Monday Musings: No-Candy Valentine’s Day

As I promoted my “No Sweets” post on Instagram, an interesting comment thread ensued.  In it, a discussion about how a grandchild requested a candy-free Valentine’s Day because he wants to pursue a healthier lifestyle, and a grandmother who was greatly offended and who intends to ignore/refuse his request.

It got me thinking…how would I honor this request if one of our children asked for this? In fact, how could we do a low-sweet, non-commercial candy (chemical sh**storm) Valentine’s Day?

So here is our plan:

1.  We are going to purchase fruits that can be cut with heart-shaped cookie cutters.  So far, we are up to kiwis, mango, pineapple, melons, bananas, and apples.  HERE is a way we have prepared apples before.  We may bake those, and do the rest raw…although I have heard that grilling pineapple is delicious, too.

2. For the ones that are prone to discoloration (bananas for sure, maybe the raw apples), we are going to roll them in organic cocoa powder.  THIS is the one we used for Christmas that we plan on using again (no affiliate links in this post – feel free to click).

3.  We are going to make our own chocolate dipped strawberries and kiwi pops – jury is still out on which organic chocolate I have the heart to melt – definitely NOT my Wei of Chocolate stash.  I’ll probably go with the Enjoy Life brand if I don’t find anything else.  HERE is a great how-to video on coating fruit with chocolate.  We use Spectrum Palm Shortening instead of coconut oil because coconut is another food we avoid due to allergies for the Sweet Pea Kids.

BLOG ww140514 spf.44. Last on our list, we are going to make a gluten-free, more natural version of THIS brownie recipe from the book Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld.  The recipe calls for adding in carrot and spinach purees along with the chocolate and sugar…YUM.  Besides replacing the flour with my favorite GF blend from Bob’s Red Mill, we do not use cooking sprays or margarine in our home.  We’ll adjust as needed and bake from there!

Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld

Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld

So while it isn’t going to be a no-sweet or chocolate-free for us, I appreciate the comment thread because it got me thinking about how we can have a gluten-free, non-commercial candy celebration.  It isn’t convenient, that is for sure, however, some of these things can be made ahead and frozen (kiwi pops, brownies) so that the work is spread out over a few days instead of one big day and night of preparation the day before St. Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Find us over on Instagram (SPF handle) throughout the week – Puma or I will post pictures of our progress through these ideas 🙂

Tuesday Tips: Kindly Saying No

It is one of our great privileges to be an ongoing resource to our Bradley Method® students.  Here is a question that came my way that I wanted to share today:

Hi Krystyna! Help! I’m in need of some advice.  We live in a small town where everyone knows everybody and it’s been great for so many reasons. The problem I’m having is keeping people from giving my kids candy. It happens daily. Sometimes several times a day. At church yesterday I happened to walk up just as my two year old was choking on a piece of hard candy. There are a million old ladies at church with hard candy in their purses. In fact, after a very scary 10 seconds, I was able to get the candy out of his little throat just as another old lady is handing our other son a piece of gum. I just about dropped the F-word right there. How do I, very nicely, tell these sweet old ladies to stay away from my children. Our older son is always asking for candy too, so that doesn’t help. He knows he can get it anywhere. It’s driving me crazy. The lady at the post office today handed them both a lollipop as I was getting the mail. I’m at the end of my rope. Any advice? Thanks!

When faced with situations like this, my first line of defense is humor.  I struggle with seething rage when I perceive a threat to our children, so I have had to learn to laugh first, then respond.

There are a couple of things you can say with a smile:

  • “Oh, you can’t give him that candy unless you are planning on taking him home with you….you know how sugar makes them fly off the chandeliers!”
  • “Stop right there  (Hands up where I can see them, etc.), or I’ll have to call the granny police!  Candy before lunch and he’ll be going to toddler jail!”

