Author Archives: krystynabowman@gmail.com

Monday Musings: Time

My heart catches in my throat just about every time I look at Otter these days.  She is two weeks away from turning two!!  Even more amazing, big brother NIght Owl is turning six a couple of days before her birthday, Charger just turned four, and Puma is marching along to her ninth birthday.  She has already started counting down until her 16th birthday so she can drive.

S.T.O.P. growing!!!!  Please.

I think it is hitting me harder, because just about now would be the time I would be pregnant if we were still growing our family.  I am still processing the idea that I will never be pregnant again; I will never be a part of that miracle of creation.  It’s a big one for me because it was an amazing experience – the pregnancy, the movements, the births…the babies.

And yet, I am thrilled to see them grow.  We are out of the baby phase – we have four children now.  They are all learning, growing, exploring new skills and new vocabulary.  I am watching Puma’s writing take off and seeing her internalize and use her math skills in all kinds of applications; Night Owl is really learning to read; Charger is so excited to be doing school this year; and Otter – she just loves life.

Her new favorite thing is stacking things up and jumping off.  May God have mercy on us and send us his Angels to help us.  Really.  I want to protect her and yet I know she has to figure out this hard surface thing on her own.  I hope and pray she doesn’t break anything, and in the meantime, I try to sneak in a pillow here and there to break the fall.  We encourage her to stack things with us so that we do them on the tumbling mats and there is some supervision and protection while she explores her boundaries.

I treasure our nights when we are back to just our snuggly children, and I can still cradle them like when they were my babies.  We can finally say we almost have a bedtime routine.  We take our Juice Plus+ and fish oils, everyone brushes their teeth, and then we read out loud before the kiddos pick out “the movie”.  Lately, we barely even make it to the movie – you guessed it…Night Owl is the only one who is still awake.  Yeah for less screen time for most of them.

I have noticed that I don’t sing to the children as much as I used to sing to Puma when she was a baby.  I am trying to be mindful to do more singing.  Can you help me out?  What are some of your favorite lullabies or night songs?

Upcoming Event: Healthy Happy Baby Expo

I am so excited to announce the Healthy Happy Baby Expo coming up next Saturday, September 21, 2013.  We sat down with organizer Kim Swayman, owner of the Healthy Baby, Happy Earth store in Glendale, AZ.  Please read our interview with her over on Sweet Pea Birth‘s today.

Although it is billed as a “Baby Expo”, there will be plenty there for parents of older children.  Along with the usual fare of Breastfeeding Q&A, babywearing, and car seat safety, some of the other sessions are:

  • Protecting Your Little Explorer – Session taught by Nancy Dastrup, owner of Arizona Childproofers
  • Helping Siblings Adjust – Taught by Youth Etc. – Valley Clinical Services
  • Nutrition – Baby’s First Year- Presented by Lisa Ingermanson RD,CLC – Easter Seals Southwest Human Development
  • Fostering a Love of Reading – Offered with Michelle Clark from Babymoon Inn – she is known for creating early literacy play spaces in over 20 libraries and for providing training on early literacy across the country

Check out the complete listing at the event website, http://www.healthyhappybabyexpo.com.  I just got a note from Kim that the Comfort Measures Class offered by my colleague is full, and we are adding a second session.  It is definitely a great idea to pre-register for these free classes, save your seat, and get the most out of your day!!

Will we see you there?  We will be there in the afternoon after we teach our Bradley™ “Next” class.  Leave me a comment and let me know if we should look for you.

Thoughtful Thursday: Priorities!

What a day!  My back knows I was busy today…

What is on your to-do list every day?  How do you figure out what is the most important?

A long time ago I learned this little saying: Drop – Delay – Delegate – Do!

There is also a little quadrant that looks like this:

Have you ever looked at your to-do list through this lens?

Have you ever looked at your to-do list through this lens?

So instead of blogging today, which is my joy to share with our readers, I got busy attacking the work that needs to be done to set up for a pleasant school year and efficient Bradley classes.  Here is how Drop – Delay – Delegate – Do looks with the quadrant:

Instead of trying to get everything done, do what you can do while you maintain a semblance of sanity.

