feel free to share what worked for your family, or a link to your blog post about getting sleep and/or postpartum care in the comments.

What has worked for you to get more sleep in the postpartum period, or as your child develops before they start sleeping through the night?

PS: Another article I like about sleep training HERE

Monday Musings: Trust that you know

There are so many books about raising your child(ren).  There are so many experts with an idea, a book, a product to sell you that is going to solve all your childcare woes.

Except they are missing one thing.  They are missing what you know.  You, that may have carried your child for nine months.  Their DNA resides in your brain – you are literally connected to them.  If you are an adoptive family, there is still a connection that comes from living with your child.  With no preconditions or bias, you are open to receive the information that they offer about themselves.  You Know Them.

You know what you know.  Listen to what your heart is telling you.

  • Does your child fall asleep nursing?  Do you both get to sleep that way?
  • Does your child like to sleep next to you?  Can you find a safe sleeping situation so that you can stay close?
  • Does your child like to be held?  Can you find a great wrap that let’s you hold them and still tackle your List for the day?
  • Does your child leave food on their plate?  Are they developing and achieving growth milestones? And have you considered that maybe you are serving too much food?
  • Is your child refusing a certain food? Have you considered that maybe they have a food allergy and they are not being defiant or playing games?

From sleep, to feeding, to schooling, to play…everyone has an opinion.  I am going to write more about infant sleep tomorrow…these are just some thoughts that are rumbling around in my head as I research for that post.  It is so important for us as parents to Know That We Know Our Children.  No book, idea, or product has a sure-proof guarantee that it is the right thing to pursue with your child.  Only you can know that, and sometimes after trial and error.

I love the idea that I learned in La Leche League…treat all information sharing as a buffet…take what appeals to you/ works for you, and leave the rest.  Trust your instinct, love your child, and make the choices that you know are right for your family.  When you make a decision from a place of love, it is pretty hard to go wrong.

Ten Things You Don’t Know About Me…

This is one of “the games” on Facebook right now.  Since this is a sharing kind of place, and I am not “friends” with all our readers, here is what is on my mind today:

Here are 10 random things about me:

1. My earliest memories are of living in Italy. We lived there when I was 3-4.5 years old. Some of the ones that stand out: hiding from the doctor who gave me my shots, sitting next to my mom in bed when she was nursing my sister, and walking down the lane to get food from a neighboring farmer. I also remember going to a bakery for *the best* focaccia bread ever.

2. When I was little, I wanted to be a ballerina and a teacher. Although I never became a ballerina, I did pretty well as a professional ballroom dancer and in the dance “business” end, and I am teaching almost every day.  I have taught ballroom dance, dance studio staff, and business managers.  Now I teach pregnant couples and our children.

3. When I was 20, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease, a type of hypothyroidism. I was told at the time that I would probably never have children.

4. When we married, our priest said a blessing over us as part of our marriage ceremony (in Central Park, NYC!). I felt the biblical “opening of the womb”, and clearly, we have had little problems conceiving. So blessed to have carried four children to term.

5. I have a running list of questions that I would like to ask God when I cross over. If not with Him directly, I hope we all get a personal conference with someone who has a direct line to all the answers. Do you think they have a Dewey decimal system, or Wikipedia, in heaven?  Also on my crossover wish list: I am looking forward to meeting angel children that were carried and never born on earth.

6. Among “best” decisions I’ve made in my life was to join a sorority.  I am in Delta Phi Epsilon, and the women I have met and still keep in touch with are amazing, lovely, inspiring, and encourage me to be better every day.  I wish we were closer, and on my bin list is to start an alumni chapter in my area.

7. If I could do anything in the world and know I would succeed, I would like to climb Mount Everest. In reality, I hate the cold weather and I will never aspire to that, although I would like to visit Nepal someday.

8. I wish I/we had the means to give every child in need, the education they need to follow their dreams.

9. Much to Puma’s embarrassment, stories that inspire me by their great lesson, valor or sacrifice make me cry. I cry more often than I care to admit when we are reading out loud. Thank goodness that there are as many humorous stories as there are inspiring stories.