The other approach is just a matter of fact if you can pull it off without an angry face:

  • “Oh thank you, we can’t accept that right now – we are on our way to have lunch/snack/dinner and I do not want to ruin their appetite”

My last suggestion is to tell well-meaning gifters that your children are allergic to the ingredients in the candy. Read over this information, and you can probably make a good case that your children are allergic to the dyes in the candy: http://feingold.org/6certified.php

It is a tough place to be when people want to be kind.  I try to remember that they are operating from a place of love, especially in the situation like our student was facing.  By remembering to respond to their love with my own love, it makes it easier to replace my angry face with a smile.

How have you kindly said no to people who are giving your children unsolicited food or treats?

 

 

Friday Favorite: Bob’s Red Mill Gluten-Free Flour

We have been on the gluten-free journey for seven years now.  There was learning curve fraught with tears and desperation.  Then came the trial and error of buying almost every box and bag of all the different brands.  Followed by the economic reality of not being able to buy prepared baked goods all the time.  So we started trying out all the different mixes available.

Up until last month, my favorite brand has been the 1-2-3 Gluten-Free line.  We never went wrong with any of their boxes.  And then on a whim because it was there, I bought a bag of Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free 1-to-1 Baking Flour.  It is a little pricier than other gluten-free flour…but I thought what the heck – if it works, then it’s worth it.

BRM 1to1 Flour

Seriously – Life Changing. It Is Worth It!!

We started by making some scones with it when our kiddos had to stop eating anything with yeast in it.  YUM!

(Not to *crush* or anything…but…Bob’s Red Mill complimented us on these scones in the comments!!)

And then we made some basic rolls for Christmas that were A.Ma.Zing.  We were making them every day for a while, and we just enjoyed them for dinner again last night.  YUM.

The “icing on the cake”?  I followed a recipe in a cookbook (we-ell…kind of…more on that below) and they turned out B-E-A-Utifully!! After seven years of decent cupcakes…I now have FLUFFY CUPCAKES!!!  Life-changing, really, when you love to bake from scratch and not a box.

So here is what we made using THIS recipe from Weelicious as a starting point.

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Our modifications:

We substituted bananas in the batter because we didn’t have any beets in the house (or so I thought – just found one in the tortilla drawer of all places!)

Since one of our kiddos is allergic to cane sugar, we use THE ULTIMATE SWEETENER®  made from birch.

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Instead of using beets to color the frosting, we used frozen cherries.

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Note on using fruit juice as a coloring agent …It always comes out lighter than I imagine when I’m juicing the fruit.  We had the same challenge when we used raspberries in THIS cupcake recipe this summer.  Try using more than you think you need – probably twice as much.

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Next time I make frosting, I will use the fruit juice before adding the milk as I blend the ingredients; and then add milk as needed for a smoother consistency.

I hope you have as much baking with this flour as I do…literally a whole new world of recipes has opened up to us because now I am not limited by any boxes!!  I will definitely be trying the allergen-free I recipe I used this summer again with this flour so we can bring some rockin’ gluten-free treats for a tea-party we are attending on Sunday.

Huge thank you to Bob’s Red Mill.  I imagine they have some idea of how grateful a family like ours is to be able to bake from scratch again, or they wouldn’t have invested in the time and the energy to bring this product to market.

Why I Won’t Take Sides on the Vaccine Debate

I have been known to mention in our Bradley Method® childbirth classes that the best way for our students to blow up their social media pages is to mention one of these words: “vaccine” or “circumcision”.

True to form, I watched an alumni student’s feed blow up in a spectacular fashion last week. When I expressed sadness over the situation on my own page, and tried an attempt at tongue-in-cheek humor – wow! I had an implosion on my page. It was quite spectacular, really, in the history of my personal social media.

Quick recap to frame this post:

You may have seen the article(s) going around about a measles outbreak that seems to have originated from a contagious individual visiting Disneyland. A friend posted a link to one of those articles on her page. Then it was detonation time as people from both the pro-vaccination (“vax”) and anti-vaccination (no-vax”) camp chimed into the ensuing conversation.

A post I made expressing sadness over the name-calling and bemoaning that there are no easy answers elicited all kinds of new passionate responses, both on and off topic.