Instead of trying to get everything done, do what you can do while you maintain a semblance of sanity.

We are coming up on some exciting times in our family and pretty soon people are going to start descending on the house.  If I want to clean once, I need to do it.  I know where I want to find things, and I also want to get on with the purging!!  It’s easy to throw things in boxes and hide them behind a closet door (been there, doing that when I choose sleep over cleaning!).  I find that those boxes become an albatross, taunting me and calling my name when I really just want to sit and enjoy our children or dig into a good book.

So I am sorry if we missed each other today…I hope you had a great day.  While we enjoyed camping out on our living room floor the first three days of our school year…it is *really* nice to have the school room organized, the kiddos back in a rhythm, and our living room is closer to being ready to receive guests…and now our physical space for school is ready which means I will be in a better mental space and I also have a place to write that doesn’t make me sit at crazy angles…yeah all around!

Each kiddo has a dedicated shelf, our table is clean, and lots of manipulatives, books, and art supplies!

Each kiddo has a dedicated shelf, our table is clean, and lots of manipulatives, books, and art supplies!

I still have to straighten up the dining room table that becomes my desk when I run out of space in the school room.  I will get to that tonight after the kiddos are in bed!  

Wordless Wednesday: Out and About

Fall is in the air – perfect time to be out and about with our Sweet Peas!  This month I will be featuring all the different ways we enjoy life with our little ones…want to share your pics?  Please send your submissions to sweetpeafamilies@gmail.com

Side note: special love to all of you affected by the 9/11/01 tragedy.  We will be out and about later at a Remembrance Event – I don’t know how anything will ever convey the sadness of that day to our littles, in the hope that when they are older, they will be inspired to spread peace. <3 <3 <3

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Tuesday Tips: About Baby Food

Do you want to know about baby food and feeding made easy without using commercial baby “junk food”?  Today’s tips are for you!

I made purees for the boys.  While it was great to have them to mix-in to other foods and sneak veggies in everywhere, it was time consuming.  It took two days dedicated in the kitchen to make 30 days worth of purees.  With Otter being our fourth Sweet Pea, and two kiddos to homeschool, plus all the activities our three older kiddos needed to be ferried to and from, I was ready to try a feeding theory that was going to save me time.

Both Cassandra and I ascribe to the concept of Baby-Led Weaning.  It is not, as it sounds to our ears here in the USA, a method by which a baby stops breastfeeding and goes straight to solids.  It is a theory of feeding that proposes to skip purees and start with foods when a baby is ready, typically between six to nine months of age.

One of the reasons why our family decided to go the Baby-Led Weaning route:

“Feeding practices such as introducing lumpy foods before ten months of age and consuming family meals have been shown to lead to healthier eating patterns through childhood.”
http://theconversation.com/branded-baby-food-falls-short-of-home-made-fare-but-why-18004

The other reason is that it is actually insanely easy…you feed them what you are eating, with the exception that anything you serve to them is cut up into pea-sized pieces as they learn to feed themselves.  You still take the usual precaution of introducing one food at a time, so that you can identify any potential allergies.  We would also space 2-3 days between food introductions.

How do you know your baby is ready for Baby-Led Weaning?  A baby demonstrates they are ready for solids when:

  • They can sit independently – that means no props, folks.  Your baby can get from a prone position to a sitting position all by themselves, without the support of a chair or pillow to keep them in a seated position.
  • They have lost the tongue-thrust reflex, which means that they don’t try to suck at anything and everything you put in their mouth by reaching forward with their tongue first.
  • They have developed their “pincer-grip”, which is the ability to use typically their thumb and forefinger to grasp at objects (anyone else have a Sweet Pea that practiced on your arm while they were nursing – that was one of the clues for me!)

It does require some thought and planning.  You want to take into consideration any food allergies that run in your family, and possibly delay the introduction of those foods into your child’s first or second year.  You may want to look at food introduction schedules to make sure that your baby is going to be open to trying lots of different foods, not just stick to the sweet tastes.  Click on the links for a couple to check out from La Leche League and Dr. Sears.