10. I still get stage fright. Before every first class of the Bradley series, my body and my mind are not friends, and I can’t eat all day long. After that first class is over, I am ravenous and excited and can’t believe that I made a big deal about it…until the next series is about to begin.

Things that I hope you all know about me: I feel blessed to have married the most perfect man for me, we love our children, and we live to make a difference. It is my/our hope that we leave a legacy for our children, and that “the dash” is a worthy one.

40thwithmylove

 

Please “play” here if you are so inclined…leave me a comment with some random facts about you – you pick the number 🙂  I would love to learn more about you!!

Thoughtful Thursday: Prioritizing

I read THIS blog post in the morning, as I was going through our twitter feed.  Here is an excerpt:

“But seeing the messy house, and walking around the cluttered rooms, and feeling exhausted still bothers me. Just because I choose the most important things, doesn’t mean leaving the less important things doesn’t suck. Just because in 20 years I will be glad I read those bedtime stories, doesn’t mean tomorrow I’m not going feel irritated that I haven’t had 10 spare minutes to change the sheets on my bed in weeks. Just because I prioritized, doesn’t mean I feel happy.

But we’ve all been told this is the path to happiness. This prioritizing and focusing is supposed to be a magic cure-all for feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. So when we still feel angry that we’re running downstairs naked because all our clean underwear is in a basket in the living room, we feel like we’re failing. And when we walk by the trash can that’s overflowing and starting to stink and want to cry, we feel like we’re doing something wrong. And when we desperately wish we could zone out in front of the tv for 10 minutes instead of listening to a Level 1 I Can Read book for the tenth time, we feel like a horrible mom.”

Here is what I want to say to this mom…

First of all, I want to send her a big hug.  I can feel her frustration, her pain, her loneliness.  If she was my friend, I would start making sure our crew brought over meals once a week.  If she wanted company, great!  We would stay and offer an adult conversation.  If not, us gal pals would drop off dinner for her family, fold a basket of laundry, and be on our way.

This is the other thing that I think we all need to hear.  YOU CAN change your routine and still be a good mom.  You CAN change your priorities for a day and your children will still remember that you read them a story every night at bedtime.

If the basket in the middle of the floor, full of laundry is driving you crazy, if the pile of stuff is making your head spin, deal with it.  Prioritizing yourself into misery isn’t serving you or your family.  Her children may be too young to help with laundry folding…so here is another idea.  You have lots of laundry baskets in the house?  Instead of a bedtime reading story, throw all your laundry somewhere where you can fold it.  At the same time, put the laundry baskets on the floor and do a living story…let all the kiddos get in their “ship” and tell you where they would go on an adventure, or narrate an adventure for them…have them sail the stormy seas (shake the baskets around and make storm noises), have them pitch the anchor, have them tell you what they discovered once they landed on firm ground….I think you get the point.  The laundry gets folded, the “story” happens, and you can reclaim your baskets afterwards to get the clean clothes back into the right places.

If we take a breath, and take a minute to think outside of our routine, we can probably come up with different ways of organizing our daily routines so that the goal of spending quality time with our children can jive with our basic needs and expectations of ourselves/home/etc.  We can consider/ try to remember routines can be malleable and fluid when we need them to be.  They do not always have to be set in stone, never to be broken.

Does anyone else get so caught up in being the perfect mom that we forget to keep in touch with our needs?  It is possible to be Krystyna, meet our family priorities, and still be a Good Mom that didn’t read the story, and didn’t do bath time.  What I did do is meet one of my basic needs (deal with “whatever else is important to us” – for me it’s clutter) and still be a good parent.   I would propose that we are even better equipped to deal with another long day ahead of us tomorrow, because our spirit is more still for having dealt with whatever was irritating us that wasn’t getting done.

I send big hugs to all the mamas out there that have been in The Hard.  The overwhelming feeling of wanting to do it all and not enough hours in the day to be everything to everyone.  The piles that seem like they are never going to go away.  They do…and so do the kids…so this is my approach: just live each day for itself, adjust priorities for that day, and remember that this is just my reality “for now”.