Names were called and feelings were hurt. Among those of us who know each other IRL, personal messages were exchanged to make sure that there were no lasting hard feelings.

I learned two things from the situation:

  1. I do not have the stomach or the thick skin required to take a stance on these issues on my business pages, or anything else, personal, really. I had pretty much accepted that I will never be a super-blogger because I am not willing to bleed for the sake of making a name for myself – this was the final nail in that coffin.
  1. The situation validated that I will continue to make an effort to examine conflicts from different perspectives, and to seek lessons from the situations that cross my path. It continues to be a wonderful way to step away from the emotion and see how I can grow.

I will not take sides on the vaccine debate, personally or professionally, and here is why:

  • Both sides claim to have science on their side.
  • Both sides have examples of sick and injured children.
  • Both sides have room to play the “dead baby” card.

The statement, “If you are not willing to sacrifice your child, don’t ask someone else to sacrifice theirs,” holds true for both sides of the argument, doesn’t it? Indeed, we have heard from both sides of the argument…children who experienced life-threatening or lasting complications from the vaccines they received, and children who have been compromised by the decisions of those who choose not to vaccinate. There certainly are no easy answers from where I stand.

Here is what I can and do say about all parenting decisions: Take Responsibility. This is not just my position; it is one of the tenants of what we teach as Bradley™ instructors.

As you start your evaluation process, consider exposure. Examine your family’s exposure and re-evaluate it periodically. Where do you/ your partner work? Are you exposed to a population where there might be a concern that you will bring dangerous germs back to your children? How many people are you exposed to in your daily routines? The more people you are exposed to, the more chance your child has of possibly catching anything, whether there is a vaccination for it or not.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO VACCINATE:

  • Read the package insert on the vaccine you are choosing to have your child injected with. Know the production process and the ingredients in the vaccine, i.e., if your child has an egg allergy, you may not want to vaccinate them with an inoculation that was cultured inside an egg. Also inform yourself of the possible side effects, so that if you see any, you can report them to the your doctor and the federal agency if your country has one (VAERS https://vaers.hhs.gov/index in the USA). Do not count on the information that is available on the Internet or via word of mouth from your friends. While there is a lot of information and you probably have very smart friends, only you can choose for your child. Read.
  • Talk to your pediatrician. Ask them what the vaccination was intended to treat, if it has been effective, and how your child will be cared for if they do, indeed, contract the illness against which they have been vaccinated. Is it any different than if they were unvaccinated? Has the treatment progressed and improved over time?
  • Do you know if your pediatrician accepts patients that opt for alternative vaccination schedules, or decline vaccines as a whole? Will someone coming to the office with an illness affect your ability to care for your child, or attend to work if you and/or your child are quarantined? If you are concerned about their answers, find a pediatrician who practices in line with your beliefs about vaccinations.
  • If your child’s health is compromised due to prematurity, other illnesses, or birth defects, and you choose to vaccinate, do you care if your pediatrician treats patients who are not or are alternatively vaccinated? Again, if you are concerned about their answers, find a pediatrician who practices in line with your beliefs about vaccinations.

It is up to the parent of the vaccinated child to get the answers they need to know in order to make decisions for the care and treatment of their vaccinated child.

 

IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO VACCINATE

If you are not going to vaccinate, you also have parental responsibilities that go along with that choice.