The other tip I like to share was shared with us when Night Owl was a baby.  After his RSV scare, we saw a lot more of his specialty pediatrician, and this is what they told us: introduce new foods in the morning.  Why would that make sense?  In the event that your Sweet Pea has an adverse reaction to any food you introduce, care facilities typically have their “A-team” on staff during the day.

Most of all, have fun with it.  Remember that in most cases, your breastmilk is providing complete nutrition for your Sweet Pea up through their first birthday.  One of our students has a great little saying that I love to share: “Food before one is just for fun!”

If they play with their food, let them! They are exploring the smell, the texture, and the taste.  Some of it is making it into their mouth…and for whatever doesn’t, your breastmilk is still there providing complete nutrition.  Neat fact: your breastmilk changes flavor according the the food you eat, so they have already been exposed to all the flavors you will probably be offering them.

If your Sweet Pea sees that you have good eating habits, they will mimic you.  Before you know it, you will have a well-fed toddler that eats just about anything and everything that (s)he is offered.

I still have to migrate our Baby-Led Weaning posts over from our Sweet Pea Births site – it’s an 8-week chronicle of Otter’s foray into food.  Check it out HERE.  Want to see what the results of this type of feeding?  Cassandra has done some awesome posts on feeding her toddler.  Check them out HERE and HERE.

My favorite resources: Introducing Solids
Baby Led Weaning
La Leche League
Dr. Sears

Disclaimer: 
The material included on this site is for informational purposes only.  It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation.  Cassandra Okamoto, Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided.  

Trying to use humor…

I have been working with Blue Russ to address my health choices and find more time to breathe in my day.  One of my goals is to write affirmations to get the day off to a good start.  I found this one helpful the last time I could tell I was ovulating: the skin breakouts, cervical mucous, and the general feeling that my volume was louder than I like it to be.

Remembering this did help me last month – it was awesome.  Too bad I forgot to use it that day.  Turns out it was a couple of days before my moon time – I should have known and remembered to use humor…chalk up another tally mark next to “lessons I must remember”!!

That day I would rather forget

We spend our summer months in a small town in the Rim Country of Arizona.  Going up there, I have a lot of help with packing and with the kiddos – “many hands make light work”.  It is fun – we are all looking forward to the cool pines, the summer house, the time in the green surroundings and the afternoon rains.  The energy rides high and moving is a dream.

We arrive – we unpack – life is amazing.  As a parent, I have less pressure.  We do a summer schedule for school, so there is more time for writing during the day and more sleep.  There are no alarm clocks.  Instead of appointments and classes every day we do one thing a two days a week: horseback riding.  More time in the beauty of creation and watching our children enjoy something and working together.  Once a month, we go to Lego club.  Farmer’s Market on Saturdays where we run into friends from town and “lowlanders” that summer like us.

It is an amazing gift for our family.

Summer is over and now we are gearing up for life back in our hometown.  Hello, moving day.

Wednesday I felt the complete opposite of “idyllic”.  I was feeling perfection pressure because we have friends coming up to use the house this weekend.  I wanted the drawers perfect and the cabinets perfect and the beds perfect.  Because perfect is.  I was feeling time pressure because I overslept. I had planned to spend “perfecting” before the kiddos woke up.  That was gone because I woke up late, and besides, I wanted to get down here in time to have our nanny help us unpack.  As if that wasn’t enough on my plate, I was rushing to make it back in time for our afternoon appointments at 3:00 pm and 4:00 pm.  I was feeling parenting pressure – could I really have them watch television all morning while I packed?  Why are my children using their hands hurtfully today?  Why isn’t this “gentle parenting” thing working on the day when I need it the most??

I kept it all inside for about four hours.  And then I Y.E.L.L.E.D.  The top-of-my-lungs why are you people driving me crazy yell.  I hate myself.  I wonder how yelling can be any different than hitting when it is that kind of yelling.

