Monthly Archives: September 2013

Attachment Parenting: Feeding With Love and Respect

I am so glad to be back in the area to take advantage of all the wonderful support groups the Phoenix area has to offer.  Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend the Attachment Parenting International meeting in Chandler.  The topic was “Feeding with Love and Respect”, based on that principle of attachment parenting.

Here are some of the ideas presented by Amanda, the API leader:

  • Feeding is about more than giving them food – it is an exchange of love between parent and child when you consider the time it takes to prepare and serve
  • Breastfeeding is the method that promotes the most bonding: closeness in proximity, it provides warm nourishment on cue, meets baby’s needs while meeting mom’s needs
  • Bottle-feeding can be AP, too: Keep your baby close, feed in your lap, make eye-contact: preserve what you can from the breastfeeding experience even when breastfeeding isn’t an option
  • As your child grows, there is definitely a decision to be made about making food at home versus purchasing processed food in the stores.

She made an interesting point that I had not thought about:  when we start solids, we literally start moving our child away from us.  Up to this point, all their food has come from mother and/or in proximity to a care giver.  Once they start being fed solids, children are usually set in a chair away from us.  It is not unusual for children to crave closeness and want to eat in your lap, which is exactly what Otter wants to do more often than not, especially when we are eating out.

Now I get it – she is in a strange place around people she knows are not in our family, eating a meal.  Mealtimes for her are usually at home, around our table, with people we know – no wonder a restaurant makes her want to be close to mama!! I will totally embrace her instead of hesitating to give her my lap space when we are supposed to be “eating out”.  It is totally appropriate for her to find comfort in my lap, because that has been and still is her “safe space”. She knows she is loved and safe when she is in my embrace.

Amanda also talked about weaning…she did say that AP teaches to offer breastmilk first (up to a year-old), and then to offer solid food.  There may come a point when baby totally bypasses you and goes straight to the table.  That is okay, too; it is honoring the child who does not want breastmilk at that instant.

We also had the pleasure of hearing Blue Russ share her perspective on food with the group.  Here are some interesting statistics she shared:
90% of the food in grocery stores is processed
If you think about it, we are advertised to almost every waking moment by billboard signs, computer banner ads, television ads and the radio.

She encouraged us to let go of any guilt that we have associated with our food choices, and instead, look at the choices we are making and accepting them as the choices that work for us in this time and space.  She reminded us that our children learn about food from us – they taste the flavors delivered in our breastmilk, they watch the choices we make, they learn our rhythm of life.  If we want them to learn healthy habits, then we have to live the habits we want them to learn.  Among them, to let go of any shame, guilt, blame and stress that we feel about food.

We have all been there – we are in a rush, we need to go, and we make the choice to go through the drive-through instead of feeding the food we “should” be eating.  One mama had a great perspective to share: she tried to remember it was more important to feed herself than go hungry, and that the opportunity to make a better choice existed in the future.

Blue invited us to look at the connections between our lifestyle, stressors, and our choices.  Could we see any correlations?  If we wanted to make changes, she encouraged us to look again at this day – just today.  What was one thing we could do, what decision would we make, to support the choices for a healthier lifestyle?

Here are some of the time-saving ideas shared in the group to help us eat well when we all feel the crunch of time:

  • Wash, dry and cut a bulk quantity of greens and/or other vegetables.  Then freeze them in meal size portions so that all you have to do is cook them when you are ready to eat them.  The question came up about freezing greens – yes you can! (think frozen spinach, or see top image)
  • Prepare a large quantity of main dish meals that can be augmented with sides for dinner.  Eat your portion one night, and freeze the rest in dinner size portions for later.
  • Make a stock soup in large quantities – use broth for enriching rice or pasta.  Puree veggies for a veggie soup, serve meat with meals, reserve some broth to re-heat for a quick “to-go” meal that you can drink.
  • Check out THIS link for more info on salad-in-a-jar and The Fresh 20; both time-savers.  The salads make for fresh, healthy convenience food, and The Fresh 20 is a planning/prep guideline that calls for one shopping/prep day and easy dinners on meal nights.
  • Prepare a week’s worth of food, and cut-up and label snack foods for fresh noshing.  Amanda makes a pasta salad that can be eaten cold for her anyone in her family to eat anytime, while staying out of her labeled items to be used later in the week for meals.

We also talked a little about how we prepare food.  One mama does Reiki over it before preparing/eating.  I shared that I say a prayer for God to bless our minds, our bodies and our souls with the food he has provided for us before I make a meal (especially when the meal is a gift to another recipient).  Basically, the idea was to prepare food with intention, because that is also part of feeding with love and respect…pouring our love into every action, including meal preparation, that will directly or indirectly be affecting our children.