  • You have a responsibility to protect and build your child’s natural immune system. Things that may help: extended breastfeeding, a whole food diet that includes as much organic food as possible. For organic eating without breaking the bank, check out THIS article from WebMD or check out THIS blog post from the Food Babe that offers 75 tips on how to make organic eating realistic and cost effective. You may especially want to load up your child with breastmilk and/or food that is rich in Vitamin A (called the anti-infection vitamin) and Vitamin C (known to boost the immune system).
  • It is up to you to make sure that your personal hygiene is impeccable. Good hand washing is the foundation for better health outcomes. Learn, practice, and teach your children how to *really* wash their hands. HERE is an info page I like from the CDC.
  • If you suspect your child has a contagious illness for which there is a vaccination, and your pediatrician sees both vax and non-vax children, I beg you to make an appointment at the end of the day when you are not going to expose any other patients to those germs. If you have it in your heart, maybe even offer to have the space disinfected after you leave. Also have the courtesy to let the staff know that you suspect your child is experiencing symptoms of a particular disease. You are choosing to be okay with your child building up their natural immunity by experiencing illness and making a recovery. It doesn’t mean that everyone else wants to make the same choice by proxy. Be mindful that even if parents are going to vaccinate, some are cannot be administered until a child is 12+ months old. You could be exposing an infant whose consequences are *much different* than an older child experiencing the same disease.
  • If your child’s health is compromised due to prematurity, other illnesses, or birth defects, and you choose not to vaccinate, are you doing everything you can to ensure your child’s exposure is limited during critical times like cold+flu season, and throughout their childhood when they are building up their immune system? Have you exhausted all alternative therapies (chiropractic care, homeopathy, acupuncture, bodywork, essential oils) to ensure that your child has the best opportunity for a healthy life?

As I learned more about vaccines and struggled with the decisions we need to make around how to choose for our children, a midwife shared some wise words with me when I sought her counsel.  Loosely paraphrased: There are consequences with either decision. If you put something in, you may wish you hadn’t. If you don’t, you may wish you had. Which decision can you live with?  Which one lets you sleep at night?

There are a growing number of families who are choosing alternative vaccination schedules. While this post is written for the “yes” or “no” perspective to vaccines, there are middle roads. Dr. Bob Sears offers an alternative schedule in his Vaccine Book, and he also has an active social media page – check it out HERE.  Other families are choosing selective vaccination based on the diseases they feel the do/do not want to take risks with.

With whichever path you choose, make your choices, be willing to re-evaluate and change your path if necessary, and by all means respect the choices of those who choose differently. We are all reading, sometimes the same things, and coming to very different conclusions. What we have in common is making decisions for the love of our children. We all believe that we are doing what is best. And therein is the crux of every implosion you will see around the topic.

 

Namaste.

Happy New Year

Photo Credit: Amy Yellis

Photo Credit: Amy Yellis

We wish you much joy in the new year.  May you find your inner child, and run towards your dreams with love in your heart and the wind at your back.  And not only chase them…may you catch them, and enjoy the fruits of your labors <3

I have chosen to memorize the words that are attributed to St. Francis of Assisi this year, and make these 365 days ahead of me meaningful by living them out.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

I truly wish that this is not my year to be born into eternal life – there is still a lot of living left to be done with my amazing husband and our fantastic foursome.  As for the rest of it, I cannot think of a better expression of unconditional love, and that is my deepest question for this year, “How am I living love right now?”

Speaking of new beginnings:  Please join your prayers and good intentions with mine for Cassandra to have the birth she and her baby need as they become a family of four this year.
I am so excited for them, and I am so excited for T. to become the loving big brother she and Eric have nurtured in him.

Wishing you and yours a blessed and joyful new year.

Have you set any intentions or goals for 2015? What are you striving for?

Wishing You All Good Things…

Thank you to all of you who have been faithfully following the blog, and big hats off to Cassandra who has managed to keep blogging  while being beautifully pregnant and chasing around her very active toddler.

We have had a full season in the Bowman House.  The boys enjoyed soccer for the first time, and Coach Bruss got to be a soccer coach instead of a birth coach!! He really enjoyed that.  I attended my final birth for my DONA doula certification…now I just have a pile of reading to do and paperwork to turn in.  Bradley™ Day was amazing…I will try to update that site while we take a break from homeschooling so I can upload the pictures to the website…you can see them HERE for now.  And homeschooling is almost on schedule – LOL.  It has been fun watching all our children grow through these first few weeks – Otter has mad scissor skills for a 3yo, Charger is learning to read (!), Night Owl is crazy good at math and is getting more motivated to read on his own as he hears his brother learning, and Puma is just all-around awesome – she is growing in her reading, writing and math skills, as well as learning how to do some sewing handwork.