So I own it.  I tell them I am sorry.  I can’t ask for forgiveness yet…I have to earn that.  I ask them if that was the Crazy Mommy.  I ask if we can all make different choices.  Then I ask if I can yell in a fun way because I still feel like I need to yell.  So I start saying everything with a funnier yell.  I blow off some steam.  We all start laughing and have a great lunch together.

BlogSPF diner

Sweet Pea Kids (AZ) and I had one more meal at our favorite diner. Daddy s too big to sit at the counter – they were thrilled to eat there that day and did pretty well with the “spin-ny stoos”.

I still feel a pit in my stomach.  I Y.E.L.L.E.D. at these beautiful little people entrusted to my care.  I scared them.  I wounded them a little and lost their trust – how much, time will tell.  I hate myself.  I hate that part of me that yells.  I can’t be proud of the fact that I don’t spank them because yelling is not any better.

I forgot one very important thing that day: If I was feeling pressure as an adult, how could I forget that these little people are also feeling?  I talk about newborns adjusting to life outside of the womb to our students.  How could I forget about my own children?  Yes, they are talking.  However, they don’t tell me, “Mommy, I feel…can you help me?” because as parents we do not model that.  (Note to self: start talking/ processing out loud some more.)

Looking back, their behavior was absolutely understandable.  One of our children is devastated because we have our house for sale.  As much as we love our summer home and our summer town, we are pragmatic.  It can’t be reasonable to keep up two households for three months of use per year – an 8-year old can’t possibly “get” that – all she knows is that she is hurt and angry about the decision because she will miss her summer friends.  Another child can’t understand that his favorite things are coming with him and he keeps unpacking them, and can’t understand why I am still putting them back in their place to make the move.  Our youngest just wants to nurse because she can feel turmoil (and as it turns out, I just saw a new tooth yesterday).

I forgot them.  I didn’t listen to the words they weren’t saying.  So as much as I would rather forget that Wednesday happened, I can’t.  I have to remember.  I have to do better next time.  I owe it to them.

Has anyone else been there?  How do you handle it?  How do you do better for next time?

Tuesday Tip: Play is Learning

As we get ready to go “back to school” in our home, we face a unique situation where we only have one child who isn’t being “schooled” with a curriculum.  However, every day is a school day when you realize that every interaction, every activity is a learning opportunity for your toddler.

Here are five ideas pulled from THIS article – these are the ones that we are trying to remember to use – we have the supplies…now to pull them out and enjoy them with Otter, and all the other kiddos, for that matter.

5. Provide puzzles, oversize wooden beads for stringing, blocks and other toys. (My note: great for spatial relationships, counting, sorting, hand-eye coordination when you string, cause & effect when you build and topple.)

6. Provide drawing and art materials to help your child develop pre-writing skills. (My note: great for developing gross- and fine-motor skills.  Also sense of touch if you use different textures of paper.)

7. Encourage pretend play such as “Let’s pretend we’re going to the store.” (My note: this is a perfect opportunity to engage older children.  Puma really enjoys playing store, so I can leave the set-up to her, and Otter and I can be her shoppers.  The two most common themes are Farmer’s Market and Pet Store – LOL.  Added bonus: Puma practices her math when she makes change!)

8. Play rhyming games to help your child notice similar sounds.  (My note: being a bi-lingual family, there are ample opportunities to do this.  So far we rhyme English to English and Spanish to Spanish.  Maybe we will expand to cross-lingual rhyming this year!  We definitely can add more rhyme time to every day…also a great opportunity to practice our sign language if we sign the rhyming words.)

9. Ask your child questions that encourage creative thought (“What do you think about …”).  (My note:  This one we have to incorporate…such a great idea can’t believe we have missed this one!!)

Read the complete 10-point list HERE

So as we strive to do more “play” and passive learning for Otter, it’s time to dig out our Discovery Toys and pull the chunky puzzles down from the shelf!  The bright colors engage her, and usually her siblings, too!  I love this line because you can replace lost parts…a gift when you can’t stand playing with incomplete sets (my little OCD challenge!).