To quote another awesome mama, “You are a good mom.”

Wordless Wednesday: Fall Fun on SPF

Cassandra and I have been busy with our littles!  The fall is such a perfect blend of sunshine and cooler weather…here is what we have been up to with our Sweet Peas:

BLOG ww 1113 spf.1

Pumpkin Patch

BLOG ww 1113 spf.2

Enjoying the last of the berries

BLOG ww 1113 spf.3

Fires at the beach

BLOG ww 1113 spf.4

The #kookaburra at National Geographic Kids’ Club

BLOG ww 1113 spf.5

Night Owl was my big helper at the gala fundraiser set up to benefit Dignity Healthcare Hospitals in the East Valley (AZ) – Chandler Regional and Mercy Gilbert.

BLOG ww 1113 spf.6

Checking out pioneer life at the Chuck Wagon Cook Off at Tumbleweed Ranch last weekend.

Fun Family Event – Chandler, AZ

Are you in or around the Chandler, AZ area?  If so, there is an amazing educational/family/food event happening this weekend.  We are planning to get there to give the kiddos a chance to see some cowboy-style living in action!

You can find all the event details HERE

For a listing of other weekend family events, be sure to check our post today over at Sweet Pea Births.

Staying Healthy

It’s that time of year when I start to take extra precautions with our family.  We avoid high-traffic places (if we must go, we go off-peak times), we are even more vigilant about hand-washing, and we are on top of our daily dose of vitamins and minerals!!

Our chiropractor offers some very practical tips, especially important if you want to avoid the “ick” of the flu season.

Here is how our family is boosting immunity this winter:

BLOG winterize spf.1

Elderberry Syrup – some if the kiddos drink it straight (it’s very sweet!); the others add it to water and ice for a “North Pole” drink.  I know there is some debate about drinking cold things…my stance is if this works to get the elderberry in, we’ll do it.

Vitamin C Lozenges – chewable

Zinc Lozenges – disolve

Vitamin D – small capsules, easy to swallow

Fish Oils – chewables from Nordic Naturals

Juice Plus – to fill in the gaps in fresh fruits and vegetables

In addition to these, we continue to eat a whole food diet.  Our kiddos eat apples, carrots and oranges (fruit for some, juiced for others) almost every day, in addition to at least one serving of greens.  All of these foods are rich in Vitamin A, the “anti-infection” vitamin.

So far, so good.  We are into November with a couple of runny noses that are all cleared up now, and no fevers.  Praying we continue in good health!!

What does your family do to stay healthy during the winter month?

Disclaimer:
The material included on this site is for informational purposes only.  It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation.  Cassandra Okamoto, Krystyna and Bruss Bowman, and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided.  

Munchkin Meals: Food On The Go

Another month has passed and Munchkin Meals from A Healthy Slice of Life are back! Nothing remarkable has really changed with T’s meals and/or eats so I thought I would switch it up with some things he has been enjoying on the go.

Snacks are always a little hard for me — nothing *too* messy since it will end up all over him/me/the stroller/the car, needs to be something I can grab fairly quickly while trying to get us out of the house, I don’t like to default to bunnies, O’s or the like and variety is important to me since he is more of a snacker/grazer than a three meal a day kind of kid.

So what have we been taking with us these days?

Fresh Fruit 

I know, this is easy and obvious, but… it is easy and obvious! (And nutritious). Berries are still in season here on the coast but will probably be slowing down right about now. Super fast to throw raspberries, blackberries or strawberries into a snack cup & go.

20131105-184150.jpg 20131105-183949.jpg

 

Grapes are another awesome farmer’s market find these days and again, just throw into the cup & head out.

Apples, plums, and asian pears are abundant right now from one of our local favorites, Inzana Ranch. I chop the plums and pears but these little Fuji apples are such a perfect toddler snack with minimal preperation. I just peel the skin and he eats them whole.

20131105-183905.jpg It is a great car/stroller activity too and I have recently read across the internet that apples have enzymes or acids in them that are supposedly supposed to help with teething pain which is another major plus since T is currently cutting all four incisors at once (:

taking an apple out with him on Halloween!

taking an apple out with him on Halloween!