To close out the year, I want to share these holiday wishes with you…

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Angels to guide you and keep you safe on your journeys…

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Angels to guide you and keep you safe on your journeys

Starry nights to wonder at the marvel of creation and reflect on the promise of the Star of Bethlehem

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Starry nights to wonder at the marvel of creation and reflect on the promise of the Star of Bethlehem

That your holiday dreams come true…even if they don’t come to fruition exactly as you imagined, may you find creative solutions so that you remember the love and joy as you create memories.

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That your holiday dreams come true…even if they don’t come to fruition exactly as you imagined, may you find creative solutions so that you remember the love and joy as you create memories.

Time to breathe in peace amidst the hustle and bustle so that you can radiate love and calm as you walk with your Sweet Peas

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TIme to breathe in peace amidst the hustle and bustle so that you can radiate love and calm as you walk with your Sweet Peas

A year of enjoying creation with your children…more time outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air with your Sweet Peas in 2015.

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A year of enjoying creation with your children…more time outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air with your Sweet Peas in 2015.

We are setting the intention for daily walks so that we can all get our daily dose of Vitamin D and teach our Sweet Peas good habits for a lifetime of health and vitality.

I will be back in 2015 with more regular posts.  I am committing to posting at least once a week, and more often as I get parenting questions from our students and can carve out time to blog between homeschooling and the other activities the SPKs.  I have all these pictures to share with you that just haven’t made it on to the blog – we have had so much fun with our preschool playdates and those will turn into blog posts so you can see the activities we are doing.  I also have great notes to share from the Birth Without Fear Conference…OMGosh it was A.Ma.Zing.  Lastly,  I can’t wait for Cassandra to share her thoughts on parenting two after her baby arrives safely earthside and she starts writing again after their babymoon…

Happiest Holiday Wishes to you and yours!! Be sure to tag us on social media so we can see how you are enjoying your holidays with your Sweet Peas <3

Monday Musings: do I actually know what I need?

I felt fiercely private and protective of all aspects of my first birth, leading up to and then beyond my due date. I didn’t want anyone to know I was in labor, I didn’t want anyone to be there except my husband and my doula and later my midwife, I didn’t want anyone even talking out loud about their predictions or how they envisioned it unfolding for me: day/time/outcome/etc. And… it worked out well. I spent most of the day going about regularly scheduled activities and during my 5 hours of active labor and then 1 hour of pushing it was just me, my husband and my doula (and later my midwife) with nobody else being any the wiser. I had no idea what to expect and I needed to experience it by myself with no outside disturbances or distractions, I very much felt like I *knew* exactly what I needed and it seemed to be perfectly true. I wanted to focus entirely and completely on the task at hand, nothing to break my concentration. I barely talked and there was no conversation between contractions, it was all very intense the entire time – but worked well, the entire labor & birth were very efficient.

the number of days until my due date - AHHH!

the number of days until my due date – AHHH!

This time I seem to be behaving exactly the opposite. Part of it has to do with the fact that now it is not just my husband and I but our son too and he requires more, a friend will be coming over to play with him and take him in and out of the house as he wishes. This friend may have another child with her so it could not just be him running around but one of his little best friends too.

Part of it is that our living situation has changed, our location and the fact that I know longer work for a paycheck full time, my full time is now spent looking after our son. Because of this a doula was not a viable option this time, *but* my midwives have a couple of women they work with that love to come to births to lend a hand, just because they love to. I haven’t actually met them yet but told my midwife I would adore and appreciate any extra help, emotionally, physically, even just help around the house as things are much more chaotic than last time.

And then there is birth photography. Photography was not even a consideration with my first birth and the farthest thing from my mind. My doula said she would snap a few shots for me and thank goodness for her because her three or so pictures are all that I have of that day and night and I actually LOVE looking at them. A few weeks ago I saw these photos of a girl I know that lives near us and I fell completely in love. I couldn’t stop looking at them for days (she is totally going to think I am a creep the next time I see her) and when I found out the photographer is actual a home birth mama herself any reservations I had about the process were gone and I just wanted her there too.