In the Mexican tradition, we have a saying that if we are angry when we are preparing a meal, our food will be spicier.  Do you have any traditional beliefs about food in your family?  How about time-saving tips?  Any thoughts to share on the topic?

Thoughtful Thursday: Fears

Did you catch these pictures yesterday?

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Otter could not get enough of this friendly little snake, called a Rosy Boa.  I felt a little better knowing that this was a snake who had already reached it’s full size.  It took everything in me to get close to take pictures…OMGosh my skin was crawling and my tummy was doing flips and still, I wanted to contain my scream and encourage my children in their safe exploration.

It turns out that I learned this fear…did you know that we are only born with two fears?  We are born with the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises…makes sense that those are built into our DNA as survival mechanisms.  Everything else we are afraid of, we learned to be afraid of.

I tucked this little factoid away in my management days…I was always looking to learn new information about how to inspire people.  Now I have four wonderful people who I want to inspire to live life to the fullest…and I have to set my own fears aside so that they can explore, learn and grow in their world.  I did tell them how brave I thought they were to be petting so many snakes (there were three there and they touched all three of them!!!)

On a side note, I was so glad to hear the presenter tell the children that even if they thought the snake was friendly, never to touch or attempt to pet a snake in the wild.  We will be driving that lesson home since we have a “pet” snake at our summer house.  It’s actually a king snake that burrows near our home, and I am happy to let him have his space since he eats rattlesnakes.

They could tell I was afraid.  After thinking about it, I really need to come up with an answer besides, “I don’t like snakes.”  I am teaching them fear and prejudice with that answer.  While I know some fears are probably considered “healthy fears”, I do not want to teach them one that hinders their exploration or respect for other living creatures.  I was thinking I can say something like, “Snakes make me feel uncomfortable.  Mommy is so glad to see you exploring, though. I think you are so brave.  Thank you for showing me I do not have to be afraid.”

So, another parenting lesson learned and filed away for our next Animal Encounter experience.  We will be going back next month, so I will have a chance to get it right!

What do you think?  Do you have any fears that you do or do not want to teach your children?  How do you handle those situations??

 

Wordless Wednesday: Out and About

Welcome to our second installment of Out & About pictures – here are some of the field trips we went on over the last few days.

Horseback Riding

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Nina Pulliam Audubon Center

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Chandler Museum at the McCullogh-Price House

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Some shares from Cassandra & T in California:

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Please share where you are out and about with your Sweet Peas! We are always looking for new ideas, and of course, we love seeing your Sweet Peas growing and exploring!  Send your submissions to sweetpeafamilies@gmail.com.

Have a great week!  KB & CO

 

Enjoying the Field Trips

A little peek into our homeschool day today…

I am by nature a list maker.  I *love* schedules and sticking to them.  It is a big effort for me to step back and realize that my children simply want to play all day long, as they should.

It is always a struggle to balance my need to finish a list and their needs to play and learn through play.  In order to balance out those two things, I have been mindful to include some of the great activities that I post up on our website into our family’s life.  No more “we are too busy” reasoning.  They are part of the schedule now – since I wrote them into our calendar, we do them!  Kind of backwards…it works, though.

What are some of the things we have done?  We went to the Animal Encounter on Saturday.  This morning we went to the C-Town Time Travelers program at the Chandler Museum and learned about doing laundry in the days before washing machines that worked without electricity.  We still have to try to work in one more field trip this week – I think we will look at our list and pick one more.

Guess what – the kiddos are loving it!!  They love to ask where our field trips are going to be.  They get enrichment without me having to stress about the planning.  They are free, so I don’t have to buy tickets or materials, which makes Coach Bruss super-happy!!  It gets us all out of the house for fresh air.  And we all come back with more energy for the rest of the school day.

Where are you going to out and about with your Sweet Peas? Be sure to send us your submissions for #wordlesswednesday…I will be sharing our photos tomorrow, too 🙂

Monday Musings: Time

My heart catches in my throat just about every time I look at Otter these days.  She is two weeks away from turning two!!  Even more amazing, big brother NIght Owl is turning six a couple of days before her birthday, Charger just turned four, and Puma is marching along to her ninth birthday.  She has already started counting down until her 16th birthday so she can drive.

S.T.O.P. growing!!!!  Please.

I think it is hitting me harder, because just about now would be the time I would be pregnant if we were still growing our family.  I am still processing the idea that I will never be pregnant again; I will never be a part of that miracle of creation.  It’s a big one for me because it was an amazing experience – the pregnancy, the movements, the births…the babies.

And yet, I am thrilled to see them grow.  We are out of the baby phase – we have four children now.  They are all learning, growing, exploring new skills and new vocabulary.  I am watching Puma’s writing take off and seeing her internalize and use her math skills in all kinds of applications; Night Owl is really learning to read; Charger is so excited to be doing school this year; and Otter – she just loves life.

