Monthly Archives: September 2013

That day I would rather forget

We spend our summer months in a small town in the Rim Country of Arizona.  Going up there, I have a lot of help with packing and with the kiddos – “many hands make light work”.  It is fun – we are all looking forward to the cool pines, the summer house, the time in the green surroundings and the afternoon rains.  The energy rides high and moving is a dream.

We arrive – we unpack – life is amazing.  As a parent, I have less pressure.  We do a summer schedule for school, so there is more time for writing during the day and more sleep.  There are no alarm clocks.  Instead of appointments and classes every day we do one thing a two days a week: horseback riding.  More time in the beauty of creation and watching our children enjoy something and working together.  Once a month, we go to Lego club.  Farmer’s Market on Saturdays where we run into friends from town and “lowlanders” that summer like us.

It is an amazing gift for our family.

Summer is over and now we are gearing up for life back in our hometown.  Hello, moving day.

Wednesday I felt the complete opposite of “idyllic”.  I was feeling perfection pressure because we have friends coming up to use the house this weekend.  I wanted the drawers perfect and the cabinets perfect and the beds perfect.  Because perfect is.  I was feeling time pressure because I overslept. I had planned to spend “perfecting” before the kiddos woke up.  That was gone because I woke up late, and besides, I wanted to get down here in time to have our nanny help us unpack.  As if that wasn’t enough on my plate, I was rushing to make it back in time for our afternoon appointments at 3:00 pm and 4:00 pm.  I was feeling parenting pressure – could I really have them watch television all morning while I packed?  Why are my children using their hands hurtfully today?  Why isn’t this “gentle parenting” thing working on the day when I need it the most??

I kept it all inside for about four hours.  And then I Y.E.L.L.E.D.  The top-of-my-lungs why are you people driving me crazy yell.  I hate myself.  I wonder how yelling can be any different than hitting when it is that kind of yelling.

So I own it.  I tell them I am sorry.  I can’t ask for forgiveness yet…I have to earn that.  I ask them if that was the Crazy Mommy.  I ask if we can all make different choices.  Then I ask if I can yell in a fun way because I still feel like I need to yell.  So I start saying everything with a funnier yell.  I blow off some steam.  We all start laughing and have a great lunch together.

BlogSPF diner

Sweet Pea Kids (AZ) and I had one more meal at our favorite diner. Daddy s too big to sit at the counter – they were thrilled to eat there that day and did pretty well with the “spin-ny stoos”.

I still feel a pit in my stomach.  I Y.E.L.L.E.D. at these beautiful little people entrusted to my care.  I scared them.  I wounded them a little and lost their trust – how much, time will tell.  I hate myself.  I hate that part of me that yells.  I can’t be proud of the fact that I don’t spank them because yelling is not any better.

I forgot one very important thing that day: If I was feeling pressure as an adult, how could I forget that these little people are also feeling?  I talk about newborns adjusting to life outside of the womb to our students.  How could I forget about my own children?  Yes, they are talking.  However, they don’t tell me, “Mommy, I feel…can you help me?” because as parents we do not model that.  (Note to self: start talking/ processing out loud some more.)

Looking back, their behavior was absolutely understandable.  One of our children is devastated because we have our house for sale.  As much as we love our summer home and our summer town, we are pragmatic.  It can’t be reasonable to keep up two households for three months of use per year – an 8-year old can’t possibly “get” that – all she knows is that she is hurt and angry about the decision because she will miss her summer friends.  Another child can’t understand that his favorite things are coming with him and he keeps unpacking them, and can’t understand why I am still putting them back in their place to make the move.  Our youngest just wants to nurse because she can feel turmoil (and as it turns out, I just saw a new tooth yesterday).

I forgot them.  I didn’t listen to the words they weren’t saying.  So as much as I would rather forget that Wednesday happened, I can’t.  I have to remember.  I have to do better next time.  I owe it to them.

Has anyone else been there?  How do you handle it?  How do you do better for next time?

Munchkin Meals: T’s Eats at at 17/18 Months

Happy Thursday! In place of our usual Thoughtful Thursday, today I am participating in Brittany at A Healthy Slice of Life‘s Munchkin Meals. A couple of months ago I shared a lot about *how* little T eats and thought this would be fun to showcase what he has been enjoying eating lately!

Breakfast

Breakfast always has fruit, maybe a pancake/french toast/muffin, sometimes cheese and then usually another random fat/protein source accompanied by a green smoothie

strawberries, chicken, cheese & banana with a side of green smoothie: kale, mustard greens, frozen fruit medley, 1/2 banana, flax seed & water

strawberries, chicken, cheese & banana with a side of green smoothie: kale, mustard greens, frozen fruit medley, 1/2 banana, flax seed & water

half a banana, french toast on local/organic whole wheat bread, grapes & strawberries

half a banana, french toast on local/organic whole wheat bread, grapes & strawberries

T saying "haaawt" to his french toast (:

T saying “haaawt” to his french toast (:

we usually make a green smoothie at home every morning but if we happen to be low on ingredients or in a rush T also loves these green smoothies from Trader Joe's!

we usually make a green smoothie at home every morning but if we happen to be low on ingredients or in a rush T also loves these green smoothies from Trader Joe’s!