So now the count for my birth is: my husband, my son, possibly one of his toddler friends, one of my friends, two midwives, a possible free doula I have not met and a photographer – and my house is less than 1,000 square feet. It feels completely insane yet entirely right to me all at the same time.

The other day my son & I watched this birth video and I felt even another huge shift in how I envisioned my birth.

I didn’t want it to be me in an intense, unbreakable, focused place tuning out all of the people and probably inevitable pseudo craziness around me, I want to be a part of it. I want to talk and laugh with the women around me like in the video, and I see the entire environment much more light hearted in general.

I re-read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth this pregnancy and something in it really stuck with me. I can’t remember exactly what Ina May said but it was something to the extent of not being a crazy, dramatic, shrieking woman towards your partner during labor, that they (your partner) deserve positivity and for you to be nice, not slinging insults their way, etc. She talks a lot about “relaxation of the cervical sphincter that correlated with positive and loving words spoken during the most intense phase of labor” and “how the words [you speak] affect [your] labor” and then goes on to tell stories of mothers that would tell husband, baby, midwives and the friends helping how much she loved/appreciated them and Ina May added that “[she had] never noticed anyone’s cervix remain tight and unyielding while speaking loving and positive words”

I felt that during my first birth a lot of my rest between contractions was spent anticipating and bracing myself for the next one – and I would really like to have a go at some laughter and breaks in the tension and intensity this time around.

But then I think… am I crazy? Why fix something that isn’t broken? My labor with my son was swift, straightforward and effective. Can I really get the job done in a completely different environment? Is what I see for this birth actually right for me (and subsequently baby)?

I am a very changed person since the birth of my son, I feel like a lifetime of joy, tears, love, growth and sleep deprivation have taken place in the three short years since he joined us earth side. And I am also a vessel for an entirely different human being this time. Her wants and needs may not align with her brother’s in the slightest.

And so… I am just going to trust. Trust that everything has come together exactly as it should. Trust that when I say or do something without thinking about it first it comes from a place of inner wisdom. And trust that everything is fluid, no matter how the birth environment is it can always change if I or baby need it to.

How have your births differed from child to child? Has becoming a mother once changed the way in which you give birth again?

Do you *know* what birth holds for you and your baby while pregnant? Has envisioning the kind of birth you want come true for you? I would LOVE to hear other people’s experiences <3

A Blessingway for Baby #2

Blessingways or Mother Blessings come in all different variations these days. Traditionally, the “blessing way” is a Navajo Ritual “created to spiritually support and empower the new mother for her journey of birthing and motherhood.”  They have since been adapted to honor the pregnant mother, honor the baby waiting to be born, or as a more family centered version of a baby shower.

The Sacred Pregnancy book I have been reading describes the blessingway as “a ceremony in which people bless the way of the baby and the mother as she readies herself to birth her baby into existence.”

I worked together with a great mama friend of mine to come up with what my baby and I saw our blessingway as: women close to us gathering for a relaxed afternoon tea, beading a bracelet  for me to wear before/during labor, sharing affirmations/hopes/prayers and participating in cord binding where each woman wraps a string around her wrist one or more times and then gives it to the person next to her, at once making everyone connected. Each women then cuts their cord to create a bracelet they wear until my labor is over. Prior to the birth, when they see their bracelet, they can think of me and send good thoughts. 🙂

It was such a nice afternoon with friends that traveled from all over the state to be there. They left me with a renewed perspective towards birth and shifted a lot of my tension and anxiety to excitement and joy. I thought I would recap some of the awesome affirmations and prayers that were given to me… for any other mamas to be or women with friends that will be birthing soon, let us share and pass on the wonderful feelings of empowerment and love they provided.