I also take the time to cull our books every season and make sure fresh chunky books are on the lower shelves for Otter and Charger, and highlight the ones that are seasonal.  Some of our faves are from Barefoot Books – great Spanish selection and sing-along books.  We also make sure that any books that are on-subject for the older kiddos find their way to the schoolroom for that week’s focus.  I find that rotating our book collection keeps things fresh for all of us!

A staple in our school space is an easel and watercolors with cups and paintbrushes.  Every morning I refresh it with paper and make sure we have clean brushes.  The water filling I leave to the kiddos – good sensory activity and practice moving liquids!  It gets a little messy however I think the lesson is worth it.

We also started an “art station” in the kitchen the last few weeks of school last Spring.  Anyone else love doing art in the kitchen??  The sink is right there 🙂

I rotated the activity every week (stickers, stamps, crayons, markers, gluing, cutting and pasting, etc.).  It gave the kiddos a “play” activity to do while they waited for their meal, and it also allowed me to work in one (or more) art activity into the day.  We will be doing this again this school season.  Please send along any “center” ideas that we can set up in the kitchen – we will need some inspiration in a few weeks when we run through our standbys!

What do you think? Do you think you take enough time to play with your children?  I know I don’t, and that is something I am working on as I strive to add more breath to our days.

 

Rally to Improve Birth – TODAY

Whether or not you were able to make it to your local Improving Birth Rally, anyone can participate in the Virtual Rally to Improve Birth.

Here are some pictures I am sharing today to show solidarity with the families that are out under the elements today to rally for an evidence-based care maternity system.  Thank you to everyone who came together to make the rallies happen in all fifty states and three other countries!!

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Until Next Year…

(Image from https://www.facebook.com/MochaManual)

August has been Breastfeeding Awareness Month in the United States for several years now.  It kicks off with World Breastfeeding Awareness Month on August 1-7th.  This year, a group of concerned lactivists proposed a Black Breastfeeding Week to close out the month.  It has been met with unexpected and vehement opposition.

I would expect anyone who reads about pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding to understand why this is necessary.  Our black citizens have more incidence of lower birth weight and prematurity than other ethnic groups.  The black community has higher prenatal and maternal mortality rates than any other segment of the population.  And, they have lower rates of breastfeeding than any other ethnic groups.  This is not race mongering.  These are cold, hard and pathetic statistics in a day and age when we are supposedly “enlightened”.

We can all agree that breastfeeding offers the best start in life.  Our human milk is made just for our human babies, and it evolves to meet their needs as they grow into toddlerhood.  If there is a group that needs to hear this message loud and clear, then absolutely, dedicate a week out of the month to raise awareness.  End of story.  Start of advocacy.

Instead of arguing whether or not this is necessary, jump in and ask, how can we help?  I don’t care what race, color, creed or orientation, if you say your group needs help with increasing the number of Motherbabys choosing to breastfeed, and then going on to have successful breastfeeding relationships, then help is what they should get.  End of story.  Start of advocacy.

Breastfeeding is not an exclusive club.  The whole point of Breastfeeding Awareness Month is to educate people *everywhere* about the benefits, the struggles, the need for support, and the myriad of options (besides formula) that are available to families who want to feed their babies human milk.  When a group acknowledges that their is a disparity in breastfeeding rates and wants to do something about it, then by all means, give them the time and attention they are asking for.  Breastmilk is free, local and sustainable…what do we lose by ensuring that all mamas have equal access to correct, accurate and inspiring information and support?

We have enjoyed sharing our breastfeeding anecdotes, reflections on our journey as breastfeeding mamas, and pictures of breastfeeding and the lifestyle choices that support breastfeeding with you this month.  Did you see any black MotherBabys?  Me neither.

You can count on this: next year, we will be helping our sisters who want to see all the benefits of breastfeeding to improve outcomes and quality of life for the MotherBabys in the black community.

Now that I am ready to jump off my soapbox, please share with us.  Did you learn anything new this month?  Were you inspired by a mama in your community?  Please let us know – we love reading about your breastfeeding milestones.