As I mentioned last month I have a love affair with bananas despite their long distance travels and nothing has changed this month. They are just so darn easy!

loves his bananas

loves his bananas

perfect for stroller rides

perfect for stroller rides

Dried Fruit

T is LOVING on raisins lately — lucky for us in addition to great fresh fruit Izana Ranch also stocks various types of yummy raisins!

this week we decided to try the "crimson"

this week we decided to try the “crimson”

These dried blueberries from Trader Joe’s are also great, nothing added — just freeze dried blueberries.

20131105-184006.jpg

 

Baked Sweet Potato Rounds

I make up a big batch of these at once and they are perfect for on the go. Cutting them in rounds makes them less squish-able then chunks and therefore less messy for us. T loves them.

20131105-183850.jpg

 

Gluten Free Grahams 

We are lucky enough to live very close to a Whole Foods & T has really been happy about these gluten free cinnamon graham crackers lately. Again, trying not to make a habit of it, but they are super easy to just throw into a snack cup and be done with it.

20131105-183936.jpg

 

Chickpeas

I forgot to snap a picture but recently I have discovered what a great snack whole garbanzo beans are! I buy the Eden Organics because their cans are BPA Free or else I make our own using dried beans. Beware, they will get stinky QUICKLY if left in a car, diaper bag, etc. but they are a nice switch up from fruit and crackers and a great source of fiber plus some protein. They are the perfect size for little toddler fingers, too.

What foods do you take for your toddlers or children when you leave the house? Do you have any go to or easy snack options? T & I both thank you in advance for any ideas (:

 

 

 

 

Tuesday Tips: An Au Natural Holiday

No, we are not running around the house naked – although I admit, you will see an occasional  naked baby bottom streaking through the house!  The title refers to today’s blog post, written as part of the Carnival of Natural Mothering 🙂



Welcome to the November 2013 Carnival of Natural Mothering!

This article is a part of the Carnival of Natural Mothering hosted by GrowingSlower, Every Breath I Take, I Thought I Knew Mama, African Babies Don’t Cry, and Adventures of Captain Destructo. This month’s topic is Incorporating Natural Into the Holidays. Be sure to check out all of the participants’ posts through the links at the bottom of this page.

November 5, 2013: Incorporating Natural Into the Holidays
As we approach the holiday season, it is easy to get swept up in preparations and anticipation. How do you bring your natural lifestyle into the holidays with you? Whether it’s eco-friendly party prep, special treats that are also healthy, traditions that involve aspects of nature, or the natural techniques you use to stay calm and focused during the busy months ahead, we would love to read your stories and suggestions that focus on all that relates to a natural lifestyle during the hustle and bustle of the holidays.

Ahh – the holidays.  I am fascinated that the season of celebrating “holy days” is also the time when we can get the most frazzled, the most frustrated, and the most hurried.  It is pretty much exactly the opposite of keeping things sacred and holy!

The most important thing I try to remember is the “reason for the season”.  Is it really important to have the best looking and tasting food, the prettiest house, the most presents; if along the way you have forgotten to be kind to others, most importantly, your children?  For a lot of us, striving for perfection layers on added stress, guilt and pressure.  By extension, we lash out at the little people who are still needing our attention outside of our huge lists of things we need to do to: shopping, cleaning, preparing, hosting…those lists go on and on and on.

There are several things I have learned along the way that help me to be more intentional and peaceful during the season of hustle and bustle.

1. Breathe.  That simple act can make a simple and profound difference.  Before I don my cape, I aim to take five deep breaths as I start the day, reflecting on the intention of that day.  I no longer carve out time for a full yoga practice in the morning…now I simply use the deep breathing techniques I learned, and I review my mantras.  I want to be sure that Peaceful Mama shows up for my kids this day, not the Crazy Mama who yells her way across the day.