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This one actually came from my husband before we left for the gathering, it is so beautiful and simple, I imagine easy to recite in moments of intense labor and or doubtfulness.

“We are the boat, we are the sea. I sail in you, you sail in me.” 

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This Advice From A Tree is applicable in so many different facets of life but I am finding it so cheerful for the rest of my pregnancy, reading through it just makes me smile.

Advice From A Tree

Stand Tall and Proud
Go Out On a Limb
Remember Your Roots
Drink Plenty of Water
Be Content with Your Natural Beauty
Enjoy the View

 

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This provides such a great visualization for me that I can use in moments of weakness and doubt and I know will be useful during particularly difficult moments in labor and “transition.”

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This is especially useful for second or subsequent babies and something that helps focus my perspective that this birth and baby bring with it an entirely new experience that I know nothing about yet. I hope to honor the process with no expectations.

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“My courage is stronger than my fear”

“A women in birth is at once her most powerful, and her most vulnerable. But any woman who has birthed unhindered, understands that we are stronger than we know.”
-Marci Macari

“Breathing in relaxation. Breathing out tension” 

“she believed she could, so she did”

and my favorite of all of them…
“You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star” Friedrich Nietzsche

 

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“I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says The Lord.” Isaiah 66:9

“I am not afraid, I was born to do this.” Joan of Arc

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.” Isaiah 43:1-3

“There is no force equal to that of a Determined Woman.”

 

In addition to sharing the affirmations, each woman brought a bead to string together on a bracelet or necklace for me, they all had different meanings and sentiments and all represent the love these six other women have for me and my baby girl awaiting birth. It is a bracelet now, but I plan on turning into a long necklace I can easily stare down at.

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Another special gift I received was this Unakite bracelet. I did not know the power and uses of Unakite for pregnancy and childbirth before that day and I have not taken it off since!

IMG_4129You can also see my brown hemp cord in the photo above from the cord binding ceremony.

Overall it was an extremely special day with an energy that I plan to draw on the remaining 7-ish weeks of my pregnancy. The affirmations are all going to be placed on a wall in the room we plan to birth in next to a shelf that will contain an essential oil diffuser, sage, quartz and pearls that were also gifted to us.

I hope any or all of these can be used/shared/appreciated and passed on to other mamas to be,  alone or paired with a blessingway they have been very uplifting to my soul.

Has anyone attended or had a blessing way themselves? What kind of ceremonies took place? If you have any other affirmations or prayers to share we would love to read them!

Love and birth,

Cassandra

Coming up: Bradley Day Family Festival

Counting down…two days until the big event I have been working on.  I keep telling myself that after this weekend, life is going to get back to “normal”.  It has been an interesting season – sleeping more, writing less, putting a focus on the Sweet Peas first; allowing all other pulls on my time to roll away so that they have Peaceful Mama mothering and schooling them.  Late nights of blogging while the children are asleep is the “normal” I speak of…and after this season of Peaceful Mama reigning supreme, I may be re-evaluating that.

I won’t lie – this last week it has been hard to keep Crazy Mama at bay.  My default when I am stressed is to yell.  I had a great session with Jennifer Hoperich (Moxie Meditation) yesterday.  We talked through default reactions and “pie-in-the-sky” solutions.  She helped me articulate what would I like to happen instead of my default actions if all things were possible.  It was so neat to talk about best case scenario proactions – I had never thought about it that way before.  I am good at identifying what I do not want to do.  I cannot believe I missed the part of identifying behaviors to do “instead of” and focusing my gaze in that direction.

My whole intention these last few months was to allow my children to feel love, calm, and peace from me despite the pressures that come with planning a public outreach event.  In order to support that goal, after Jennifer and I did the processing work, I had hypnotherapy for the first time in my life yesterday.  All I know is that when I walked out of my session with her, I felt like 50 pounds of pressure had been lifted off of my shoulders – I felt lighter and unbelievably positive about my ability to handle the pressures of this weekend, and still being able to walk in “Peaceful Mama” mode all the way through until Monday morning.  (It’s easy to be Peaceful Mama when there are no pressures; it has been a whole different story when I am stressed.)  Today, I really believe I am going to be able to fulfill that intention and arrive on Monday with Sweet Peas that have been honored, loved, and treated with peace and calm in spite of the swirl of activity.