Her new favorite thing is stacking things up and jumping off.  May God have mercy on us and send us his Angels to help us.  Really.  I want to protect her and yet I know she has to figure out this hard surface thing on her own.  I hope and pray she doesn’t break anything, and in the meantime, I try to sneak in a pillow here and there to break the fall.  We encourage her to stack things with us so that we do them on the tumbling mats and there is some supervision and protection while she explores her boundaries.

I treasure our nights when we are back to just our snuggly children, and I can still cradle them like when they were my babies.  We can finally say we almost have a bedtime routine.  We take our Juice Plus+ and fish oils, everyone brushes their teeth, and then we read out loud before the kiddos pick out “the movie”.  Lately, we barely even make it to the movie – you guessed it…Night Owl is the only one who is still awake.  Yeah for less screen time for most of them.

I have noticed that I don’t sing to the children as much as I used to sing to Puma when she was a baby.  I am trying to be mindful to do more singing.  Can you help me out?  What are some of your favorite lullabies or night songs?

Upcoming Event: Healthy Happy Baby Expo

I am so excited to announce the Healthy Happy Baby Expo coming up next Saturday, September 21, 2013.  We sat down with organizer Kim Swayman, owner of the Healthy Baby, Happy Earth store in Glendale, AZ.  Please read our interview with her over on Sweet Pea Birth‘s today.

Although it is billed as a “Baby Expo”, there will be plenty there for parents of older children.  Along with the usual fare of Breastfeeding Q&A, babywearing, and car seat safety, some of the other sessions are:

  • Protecting Your Little Explorer – Session taught by Nancy Dastrup, owner of Arizona Childproofers
  • Helping Siblings Adjust – Taught by Youth Etc. – Valley Clinical Services
  • Nutrition – Baby’s First Year- Presented by Lisa Ingermanson RD,CLC – Easter Seals Southwest Human Development
  • Fostering a Love of Reading – Offered with Michelle Clark from Babymoon Inn – she is known for creating early literacy play spaces in over 20 libraries and for providing training on early literacy across the country

Check out the complete listing at the event website, http://www.healthyhappybabyexpo.com.  I just got a note from Kim that the Comfort Measures Class offered by my colleague is full, and we are adding a second session.  It is definitely a great idea to pre-register for these free classes, save your seat, and get the most out of your day!!

Will we see you there?  We will be there in the afternoon after we teach our Bradley™ “Next” class.  Leave me a comment and let me know if we should look for you.

Thoughtful Thursday: Priorities!

What a day!  My back knows I was busy today…

What is on your to-do list every day?  How do you figure out what is the most important?

A long time ago I learned this little saying: Drop – Delay – Delegate – Do!

There is also a little quadrant that looks like this:

Have you ever looked at your to-do list through this lens?

Have you ever looked at your to-do list through this lens?

So instead of blogging today, which is my joy to share with our readers, I got busy attacking the work that needs to be done to set up for a pleasant school year and efficient Bradley classes.  Here is how Drop – Delay – Delegate – Do looks with the quadrant:

Instead of trying to get everything done, do what you can do while you maintain a semblance of sanity.

Instead of trying to get everything done, do what you can do while you maintain a semblance of sanity.

We are coming up on some exciting times in our family and pretty soon people are going to start descending on the house.  If I want to clean once, I need to do it.  I know where I want to find things, and I also want to get on with the purging!!  It’s easy to throw things in boxes and hide them behind a closet door (been there, doing that when I choose sleep over cleaning!).  I find that those boxes become an albatross, taunting me and calling my name when I really just want to sit and enjoy our children or dig into a good book.

So I am sorry if we missed each other today…I hope you had a great day.  While we enjoyed camping out on our living room floor the first three days of our school year…it is *really* nice to have the school room organized, the kiddos back in a rhythm, and our living room is closer to being ready to receive guests…and now our physical space for school is ready which means I will be in a better mental space and I also have a place to write that doesn’t make me sit at crazy angles…yeah all around!

Each kiddo has a dedicated shelf, our table is clean, and lots of manipulatives, books, and art supplies!

Each kiddo has a dedicated shelf, our table is clean, and lots of manipulatives, books, and art supplies!

I still have to straighten up the dining room table that becomes my desk when I run out of space in the school room.  I will get to that tonight after the kiddos are in bed!  