2. Flower Essences.  I can’t say enough about these amazing Lotus Wei elixirs.  We discovered them a few years ago and we will be forever customers.  I keep them next to our bathroom sink so that I can breathe in peace, love and joy every time I wash my hands.  A.Ma.Zing.BLOG lotus photo

3. Simplify.  I read an article this summer that talked about what kiddos remember the most about summer vacation: ice cream and the beach.  What?! That’s easy!  It’s so easy to discount the simple things while we focus on “going” and “doing”.

I think this concept of simplicity is perfect to apply to the holiday season as well.  Sit down with your partner and identify what it is you want your children to remember about the holidays.  Better yet, ask them what their favorite part of the season is, and see if you can incorporate it as often as possible into your days.

Things to consider if you want to simplify your list – how many events will you attend in a weekend?  How can you plan your days so that you do things with your children, instead of for your children?  Do you have family traditions you want them to learn, and if so, how do they become a part of them instead of having them done to them?

4.  Let Go.  Things are transient…I don’t know if our children will remember how perfect I made things. I know they remember that I was frazzled and stressed through the holidays.  Instead of trying to do it all, we pinpoint and do the meaningful things that grow us as a person and as a family.

5. Have Fun.  When I listen to our children, it seems to me that we have forgotten one important aspect of childhood:  they are in it for the fun.  Nothing gives me greater joy than hearing their laughter, or hearing their excitement at all the beauty of the holiday season.  So while we write our lists, do our shopping, make our meals, I try to be mindful that all they want to do is have a good day.  In my mind, a “good day” means feeling loved, sharing a laugh, and having fun.  I would rather not get it all done, and instead put “doing” off for another day so we all enjoy the “living”.

So what does that look like in action?

The breathing and the flower essences mean that I turn down my volume.  When I get stressed, I get loud, and that only serves to scare our children.  That is definitely not what I want them to remember about the holiday season!!  Being mindful of my intention to “make memories” instead of “doing things” helps me to focus on the big picture of wanting the holidays to be full of peace and joy.  To me, this mindset is more in-line with the promise and the hope that was delivered in the manger in Bethlehem.

It also means we take time to read holiday stories, sing holiday songs, and make holiday cookies.  We choose to spend time with our children, each other as partners, and our family.  I think when most of us look back, what stands out is the time with our loved ones, not the gifts they gave us, or the meals that they cooked.  We strive to make the prep time as important as the actual event we are preparing for.

For us, this meant letting go of hosting two holiday parties every season.  We cut our guest list to make the one event we do host more meaningful.  Instead of staying up all night on Thanksgiving night, we hire someone to do our decorating now, and it gets done over a 3-4 day period.  That lets me sleep, which is a much better choice in the long run.  If we couldn’t afford to hire someone, we would do less.  We made that choice with our outside decorating – now we do our own lights, again over more time and with a less ambitious approach.  Less is more, right?  And, it is so fun to have our kiddos showcase “their” section of the yard they decorated.

As they get older, we invite the children to help inside the house as well, and they take ownership of that holiday tradition with pride.  We use artificial trees, which saves a tree.  We use them until they are “Charlie Brown” style to be mindful of the environmental cost of production.  Again, we are not striving for perfection.  To them, it is all wonderful and beautiful.  Letting them place ornaments and other decor where they can see them and enjoy them has become more important than having the perfect show house.

Another “natural” choice we make is to give edible gifts.  Again, the goal is to reduce “stuff”.  Here is a gift everyone enjoys, and food can be wrapped creatively without adding to the mounds of packaging that will be thrown out or recycled.  If we don’t make the treats ourselves, we shop local at a farmer’s market for yummy treats to give to teachers, friends, family, or as hostess gifts.

We also go “au natural” through the holidays by giving back.  Although we all enjoy giving gifts, we also incorporate a charity into every season.  This was a tradition started by our families that we are passing on to our children.  We read through the holiday gift catalog from organizations like Heifer International or World Vision.  We read about parts of the world where people do not live like we do, and the kiddos choose gifts from those catalogs to give to their grandparents, who are in a phase of life where they are paring down.  I think we will start doing this for them to choose gifts for each other as well – we are all toyed out over here!

How do you incorporate natural living into your family’s holiday season?

Bloggers, visit GrowingSlower to sign up to be a part of next month’s carnival.