You can see the announcement for the event I have been planning at the top of the page.  It is shaping up to be A.Ma.Zing.  The event was imagined with the vision of celebrating Dr. Bradley and raising awareness of The Bradley Method®.  To that end, we have invited Rhondda Hartman, RN and author to be our keynote speaker.  She was Dr. Bradley’s colleague fro 25 years, and she created the exercise program we teach in Bradley Method® classes.  In addition to her keynote address on the life and times of Dr. Bradley, she is going to be teaching her exercise program.

You can read more about the event HERE – you will find links to the seminars, family activities, and raffle prizes on the blog.  If you can join us, please stop by and say hi.

Wherever you move through this weekend, walk in love and peace, friends.  I will be setting my intention for the same course – see you on the other side of Sunday.

UPDATE: Where in the world is SPF?

I am still completely engrossed homeschooling our four Sweet Pea Kids.  It is going so well – so far we are seven weeks in and this year has been a dream…maybe because I am not stressing myself out with too many “balls in the air” or “irons in the fire” or “insert your metaphor here”.

There is still one doula/student baby due in November…and just in time for that birth I have an awesome bag with all the pockets and zippers and organizing spaces.  I love the mermaid-water theme for birth – what do you think??

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Right now we are in Austin, TX so I can attend the Birth Without Fear Conference – SO EXCITED!!  I opted for this instead of a Mommy-Con event this year.  I am looking forward to enjoying it as a recharge for our Bradley Method classes.  My plan is to fill up my notebook with lots of notes for inspiration and maybe, or maybe not, turn them into blog posts over on our Sweet Pea Births blog.

It is also the last day for an online auction to benefit Julie of The Progressive Parent.  Pictured below is the Sweet Pea Births Prize Package for the Silent Auction:

Make your bids HERE:

http://www.32auctions.com/JulieAndKids

You do not have to be local to Arizona for the Healthy Pregnancy Class.  If you have an internet connection and a webcam, I would be happy to teach you over the internet! I will put the class handouts in the mail with the other items in the prize package.

Here is a a note from Amy Brown of Zen Parenting that explains more about the fundraiser:

Our beloved Julie of The Progressive Parent needs our help. A silent auction will be held in her honor Wednesday, October 22nd at 6 a.m. EST through Friday, October 24th 10 p.m. EST. This will take place entirely online.

Your contributions will go directly to Julie and her children, making it possible for them to experience the independence we all enjoy and take for granted – the freedom of owning a car.

Zen Parenting and all the other generous donors hope you’ll find it in your heart to give freely as we continue to work toward our goal for Julie. People helping people – that’s what it’s all about.Happy bidding! And may the odds be ever in your favor. (That’s right, I said it.)

Zen Parenting for The Progressive Parent

Zen Parenting and The Progressive Parent are so-called “mommy blogs,” but really so much more. The two of us have grown up together in the blogosphere. In the process, we’ve become close. In the process, one of us lost a child to sudden unexplained death in childhood (see SUDC.org). In the process, we became a support system to one another. In the process, we got here, where Zen Parenting is doing her part to help The Progressive Parent, because, we are all one, we both live by the philosophy that to whom much is given much is expected, and we are looking to be examples of compassion and love for our children and our children’s children.

The last thing going on is all the planning for the Bradley Day Family Picnic.  Yours truly is heading up the committee that is organizing an event to promote Dr. Bradley and healthy pregnancies-birth-babies-families.  You can read more about that event HERE.

Here is your invitation to join us:

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So that is what is going on in our world…we are excited for Cassandra’s upcoming birth…we will be back to more regular posts once she settles into her new normal after her babymoon and we get these events behind us and there is more time to be on-line.

Thank you for checking in with us…we’ll be back soon!!