AM Snack

While we are out & about during our morning adventure I bring T cut up fresh fruit, roasted sweet potatoes and sometimes almond butter/almond butter & jam sandwiches to snack on

Pre Nap Lunch

I usually put a light lunch out when we get home before T takes his nap.

green beans, chick peas & kidney beans & banana with half OJ/half water

green beans, chick peas & kidney beans & banana with half OJ/half water

peach, chicken & black eyed peas

peach, chicken & black eyed peas

strawberries, oranges, roasted sweet potatoes, white potatoes & raw milk cheese

strawberries, oranges, roasted sweet potatoes, white potatoes & raw milk cheese

frozen peas, blueberries, cheese & banana topped with almond butter

frozen peas, blueberries, cheese & banana topped with almond butter

decisions, decisions (:

decisions, decisions (:

After Nap Lunch

This is usually a heartier plate, I would say this is the time of day T eats the most food at one sitting.

strawberries, lentils & rice, beet saurkraut, golden beets, and a cut up leftover pancake from the AM (almond flour, egg, flax seed, olive oil, baking powder & banana)

strawberries, lentils & rice, beet saurkraut, golden beets, and a cut up leftover pancake from the AM (almond flour, egg, flax seed, olive oil, baking powder & banana)

strawberries, peaches, golden beets & lentils

strawberries, peaches, golden beets & lentils

strawberries, olives, curried green beans, carrots & potatoes

strawberries, olives, curried green beans, carrots & potatoes

white potatoes, red bell peppers, raspberries & a whole wheat tortilla wrap with almond butter & fig spread

white potatoes, red bell peppers, raspberries & a whole wheat tortilla wrap with almond butter & fig spread

Dinner

I don’t have pictures of dinner because we are usually all sitting down as a family and I don’t have my phone/ always forget to get a snapshot. T eats whatever we are having, often he just grazes off of our plates too. This night we were having black cod, sauerkraut, and a green salad. He ate the fish & sauerkraut and I filled his placemat up with some leftovers from lunch too.

strawberries, sauerkraut, miso black cod, leftover chicken, black eyed peas & cheese from lunch

strawberries, sauerkraut, miso black cod, leftover chicken, black eyed peas & cheese from lunch

So there you have it, a mix of all the different kinds of foods T has been discovering, playing with, and eating lately! We shop at the farmer’s markets for most of our fruits, vegetables and bread so a lot of things that are in season are recurring on his plate, especially strawberries 🙂 As we venture into fall I am excited to see different crops offered (the first butternut squash made an appearance this week!!!)  and try out some new, seasonal recipes!

Tuesday Tip: Play is Learning

As we get ready to go “back to school” in our home, we face a unique situation where we only have one child who isn’t being “schooled” with a curriculum.  However, every day is a school day when you realize that every interaction, every activity is a learning opportunity for your toddler.

Here are five ideas pulled from THIS article – these are the ones that we are trying to remember to use – we have the supplies…now to pull them out and enjoy them with Otter, and all the other kiddos, for that matter.

5. Provide puzzles, oversize wooden beads for stringing, blocks and other toys. (My note: great for spatial relationships, counting, sorting, hand-eye coordination when you string, cause & effect when you build and topple.)

6. Provide drawing and art materials to help your child develop pre-writing skills. (My note: great for developing gross- and fine-motor skills.  Also sense of touch if you use different textures of paper.)

7. Encourage pretend play such as “Let’s pretend we’re going to the store.” (My note: this is a perfect opportunity to engage older children.  Puma really enjoys playing store, so I can leave the set-up to her, and Otter and I can be her shoppers.  The two most common themes are Farmer’s Market and Pet Store – LOL.  Added bonus: Puma practices her math when she makes change!)

8. Play rhyming games to help your child notice similar sounds.  (My note: being a bi-lingual family, there are ample opportunities to do this.  So far we rhyme English to English and Spanish to Spanish.  Maybe we will expand to cross-lingual rhyming this year!  We definitely can add more rhyme time to every day…also a great opportunity to practice our sign language if we sign the rhyming words.)

9. Ask your child questions that encourage creative thought (“What do you think about …”).  (My note:  This one we have to incorporate…such a great idea can’t believe we have missed this one!!)

Read the complete 10-point list HERE

So as we strive to do more “play” and passive learning for Otter, it’s time to dig out our Discovery Toys and pull the chunky puzzles down from the shelf!  The bright colors engage her, and usually her siblings, too!  I love this line because you can replace lost parts…a gift when you can’t stand playing with incomplete sets (my little OCD challenge!).

I also take the time to cull our books every season and make sure fresh chunky books are on the lower shelves for Otter and Charger, and highlight the ones that are seasonal.  Some of our faves are from Barefoot Books – great Spanish selection and sing-along books.  We also make sure that any books that are on-subject for the older kiddos find their way to the schoolroom for that week’s focus.  I find that rotating our book collection keeps things fresh for all of us!

A staple in our school space is an easel and watercolors with cups and paintbrushes.  Every morning I refresh it with paper and make sure we have clean brushes.  The water filling I leave to the kiddos – good sensory activity and practice moving liquids!  It gets a little messy however I think the lesson is worth it.

We also started an “art station” in the kitchen the last few weeks of school last Spring.  Anyone else love doing art in the kitchen??  The sink is right there 🙂

I rotated the activity every week (stickers, stamps, crayons, markers, gluing, cutting and pasting, etc.).  It gave the kiddos a “play” activity to do while they waited for their meal, and it also allowed me to work in one (or more) art activity into the day.  We will be doing this again this school season.  Please send along any “center” ideas that we can set up in the kitchen – we will need some inspiration in a few weeks when we run through our standbys!

What do you think? Do you think you take enough time to play with your children?  I know I don’t, and that is something I am working on as I strive to add more breath to our days.

 

Rally to Improve Birth – TODAY

Whether or not you were able to make it to your local Improving Birth Rally, anyone can participate in the Virtual Rally to Improve Birth.

Here are some pictures I am sharing today to show solidarity with the families that are out under the elements today to rally for an evidence-based care maternity system.  Thank you to everyone who came together to make the rallies happen in all fifty states and three other countries!!

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