Wordless Wednesday: Out and About

Fall is in the air – perfect time to be out and about with our Sweet Peas!  This month I will be featuring all the different ways we enjoy life with our little ones…want to share your pics?  Please send your submissions to sweetpeafamilies@gmail.com

Side note: special love to all of you affected by the 9/11/01 tragedy.  We will be out and about later at a Remembrance Event – I don’t know how anything will ever convey the sadness of that day to our littles, in the hope that when they are older, they will be inspired to spread peace. <3 <3 <3

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Tuesday Tips: About Baby Food

Do you want to know about baby food and feeding made easy without using commercial baby “junk food”?  Today’s tips are for you!

I made purees for the boys.  While it was great to have them to mix-in to other foods and sneak veggies in everywhere, it was time consuming.  It took two days dedicated in the kitchen to make 30 days worth of purees.  With Otter being our fourth Sweet Pea, and two kiddos to homeschool, plus all the activities our three older kiddos needed to be ferried to and from, I was ready to try a feeding theory that was going to save me time.

Both Cassandra and I ascribe to the concept of Baby-Led Weaning.  It is not, as it sounds to our ears here in the USA, a method by which a baby stops breastfeeding and goes straight to solids.  It is a theory of feeding that proposes to skip purees and start with foods when a baby is ready, typically between six to nine months of age.

One of the reasons why our family decided to go the Baby-Led Weaning route:

“Feeding practices such as introducing lumpy foods before ten months of age and consuming family meals have been shown to lead to healthier eating patterns through childhood.”
http://theconversation.com/branded-baby-food-falls-short-of-home-made-fare-but-why-18004

The other reason is that it is actually insanely easy…you feed them what you are eating, with the exception that anything you serve to them is cut up into pea-sized pieces as they learn to feed themselves.  You still take the usual precaution of introducing one food at a time, so that you can identify any potential allergies.  We would also space 2-3 days between food introductions.

How do you know your baby is ready for Baby-Led Weaning?  A baby demonstrates they are ready for solids when:

  • They can sit independently – that means no props, folks.  Your baby can get from a prone position to a sitting position all by themselves, without the support of a chair or pillow to keep them in a seated position.
  • They have lost the tongue-thrust reflex, which means that they don’t try to suck at anything and everything you put in their mouth by reaching forward with their tongue first.
  • They have developed their “pincer-grip”, which is the ability to use typically their thumb and forefinger to grasp at objects (anyone else have a Sweet Pea that practiced on your arm while they were nursing – that was one of the clues for me!)

It does require some thought and planning.  You want to take into consideration any food allergies that run in your family, and possibly delay the introduction of those foods into your child’s first or second year.  You may want to look at food introduction schedules to make sure that your baby is going to be open to trying lots of different foods, not just stick to the sweet tastes.  Click on the links for a couple to check out from La Leche League and Dr. Sears.

The other tip I like to share was shared with us when Night Owl was a baby.  After his RSV scare, we saw a lot more of his specialty pediatrician, and this is what they told us: introduce new foods in the morning.  Why would that make sense?  In the event that your Sweet Pea has an adverse reaction to any food you introduce, care facilities typically have their “A-team” on staff during the day.

Most of all, have fun with it.  Remember that in most cases, your breastmilk is providing complete nutrition for your Sweet Pea up through their first birthday.  One of our students has a great little saying that I love to share: “Food before one is just for fun!”

If they play with their food, let them! They are exploring the smell, the texture, and the taste.  Some of it is making it into their mouth…and for whatever doesn’t, your breastmilk is still there providing complete nutrition.  Neat fact: your breastmilk changes flavor according the the food you eat, so they have already been exposed to all the flavors you will probably be offering them.

If your Sweet Pea sees that you have good eating habits, they will mimic you.  Before you know it, you will have a well-fed toddler that eats just about anything and everything that (s)he is offered.

I still have to migrate our Baby-Led Weaning posts over from our Sweet Pea Births site – it’s an 8-week chronicle of Otter’s foray into food.  Check it out HERE.  Want to see what the results of this type of feeding?  Cassandra has done some awesome posts on feeding her toddler.  Check them out HERE and HERE.

My favorite resources: Introducing Solids
Baby Led Weaning
La Leche League
Dr. Sears

Disclaimer: 
The material included on this site is for informational purposes only.  It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult her or his healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation.  Cassandra Okamoto, Krystyna and Bruss Bowman and Bowman House, LLC accept no liability for the content of this site, or for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided.  

Trying to use humor…

I have been working with Blue Russ to address my health choices and find more time to breathe in my day.  One of my goals is to write affirmations to get the day off to a good start.  I found this one helpful the last time I could tell I was ovulating: the skin breakouts, cervical mucous, and the general feeling that my volume was louder than I like it to be.

Remembering this did help me last month – it was awesome.  Too bad I forgot to use it that day.  Turns out it was a couple of days before my moon time – I should have known and remembered to use humor…chalk up another tally mark next to “lessons I must remember”!!